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The Dream Team Has No Competition

So I awoke this morning and watched a replay of one of my favorite programs, a little diddy known as ‘Around the Horn.’ On it one of the esteemed columnists, Mr. Bill Plaschke said one of the craziest things I have ever heard. Right up there with an argument I heard on the train how Lil’ Wayne was better than Tupac or Biggie. You see Mr. Plaschke said the craziest basketball related thing I ever heard. He claims that the 2012 USA Basketball team could beat the dream team. I’m gonna say it again because it bears repeating. He claims that the 2012 USA Basketball team could beat the dream team. So I’m gonna line the rosters up side by side and let’s just give a fair analysis of who is better shall we?

Centers:

1992 Dream Team:                                                          2012 Men’s Team:

David Robinson                                                               Tyson Chandler

Patrick Ewing

This is not what Tyson is used to.

I don’t even need to tell you where the advantage lies. David Robinson and Patrick Ewing will haunt the dreams of Tyson Chandler.

Advantage: Dream Team

Power Forwards:

1992 Dream Team:                                                          2012 Men’s Team

Karl Malone                                                                     Blake Griffin

Charles Barkley                                                                Kevin Love

Christian Laettner

They got Kevin Love trying to guard me? Thats turrible.

Again…word? While Griffin and Love would eat Laettner’s lunch, if they even gave Barkley and Malone a side glance they would get their souls destroyed.

Advantage: Dream Team

Small Forwards:

1992 Dream Team                                                            2012 Men’s Team

Larry Bird                                                                         Kevin Durant

Scottie Pippen                                                                   Lebron James

Chris Mullin                                                                      Carmelo Anthony

                                                                                        Andre Iguodala

Chris Mullin is just criminally underrated.

This is where there is some argument for the current team. Lebron and Durant are 1-2 in the league right now while Melo is still a dominant if not ball hogging scorer and Iggy is an immensely talented wing defender. Larry Bird at the time was a shell of his former self dealing with back injuries, Mullin was an amazing scorer but overall the 2012 group gets a slight nod.

Advantage: 2012 Team

Shooting Guard:

1992 Dream Team:                                                          2012 Men’s Team:

Michael Jordan                                                                 Kobe Bryant

Clyde Drexler                                                                   James Harden

Shut up. We all know who get this one.

Advantage: Dream Team

Point Guards:

1992 Dream Team:                                                          2012 Men’s Team:

John Stockton                                                                 Chris Paul

Magic Johnson                                                                Deron Williams

                                                                                       Russell Westbrook

This one is not as tough as I thought it would be. I think the size and speed of Williams and Westbrook would dominate Stockton, and Chris Paul vs Magic would be a basketball nerd’s dream. Overall the athleticism and speed of this year’s guard would be the deciding factor.

Advantage: 2012 Team

Overall I fully expect the men’s team to win gold in London but comparisons to the Dream Team must stop. They remain the most dominant team in the modern era winning their games by 51.5 points per game.  Dream Team would easily coast to victory. No question.

NBA Ranting and Ravings From a Lunatic

Well the NBA draft has come and gone and with it the time of free agency has descended upon us so I guess I’ll drop a blog post on you in the old rambling style. Here goes everything.

· There may be nothing in the world of sports that doesn’t occur on a field or court than I love more than the NBA draft. For one night all of these guys are on equal footing. Yet in a few short months we will see who will be all stars and who of course will be the dreaded Darko and Olowakandis of this draft.

· New Orleans came off like bandits in this draft. A potential defensive cornerstone in Anthony Davis, a dynamic slasher in Austin Rivers and if they match the offer sheet of Eric Gordon the Crescent city may finally have a team as dynamic as the city itself.


· Cleveland? The hell? Dion Waiters? Wow. You know the last player to be drafted before starting a game was Marvin Williams…so yeah that turned out well for the Hawks.

· I was shocked Perry Jones fell as far as he did. I don’t think this kid is going to be Kevin Durant Jr, but if he can get his mind into the game he can be a very valuable piece to a team.

· The Bulls drafted the backup point guard of the future. Not flashy, but solid.

· During last summer the overwhelming theme was the greedy players are ruining the game when really it was the lazy owners are overpaying players. Further proof that the lockout was for naught was when the Houston Rockets signed Omer Asik, a good defensive back up who averaged a whopping 3 points and 5 boards a game a contract for 3 year, 25 million dollar deal. 3 points…25 million dollars. Yeah. Way to go owners.

"They offered me how much?"

· Also Jeremy Lin getting signed to an offer of 28 million dollars is ridiculous. I don’t blame him for signing but word? That kind of deal to a guy who played in 35 games last year? Get your money Lin but owners…yeah
.
· The Bulls should tank this season. Let’s be honest we won’t win with the current roster and no D-Rose. Start Teague; get him some experience to be the 2nd unit guy we need in the 2013 season. That’s right I also suggest sitting Rose all of next season. No need to rush him back and have a Penny Hardaway situation. Then maybe, just maybe we get lucky and San Antonio Spur this thing. You know when David Robinson got hurt, they sucked for a year, got the number one pick, draft Tim Duncan and 2 years later they were champs.

· I don’t claim to know anything about Damien Lillard, but that was the worst suit of the 2012 draft. Congrats young man!

"My mom chose this for me..."

· The 76ers are gonna have an exciting team next year, signed the highly entertaining Nick “Swaggy P” Young along with the addition of dynamic young guys Arnett Moultrie and Moe Harkless. They won’t win, but they’ll be exciting to watch.

"Somebody get young swaggalicious a cheese steak."

Well that’s all I have for now. So I’ll end with this.

The fuck…

10 Worst Draft Day Suits

I know what the people want and that's why I am here to give it to you. For weeks people having been hounding the Puma about the NBA draft, well wait no longer because the definitive list is complete and I am ready to share. Without further ado I present the ten worst draft day suits!

Honorable Mention:

Larry Johnson, SF, UNLV:
This is only an honorable mention as I don't know if this was for a post draft photo shoot or the actual draft day.Either way the '90s were a bad time.

10. Bobby Jackson, G, Minnesota

Not a completely terrible idea, execution was lacking however.

9. Maurice Taylor, PF, Michigan

Teal bruh? And with pinstripes? Wooo! Like I said earlier, the '90s were a rough time for us all.

8. Drew Gooden, PF, Kansas

They call you "The Goods." This sir is most certainly not good.

7. Peja Stojakovic, SF, Yugoslavia

"What is this velvet?" David Stern asked incredulously

Look closely at that suit. You'll understand why it is on this list.

6. Tim Thomas, SF, Villanova

A tailor can be your best friend Tim.

5. Glenn Robinson, SF, Purdue

What in the name of Dolemite Hell is this? He looks like he ought to be hustling someone in a pool hall.

4. Jalen Rose, PG, Michigan

This one hurts as I am a big fan of the Jalen Rose podcast and really think highly of his analysis of the NBA. But red pinstripes? This is not what the people want.

3. Erick Dampier, C, Mississippi St.

Speaking of red...

2. Karl Malone, PF, Louisiana Tech

 Not that big a fan of Malone as a person (see here) but he was without question a top 5 player during the 90s and arguably the best power forward of all time. What however can not be argued is the fact that he could get a big boy tie for his big mnoment.

1. Samaki Walker, PF,  Louisville

The undisputed champion of bad draft night suits is here. I don't know how to describe this except for to say Bishop Don Juan would be proud. This suit reminds me of something that the old wrestler The Godfather would wear. Don't know him, here he is:

Pimpin' ain't easy man!

Well folks glad I was able to satiate your need for random and somewhat pointless information. To my basketball geeks enjoy the draft and to the rest of you get on our level.

What a finals.

 

What an NBA Finals. And I know what you’re thinking, “how can I truly enjoy this without the Chocolate Puma’s opinion?” Well don’t you fret baby birds. The Puma is here to fulfill those needs!

First things first, I have given Lebron James hell over the past few seasons but even I have to stand up and applaud right now. He is balling his ass off. A triple double machine, he appears to have finally stopped listening to fans and has completely gone into F-U mode. Well done sir. And no need to worry fans or should I say fan of the Puma I will go back to hating as soon as the next point is made.

No one is as big a hater on the Miami Heat than I am but even I have to say I am impressed for two reasons. First, while we knew Lebron was going to do what he does, but Shane Battier? It’s like the 2006 version of Battier decided to show up for this one. Also Erik Spoelstra is actually outcoaching someone? Huh? What kind of bizarre universe is this?

 If the Thunder lose this series it won’t be on the back of the worst point guard in the world according to many. Russell Westbrook is a guy who showed the only person on the floor right now that can stop him is Russell Westbrook.

 Now James Harden on the other hand was shook. He looked more like John Starks last night than ever. The potential for a big night is there but in the moment he shrunk.

What? Me? Shoot? Nah. I'll just stand here though.

I’m gonna need Jon Barry and the ESPN crew to go away. We need the TNT crew with Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley, and Kenny Smith. The best crew in sports today I would argue.

 I am actively rooting against the Miami Heat but for a different reason than most. Lebron and those guys have earned a ring but the constant complaining by “Heat fan” Lil’ Wayne has annoyed the shit out of me. He tries to go to a Thunder game and is told we don’t have any more courtside seats. Clearly because he’s black and didn’t show up the day of right? Oh he did show up the day of, then disregard. Then he complained once he got tickets he had to go out the entrance other fans do, not the player’s entrance so he could chill with the Heat. Well I declare I do believe I’ve caught the vapors from this injustice. Is this guy serious?

Any man that wears this can't complain about anything...ever.

    I hope you all realize the history being made in this Finals. If the Heat win, Eddy Curry will have a championship while Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, and Elgin Baylor didn’t. EDDY CURRY!

Yup...Eddy. Curry.

