Friday, April 18, 2014

The Chocolate Puma Awards: NBA Edition

Holy hell, I love the NBA and what a season that has just passed us by. I know you have all been clamoring and begging for the Chocolate Puma to give you his opinion and awards out to those deserving players. Well ask no more, for I am here to present…THE SIXTH ANNUAL CHOCOLATE PUMA AWARD FOR OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN THE FIELD OF EXCELLENCE.

Rookie of the Year: Michael Carter Williams, PG, Philadelphia
"I shut that cocky as blogger up eh?"
Carter-Williams was only bright spot in the city of brotherly love this year. I’ll admit I thought he would not be that good of a player. I looked at my notes on him (yes I take notes on players for a blog very few people read, don’t judge me) and one of the few positive things I had to say was “he looks like a member of an early 90s r&b group.” I was wrong.

Coach of the Year: Jeff Hornacek, Phoenix Suns

I had to google to find out who was the coach of this team. I really just referred to him as that guy who is coaching the hell out of the Phoenix Suns, a team that no one expected do much of anything and many thought would be sorry for Jabari this season. 50 wins and barely out the playoffs, going forward this team is on that should rise.

Sixth Man of the Year: Taj Gibson, PF, Chicago Bulls
Never gets old.
Ahhhhhhhh shit! You knew I was going to pick a few Bulls for my awards and this honor is well deserved. This is a man who would be starting if not for the bloated contract of Carlos Boozer. A versatile defender and explosive finisher at the basket is the top man on the Bulls second unit.

Most Valuable Player: Kevin Durant, SF, Oklahoma City

Based Curse aside, Durant has finally from wire to wire been the most valuable player to his team. Always a dangerous scorer, this season he has taken his game to a new dimension with a new fervor for playing defense. That said though, turning down a nickname like the Slim Reaper for The Servant is just clown shoes buddy. Also this choice gives me another place to post this:

All Chocolate Puma Team:

PG- Chris Paul

The best in the business at the point guard position.

SG- James Harden

He has quietly become the undisputed best shooting guard in the league.

SF- Kevin Durant

IF you’re MVP you got a spot on the All Puma team.

PF- Lebron James

I’ll never not have Lebron included on any active basketball related list.

If I could go back in time and tell a younger Puma who was not that pleased at the drafting of Jo Noah I would. Hey buddy this guy gets so awesome…relax.

Well there we have it. Expect a preview of the playoffs in the next few days.

NFL Draft Extravaganza

Before I begin my annual draft extravaganza allow me to get up on my soapbox for a second. You hear about this every draft and it always angers me. “The anonymous NFL executive” is a phrase you always hear and it never is attached to anything good. Recently comments about Jadaveon Clowney rubbed me the wrong way. “He's spoiled, and he's lazy. He's never worked hard a day in his life, now all of a sudden you're going to give him a bunch of money and expect him to work hard. I don't see it.'' The fact that this is going to affect the perception of Clowney is a crime. If you’re man enough to attempt to cost this kid money, because if he slides in the draft due to this it will cost him money then at the very least be man enough to put your name behind it. Something tells me that had he had an opportunity to say this to his face the words would be magically different.

Alright, now I have a confession to make to my loyal readers and people who googled Chocolate Puma looking for the Belgian house duo, I am what you would call a bit of a nerd. And one of my many nerdy moments include my intense happiness with draft times when it comes to the NBA and NFL. I spend hours watching videos on Youtube and ESPN specials and attempt to play GM. So without further ado, I present to you the top 10 picks of the 2014 NFL Draft lottery.

1. Houston: Jadaveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina

An honest assment from noted talent evaluator The Chocolate Puma: "He's a cyborg from the future genetically engineered to play football." 

2. St. Louis: Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn
If you're going to stay with Sam Bradford you gotta keep him healthy. Best way to do that is to pick the best offensive tackle to keep him upright. 

3. Jacksonville: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
Do I think Johnny Football is going to be the best quarterback in this draft? Not at all. Is he better than what Jacksonville has? Absolutely. Not only that he infuses some much needed personality into a team that franky has none. 

4. Cleveland: Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Louisville
The most pro ready quarterback in the draft. Remarkably accurate, intelligent, and really the safest pick in the draft for a team desperate for a quarterback.

5. Oakland: Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
The most exciting player in this draft by far. Watkins is a game changer in every since of the word from returns to receiving the ball. While not the most polished receiver he is the most dangerous.

6. Atlanta: Jake Matthews, OT. Texas A&M
You've committed to Matt Ryan, keep him healthy with this rock solid player who can be a corner stone on the line.

7. Tampa Bay: Khalil Mack, LB, Buffalo
Lovie Smith gets the cornerstone of his new defense. Dynamic defensive player who definitely imposes his will on the game.

8. Minnesota: Blake Bortles, QB, UCF

Vikings need a quarterback and the best on the board is Bortles. New coach has a blank slate and could possibly

9. Buffalo: Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M

My favorite receiver in the draft. Evans is a monster both catching and blocking. Team him with CJ Spiller and an improving EJ Manuel and this could be the start of something special.

10. Detroit: Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma St.

In a division with Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler you need a good corner. Gilbert is the best of a very talented bunch.

Well folks there you go, the over under on how many of these I actually get right is currently set at 2. Let's see how I do.