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Welcome to Chicago Brandon Marshall. Hot Dougs is on me.

Seriously Rick...

"Most people agree a continuation of the current [welfare] system will be the ruination of this country. We are seeing it. We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it's falling apart because of single moms."
-Rick Santorum

Seriously Rick, do me and the rest of this country a favor and shut the hell up. How dare you blame the decline of a nation on some of the most hard working people the country has to offer? My mother raised me and my sisters alone, and to the best of my knowledge we're not criminals. I have friends who were brought up by Mom alone and turned out phenomenally. Working hard to provide a life better than the life they lived, sacrificing so much to ensure we are able to have the things we needed and some of the things we just wanted. You didn't just spew ignorance, you insulted the women who should be uplifted. And for that sir you are worse than the Urban Dictionary definition of your name.

Please Stop The Comparisons!

I take a week long hiatus for vacation and I return to see that the world has gone crazy. Don’t you worry fans and enemies of the Puma alike as I am now here to help put your shattered lives back together. You see while I was vacationing in Mexico the Puma missed out on the beginning of a phenomenon that is sweeping the nation. I refer of course to Linsanity. This kid has played amazing and it getting a lot of publicity. What has annoyed me the most are the constant comparisons being lobbed right now, you know with the guy whom I have waxed poetic about on numerous occasions. You know his name…Tim Tebow.

Our good friends at the worldwide leader have decided to shove down our throats the narrative that Tebow and Lin have so much in common. I am going to keep this short and extremely awesome by using something crazy called facts. Tim Tebow coming out of high school was a 5 star quarterback who went to the University of Florida which traditionally has been a football powerhouse. Jeremy Lin is an Asian American point guard in a predominately black sport, who was not rated and played basketball at Harvard a school which has produced exactly 3 other NBA players. Florida’s 2005-06 had more NBA players in THEIR STARTING LINEUP.

It doesn’t end there folks. Yes people doubted Tebow, but he was still drafted in the first round and immediately placed at second on the depth chart. Mr. Lin was not drafted, cut by two teams, and had stints in the developmental league. In fact the only reason he got a chance to play was because three other point guards on a 12 man roster were hurt. I am not discounting anything he has done, but a lot had to happen for him to get a chance. Tebow got a chance after a few misthrows from a quarterback the coach didn’t want in the first place.

So while both are heartwarming tales, not the same. They’re both Christians, but using that logic Troy Polamalu and Jeremy Lin are brothers. Where’s that special?

Black History Month Rant

Know who this is? Well that's a shame if you don't.

Every year around this time I am hit at least once with a question that almost angers me. “Well why do black people get a month and white people don’t?” First of all I am not the emperor of blackness and I don’t have all the answers so stop asking. What I will say is what I say every year. Black History Month isn’t an indictment of white people or saying black people are better, what it is to me is recognition of some of the Black people who helped in making this country great that let’s face it otherwise would not be taught. Let’s face it history classes most of the time are a wee bit vanilla with the possible exception of mentions of Dr. King, George Washington Carver and Booker T. Washington, history classes are filled with mentions of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Ben Franklin etc, why is it so wrong to recognize the accomplishments of the black community?

But Puma you might be saying, what about the other groups who have contributed? Where are their months? Right here:
National Hispanic Heritage Month - September 15 - October 15
American Indian Heritage Month - November 1 - 30
National Women's History Month - March 1 - 31
Asian Pacific American Heritage Month - May 1 - 31

Oh boy sure looks fair to the Puma. Boy this seems downright fair. A diverse history lesson spread out across the year so kids see that people like Thomas Edison weren’t the only ones doing shit back in the day. When I was growing up I was taught that people like Christopher Columbus were great explorers. Never knowing he was just a guy that was looking for the West Indies and ended up in Boston. I should have also learned about Matthew Henson. Who is Matthew Henson?

He was a black explorer who actually got to where he INTENDED to go. You see Henson went all the way to the FUCKING NORTH POLE! Who knows how many children he could have inspired if he was actually taught in schools.

The point is, when it comes to history there is plenty of room to accurately show those who shaped this country. It would be nice if while growing up I was taught more about people who looked like me at least once. A full view of history would help to inspire an entire generation of kids who just haven’t been inspired by people with whom they feel no connection.

I was lucky. I had a mom and older sisters who helped pique my curiosity which led me to seek these heroes out on my own. It made me a better person and I only hope that this curiosity to seek out knowledge won’t become just another thing of the past.

The Most Disrespectful Dunks in NBA History

The Blake Griffin dunk has destroyed souls all over the place.

Some are calling in the best dunk of the year (slow down, it’s early) but it got me thinking about what are some of the most disrespectful dunks in NBA history. I mean demoralizing and really was a stain on that person’s career. I give you my top 3.

3. Shawn Kemp over Alton Lister

This dunk is so awesome for a few reasons. He catches this at the top of the key, avoids contact by cuffing the ball and then has the explosion to take off and unleash an unholy baptizing on Mr. Lister. And the cherry on top is the point so he knows he got dunked on.

2. Dr. J over Michael Cooper

Now Cooper is one of the best defensive players of the 80s. And I am sure he thought he could alter the shot enough to make it a bright decision to jump, against a normal person it would have been a good idea. Not so much against Dr J. He takes off, rocks the cradle with ball and still has enough hang time to bring it DOWN!

1.Scottie Pippen over Patrick Ewing

My buddy Pete said it best: “this is the most diabolical yam job in the history of mankind.”
Truth.

If you change history, it becomes a fictional story.

It’s taken a few days for me to properly formulate my feelings on a current controversial topic going on right now in the state of Tennessee. For those of you unaware of what is happening I am going to give you the brief rundown of this controversy. A group of Tea Party activists are currently pushing for textbooks to portray slavery in a much more positive light. According to the spokesperson for this group, they feel “an awful lot of made-up criticism about, for instance, the founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites in one way or another…The thing we need to focus on about the founders is that, given the social structure of their time, they were revolutionaries who brought liberty into a world where it hadn't existed, to everybody -- not all equally instantly -- and it was their progress that we need to look at.”

First of all let’s get something out of the way, some of the founding fathers owned slaves. This is a fact. Not all but to just ignore the fact that some of the most romanticized figures owned slaves is just sickening. It’s sickening because you are distorting history to fit this image that has been created. How about the father of this great nation George Washington? Yeah he owned over 200 slaves. Well what about Thomas Jefferson? Yep he owned over 100 slaves, and even had children with one of his slaves Sally Hemmings.


They owned people. Period. There is no white washing this fact. They did great things but they also did fucked up things. It happened it has to be acknowledged. History isn’t always good; you have to recognize the bad because these things affect this nation still.

How does this affect the nation to this day you be asking? Well for starters how about the guilt it still causes a vast amount of White Americans to this day. How about as a Black American it is almost impossible to trace my family history to a country of origin. And I won’t even get into more complex ideas of how slavery has affect family structure not to mention societal disadvantages.

"Neglect and outright ill will have distorted the teaching of the history and character of the United States. We seek to compel the teaching of students in Tennessee the truth regarding the history of our nation and the nature of its government," is what this group claims to have as its intentions. If you want students in Tennessee to know the truth you can’t minimalize slavery. It happened. It was a terrible crime against humanity. And to boil that down to “well it was cool at the time” is insulting to the memory of all of those who were brutalized and treated like less of a human being. We owe it to them and those both black and white who fought and some of whom died for their freedom.

The founding fathers were men. They were brave, but a lot of times they were wrong. Acknowledging this isn’t disrespectful, when you elevate them to a status of a deity and don’t acknowledge what’s uncomfortable that’s when you disrespect them.

Hahahahahaha!