NBA Finals Preview

Wow NBA, what a job done these playoffs. Outside of Derrick Rose going down with the torn ACL and destroying my hopes and dreams of a Bulls championship this has been a very exciting playoffs. And to no one’s surprise the Thunder will be taking their game to South Beach to take on the hated Miami Heat. Everyone is out there choosing sides, so allow me to give my 100% biased opinion which will probably end with the Miami Heat losing in 6 games.

PG: Mario Chalmers vs. Russell Westbrook

Lawd do I even have to give you the edge on this one? This is gonna be a freaking massacre in my opinion.  Chalmers averaging 11.5, Westbrook is averaging 21.7. Westbrook also is a monster defensively.

Edge: OKC

SG: Dwayne Wade vs. Thabo Sefolohsa

I’m gonna give the edge to Wade on this one not surprising, but Wade has not played well this postseason. At times he has taken the first half off, Sefolosha is a very capable defender and should frustrate him enough.

Edge: Miami

SF: Lebron James vs Kevin Durant

Holy hell, if I hear one more person tell me James is a choke artist I am gonna need you to shut the hell up. And it pains me to say, I am as big a hater there is when it comes to the Heat. With Bosh injured, Wade not showing up, he has been a one man wrecking crew. Now the Durantula has been impressive as well and now appears to be playing a little better defense but right now Lebron is the best baller on the planet.

Edge: Miami

PF: Chris Bosh vs Serge Ibaka

Bosh is by far the superior offensive player but he is coming off a very annoying injury which usually lingers. Serge Ibaka is a young defensive beast, if he can kick in ten points off putbacks which is his usual, this could push the advantage over to the Thunder. Given that Bosh will have time to rest a bit from the injury I am going to call it even for now.

Edge: Draw

C: Ronny Turiaf vs Kendrick Perkins

Come on dawg. Perks in a landslide.

Edge: OKC

Bench:

The Thunder boast a bench with 6^th man of the year James Harden, playoff vet Derek Fisher, and hustle man Nick Collision. The Heat has Udonis Haslem, Norris Cole, Shane Battier and well a bunch of guys who won’t contribute. I mean they have Eddy Curry sitting on their bench.

Edge: OKC

Coaching: Erik Spoelstra vs Scott Brooks

Look at Miami when it comes time to draw up a final shot and you understand why I gotta give the edge to Brooks. Greg Popovich put a clown suit on Brooks the first two games of the Western Conference Finals, he adjusted and ended their 20 game win streak and sent the Spurs back to the Alamo.

Edge: OKC

That's right folks, I'm in the NBA Finals!

Overall this is going to be a great series, Lebron will answer the questions regarding his individual performance in big games but unfortunately for him his supporting cast doesn’t play as well. Oklahoma City will close this out in 6. Holy shit!  Just like I said up top. Let the reign of NostraThompson begin.

 

Happy Black Music Month

I recently read the other day that it’s Black music month. And it got me to thinking about which song by a Black artist has had a profound experience on me. Something that would could possible describe as a seminal moment in their life. I have plenty of albums that I have listened to that I say my life is better having heard it. Musical masterpieces such as Aquemini by Outkast, Train of Thought by Reflection Eternal, or Innervisions by Stevie Wonder all have helped me become the Puma that you all know and love and to try and nail down the one song that has had the most effect on me is impossible. So in true cop out fashion I am going to nail down the five most powerful songs to me presented in no particular order.

5. You Must Love Me:  Jay-Z (Vol 1: In My Lifetime)

Definitely the most personal track out of the entire catalog of Shawn Carter, Hova shows he is not just about the jewels and bragging about his wealth. He reflects with guilt on the past mistakes of his life from selling drugs to his mother to his guilt over sending a past love on a drug run.  You hear the regret in his voice and how it had affected him at the moment he recorded it. 

4. Good Times: Sam Cooke (Single)

Most people for good reason always think of “A Change is Gonna Come” when Sam is brought up, and for good reason, that is one of the greatest songs ever. This song is more powerful for me due to the memories that this invokes. Hearing this takes me back to hanging with my grandmother and hearing her sing this. It takes me to a happy place.

3.  What’s Going On? : Marvin Gaye (What’s Going On)

Do I even need to explain this one?

2.  The Blast: Talib Kweli and DJ Hi-Tek (Train of Thought)

I remember the moment I first heard this song. I came home from a long day of school, turned the tv on and plopped onto my bed. Then I heard that opening line and have been a Kweli fan ever since. 

1.  I Can’t Write Left Handed: Bill Withers

Bill Withers first and foremost is probably the most underrated singer of the last 50 years.  From ‘Lean on Me’ to ‘Use Me’ to ‘Just the two of us.’ He was and still is amazing. This song about a young soldier’s perspective of the Vietnam War is downright heartbreaking and will no doubt touch you.

And presented for no reason really I leave you with Billy Preston aka Agent Double O Soul.

So happy Black Music Month, go out there and pick up albums by Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles and others. And while you're at it burn your Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane albums...damn it.