Valentines Day is coming up which leads all of us who are living the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle to take stock of our romantic lives and wonder is it time for us to settle down, or in some cases we ponder those whom for some reason we have let escape from our lives. Here is the tale of a delicate flower who slipped out of my life almost as soon as she entered.
The night was one like many I have experienced before when I left my apartment. There was a chill in the air; the promise of good times with friends, and of course the uncertainty of meeting new people. The night went mostly as planned. I had a few beers with friends, talked football, and generally laughed and talked as I usually do. The night grew late and I decided the time had arrived for me to leave the party. I bid adieu to my friends and went outside to hail a cab…that’s when my life changed.
I stood in the busy Chicago street when I saw her, a delicate flower stumbling out of a bar, no doubt celebrating some momentous occasion in her life. I stood there, perhaps frozen by her grace and beauty as she proclaimed to the darkness of the night, “I’m soooooo drunk!” I of course naturally assumed that someone of her refinement and elegance was married or at the very least betrothed. I of course was wrong as she sauntered toward me and said the words that any lovesick young man wants to hear from a potential bride. “So,” she slurred saucily, “who’s man are you?” Awestruck, all I could do was stammer and stare blankly. At that very moment a cab pulled up and I was spared any further embarrassment. But being the true angel she was she hopped in the cab as well.
As the cab pulled away I let it be known where I live and she appeared to be cool. I assumed she lived in the area and said nothing further. We arrived at my stop; I jumped out of the cab, yet this delightful seraph followed me and informed me that she felt quite drawn to me. I was flattered, but felt at the time I was not worthy of a woman of her magnitude. I sheepishly explained this, as I spoke she swayed with the wind, her balance dwindling, and then it happened She closed her eyes and out flowed a torrent of vomit in the Chicago street. “Whoa! That was intense!” was her reply. She was right, the greatness that stood before me and subsequently vomited in front me was too intense for me, nay any man to withstand. I called her a cab and saw her go away into the night.
Maybe one day my sweet drunken and off balance queen will return to me. Until then all I can do is lament this lost opportunity.
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