Got me!

It appears that these people have spilled my secret. I'm a happy old woman.

http://www.urlai.com/url/thechocolatepumaslair.blogspot.com

A Post Dedicated to the Woman I Freaked Out

A popular theme of this blog has been my inability to meet and successfully date a woman who is of the sane persuasion. From a girl who brought her mother along on the date to the one where her child showed up in the middle of the date (According to my good friend Cooper if I date a grandmother next I get a generations badge,) each date has been crazier than the one that preceded it. A week ago however I got to see how the other side lives, as I was the crazy one. Yes somewhere in the interwebs there is a veiled tweet or blog post about a woman’s interaction with me.

Now let me clarify, I didn’t go on a date with this girl but we had quite the el ride home together. Let me paint a picture for you. Usually during my hour or so train ride home I am usually lost in whatever music I have newly added to the ipod or have my head stuck in a book. This day happened to be a delightful combination of the two. As I listened to the soothing music of John Coltrane and poured over a book about the infamous Black Dahlia case I happened to look up and notice the train had stopped moving and sat between two stations. I pulled my headphones off and tried to see if there was an announcement being made but alas there was nothing being announced.

I looked to my left and beside me sat a very attractive young lady. She appeared to be about 25 or so, wore a very professional blouse and skirt combo and had her hair pulled up in a manner that says “Hey! I’m professional.” We began to chat about the crappy service of the CTA and shared a laugh when we happened to see the conductor walk along the side of the train past our car. She looked down and with a inquisitive look asked what I was reading.

Here is where the story begins to take a turn toward creepy town. I have long been a fan of the history of crimes such as assassination theories etc. Ask me to see Avatar I may slap you, but tell me there’s a cold case files marathon on, sign me up. A marathon of snapped? Son of a bitch I’m on it. So given my perverse fascination I get a little too into books on the topic. Below is a word for word transcript:
Pretty Lady: What are you reading?
Me: A book on the Black Dahlia case, it's really interesting.
Pretty Lady: The Black Dahlia? I'm not familiar.
Me: Well, it's about a young woman who moved to a LA and is murdered (insert me going into nerd mode and giving details)
Pretty Lady: ....
Me: Too much? Damn it.

So to the young woman who I freaked out I am sorry. Just understand, I really was into that book and my exuberance was just a bit too much given the subject matter. I promise I’ll be normal next time you see me.



Unless you mention clowns…I fucking hate clowns.

An Important Announcement

I know most of my posts on here are of a satirical, angry or sports related subject but today I am being completely serious. To any women whose eye should come across this please recognize that it is Breast Cancer Awareness month and please get yourself checked. In fact don't even wait until October do it earlier in the year, I don't care just do it. I have lost a very important family member and an aunt who is very close to my heart is currently battling another bout of breast cancer. If you are looking for more information please go to cancer.org or komen.org. I promise the next post will be completely unimportant, but this is something I had to say. Puma out!

A friendly rant

•Lebron just doesn’t know when to stop. Recently when asked if he felt race was a factor in his sudden fall from grace, and he said he believed it was definitely a factor. I agree that maybe some people used race as a reason to dislike him, I say it was because he handled it in the worst possible manner . I mean having a 30 minute special to say what he could have said in 1 minute? How did you think people were going to react.

•Also on the sports side I must comment on the state of affairs with the Bears. I bragged during a 3-0 start so I must comment after a loss. The defense and special teams play give me hope going forward. Urlacher, Briggs, and Tinoisamoa were quick to the ball, And Tim Jennings has has been a revelation as he has usurped Zachary Bowman’s starting corner spot. That said though, the offensive line play was atrocious. Cutler has to get rid of the ball quicker when he gets the time, but those plays were few and far between . Martz has to adjust at the half for that pass rush, 9 sacks and still calling 7 step drops is not gonna work. That said 3-1 at this point is amazing. We have a weak schedule ahead of us until we get back to division play. I’m optimistic for the rest of the season.

•I’m not the biggest fan of the NCAA right now. A few weeks ago AJ Green, a receiver for the Georgia Bulldogs was suspended for selling his jersey. A jersey that wasn’t going to get worn again. Yet the university is allowed to sell the jersey in an array of colors and sizes for up to 80 bucks a pop. Anybody else see the unfairness? These young men are the reason the sport is successful, have no time to get a job due to the competitive nature of high level athletics, yet the tired argument of “an education is their payment” reigns supreme. If you think that a at the most 30k a year education is equal compensation for an industry worth billions, you are insane.

