Friday, May 31, 2013

Open Letter to A Crotchety Old Man

Dear Barry Prismall,
First and foremost allow me to introduce myself, I am the Chocolate Puma and I gotta say your introduction to me could not have been a more unpleasant experience. I happened to be perusing the interwebs and came across a let’s call it “written” piece you posted about hip hop music. I put written in quotations because your work comes across as spewed after a drunken viewing of Chief Keef and Wacka Flocka Flame videos on BET uncut. I don’t even know where to begin with this broad, generalizing, and frankly uninformed rant against my favorite genre of music. Yes Mr. Prismall hip-hop is music.

First let’s start with your idea that of all the modern musicians today the only one worthy of your time is Pink. I’m sorry what?
Missundastood because she so deep.
 No disrespect to Pink but “Nah nah nah nah, I’m gonna start a fight” is not what one would call deep. Artists like Adele, James Blake, Killer Mike, and so on and so forth are equally worthy of your time, which you obviously don’t use researching the cultures you seem to love to slam.

Secondly, so because your daughter is young, and doesn’t listen to modern music is support that modern music is crap? Maybe your daughter has shitty taste in music? Again I say all this with respect.

You didn’t stop there even though you should have seen the Dom Deluise sized flaws in your agrgument. “Rap is an asylum for slightly agitated nobodies, getting restless with their limbs and getting intense and rich on a one-sided, egotistical conversation. Since when did a heavily choreographed troupe with a provocative dance routine and a heavily tattooed commentator ever properly illustrate a song?”

Really Prissy (Can I call you Prissy)? I am pretty sure you have not listened to well any hip-hop or any other genre of music because in your limited and small world you have yet to evolve to the point to accept that as music evolves it will sound different. You may not like it, you may like it, but I assure you sir that change is good. Hell even one of your favorite artists Bob Dylan is a fan. “These guys weren't standing around bullshitting... They were beating drums, tearing it up, hurling horses over cliffs. They were all poets and knew what was going on.” Yowza, I bet your face is red.

So I hope I have enlightened you but I am sure you’ll turn up the Knights in White Satin and tell me to get off your lawn so I’ll leave you with the words of Mr. Michael Ritter, you’d know him as Killer Mike if you did any research.

“I've never really had a religious experience, in a religious place. Closest I've ever come to seeing or feeling God is listening to rap music. Rap music is my religion. Amen”

“This is jazz, this is funk, this is soul, this is gospel, this is sanctified sex, this is player Pentecostal. This is church; front, pew, amen, pulpit, what my people need and the opposite of bullshit.”


No comments: