Thursday, July 28, 2016

A Scheduled Break From The Pain of 2016

2016 for the most part has been an unrelenting garbage fire which has caused me much rage, anguish, sadness and any other negative emotion that can be attached to any given year. I have sat down and in my drafts folder there sits no more the five expletive laden pieces that should probably breathe a bit before I’m comfortable posting them. In lieu of posting something that idiots will call divisive I am going to do more of a self-care piece and if you disagree then I will physically fight you!  Today I present to you, my favorite tv characters of all time.

5. Roger the Alien: American Dad
You’d be hard pressed to find a more ridiculous and evil character than Roger. With his costumes and many personas the highlight of any episode of American Dad is the extra-terrestrial who resides in the Smith family attic. From dastardly personas such as Ricky Spanish to flat out being evil and sacrificing someone else to a life of space imprisonment he can truly be the worst. But he can do this:

4.  Rick Sanchez: Rick and Morty

The perpetually drunk grandfather of two who just happens to be a genius that has mastered interstellar space travel is indeed an awful man. He does have his moments where he shows some love for his family but for the most part his insults flow like the liquor from his never ending flask.

3.  Phil Coulson: Agents of Shield
 Don’t get all nitpicky and talk about how he’s a character from the movies, I know that. But for the purpose of my list he’s a tv character so suck it. The heart and soul of the Marvel universe, Coulson is currently the head of SHIELD and he is expertly played by Clark Gregg. Seriously, I defy you to find an actor better suited for this role on tv right now.He expertly is able to toe the line between being the authoritative voice his team needs without becoming the douchebag boss that everyone hates.

2. Bunk Moreland: The Wire
This strictly suit and tie wearing detective from Baltimore was a consistent and might I add hilarious voice of reason. Wendell Pierce absolutely nails the role. Not to mention he is arguably the most quotable character on a very quotable show. For all the funny he provided he also like the number one man on our list had a code, a sense of honor that was quite admirable in a shitshow of a police department. How he dressed down Omar after seeing children pretending to be the stick up man may be my favorite Bunk moment.

"As rough as that neighborhood could be, we had us a community. Nobody, no victim, who didn't matter. And now all we got is bodies, and predatory motherfuckers like you. And out where that girl fell, I saw kids acting like Omar, calling you by name, glorifying your ass. Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell. "   

Or this one:

1. Omar: The Wire 
And now we have arrived at my favorite tv character of all time. The notorious stick up man from The Wire.  Arguably the most badass character on the show, he was also nuanced. Someone entrenched in the street life of being feared by all who saw him, but also openly gay. A man willing to kill if need be but went to church with his grandmother once a month. Check out his showdown with Brother Mouzone and tell me I'm wrong to have him at the top of my list.

Well there you have it. Enjoy this lighthearted trip into my favorite tv characters as I am sure something trash is on the horizon to anger me and post on of my profanity laced tirades that will inevitably get me a call from my mother to watch my mouth.

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