•So Lil’ Wayne gets solitary confinement for having an mp3 player but Lindsay Lohan drives drunk and then violates parole and they can’t keep her in prison. Does this seem unfair to anyone else?

•Rick Sanchez….really?

•The John Legend and the Roots collaboration “Wake Up” is just another jewel in this crown that has been R&B and Hip Hop albums this year. Much better year than last year.

•I’ll end another rant by saying this, Brett Favre can still go suck it.

Powerful Television

I have been a little occupied with work recently but today I had a conversation about the most powerful scene in television history. Some said the final scene in Lost, some said the series finale of M*A*S*H, I countered with the carousel scene in the season finale of the first season of Mad Men. I defy you to watch this scene and not at least on some level get a little emotional. Be it from the superb acting in this scene or from some memory long seemed lost that is evoked by the brilliant writing and Jon Hamm's masterful performance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suRDUFpsHus

"This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels. Round and around and back home again to a place where we know we are loved."

Truly powerful.

Enough is Enough

America is said to be the home of the free, the land of the brave, a place where all people are accepted regardless of their sex, race, or religion. Oh, I’m sorry I think I am wrong on that last part. That’s the message that you receive if you listen to the maniacal and downright disgusting teachings of one Reverend Terry Jones of Gainesville, Florida. If you’re not caught up on what this idiot is trying to accomplish, he has planned a burning of the Quran on the ninth anniversary of September 11th. His reasoning? An idiotic cry of “Islam is of the Devil.” No backing up his claims other than the attacks of the September 11th.

First of all people of all races, religions and genders died when the cowardly attacks were launched. So to proclaim it as a crime against Christianity is just plain stupid. This was an act of aggression against America. To proclaim something like that disrespects the memory of the diverse array of people who unfairly lost their life the day the towers fell, the pentagon was hit, and flight which fell in Pennsylvania. People like “good” reverend don’t understand is everything wrong with the world is not the fault of Muslims. We Christians do more than our fair share of messed and frankly downright sadistic things. But he does not lump us all together, nor should he. Don’t our Islam following brothers and sisters deserve the same respect? I think Stanley Fish of the New York Times said it best.

“The formula is simple and foolproof: If the bad act is committed by a member of a group you wish to demonize, attribute it to a community or a religion and not to the individual. if the bad act is committed by someone whose profile, interests and agendas are uncomfortably close to your own, detach the malefactor from everything that is going and characterize him as a one-off, non-generalizable phenomenon.”

I think what upsets me most is that this is just the latest in long line of examples of an anti Islamic sentiment in this country. From mosques being criticized and labeled as terrorist training camps to stabbing of cab drivers it has reached a boiling point. The sad part is these are the people who proclaim themselves to be most American, choosing to forget that this country was founded as a refuge from religious persecution. That whether you agree or not, man has the right to choose what brings him peace. Muslims could judge us for the actions of Adolf Hitler or Timothy McVeigh, but we aren’t.

Every group, no matter who you are has an insane person in it. Usually it leads to a lot of talk, but every so often a tragedy occurs because of that person’s insanity. You can’t blame an entire culture for the actions of one disturbed person.

Truth.

My opinion on the subject everyone has been talking about

Over the past few weeks there has been a downright disgusting turn in the American discourse regarding a certain hot topic and regarding a certain person in our American family. The person I am referring to is Michael Jordan and the topic is of course mustaches. That’s right mustaches.


Recently my favorite basketball player has come under a little bit of scrutiny for his stache. Why you may be asking. Because his mustache is of the Charlie Chaplin variety. That’s right the Charlie Chaplin mustache. I am taking it back from those have chosen to give that facial hair style a negative stigma just because a certain murderous dictator decided to rock the same style. Why should one hair choice be demonized because one homicidal douchebag decided to make some reprehensible decisions that affected so many people.

The bald white guy look isn’t referred to as the Mussolini, if so we never would have had the delightful career of one Bruce Willis, Jason Statham or the most critically acclaimed actor of them all Stone Cold Steve Austin. The chubby Asian man isn’t demonized because of Pol Pot. Had it been would we be enjoying the enchanting performance by Ken Jeong every week on Community? (NBC, Thursdays this fall!) I think not.

So due to this I have decided to call this glorious piece of facial hair the “Charlie Chaplin” from the delightful silent film star. That’s right, Chaplin came to national prominence before the Austrian ass clown and unfairly has had his mustache choice du jour demonized ever since his rise to power. And in memory of the actor I am taking back the facial hair that he so resplendently made famous and not some dick who was a coward and flunked out of art school.


I’ll end by saying this, Brett Favre you can go and suck it.