Friday, August 17, 2012

The Chocolate Puma's Guide To Dominating Fantasy Football!

As my girlfriend can attest I am probably one of the coolest any of the people reading this will ever meet. It is in this vein of coolness that I offer you fantasy football advice. Yes, the Chocolate Puma, the man who has been a runner up in 3 out of 25 fantasy leagues is willing to impart some of his wisdom. You’re welcome!

1. Aaron Rodgers: Green Bay
It pains me to put this guy as the top quarterback in fantasy but I got to. This guy was downright ridiculous last year throwing for over 4,600 yards, 45 touchdowns and also ran for over 250 yards and 3 touchdowns on the ground.

2. Drew Brees: New Orleans
Brees is kind of a bum, I mean he only threw for 5,400 yards, 46 touchdown passes, and had a passer rating of over 110. Yeah.

3. Tom Brady: New England 

Yeah...this guy is an elite quarterback
Another person it pains me to put on this list but damn it Brady always burns me when I bet against him. Threw for 5,200 yards, 39 touchdowns and he has Rob Gronkowski, Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez. Not some bad options.

Running Backs:

1. Ray Rice: Baltimore

Many people don’t realize the monster season he had last year but oh I did. Rushing for over 1,300 yards had over 700 yards receiving and a total of 15 touchdowns. Not bad.

2. Arian Foster: Houston

In only 13 games last year he racked up over 1,900 total yards and scored 12 touchdowns. Given Houston’s run heavy game plan he would be a very wise pick up.

3. Matt Forte: Chicago

Since coming into the league I would argue he has been the most versatile back in the league. Given how terrible our O-Line is here in Chicago he has also become a very capable receiver. Expect his receptions to drop but yards to pick up as the Bears now have a legitimate # 1 receiver.

Wide Receivers:

1. Calvin Johnson: Detroit

Why? Because he’s Megatron, that’s why.

2. Larry Fitzgerald: Arizona

Arguably the best receiver in the game when he has a quarterback who can get him the ball and a top 3 when he doesn’t. No one in the league can drag their toes on that sideline throw like Young Mr. Fitz.

3. Wes Welker: New England

A quality receiver in a pass first offense that had 122 catches last season. Even if he has a little drop off he is still a 100 reception receiver.

Tight Ends:

1. Rob Gronkowski: New England

Holy hell did the Gronk put it together last season. And with the lack of a running game in New England expect the numbers to continue to rise, maybe not 18 touchdowns but receptions and yardage definitely.

2. Jimmy Graham: New Orleans

Everything I said about Gronkowski could easily apply here as well. Led the league with 149 targets last year so expect that to continue and Graham had six catches, 75 yards and/or one touchdown 14 times—tops among all NFL tight ends.

3. Vernon Davis: San Francisco
"It's an honor to be in the Chocolate Puma's Top 3!!!"
Seven times last season he had six catches, 75 yards and/or one touchdown. Not to mention being the only red zone target essentially for Alex Smith he is always a viable candidate. I am sure Randy Moss will cut into that a little bit but not so much he slides out my top 3.

Team Defenses:

1. San Francisco 49ers

2. Houston Texans

3. Pittsburgh Steelers

Well gang follow this advice and maybe one day you too can be a runner up in a fantasy football league once every 8 leagues. Man is my lady friend lucky.

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