Friday, January 30, 2009

An Open Letter to Evan Rachel Wood

Dear Evan Rachel Wood,
Hi, big fan ever since I saw you in the very disturbing and frightening realistic look into the lives of the young children today in Thirteen. Very riveting, in all honesty I feel that you could be one of the finest actresses of your generation. You are also one of the prettiest young ladies out there as well. Which is why it pains me to say this, I think you are making a horrible mistake. Allow me to clarify, if the rumors are true you were seen making out with one Mickey Rourke. This wouldn't be nearly as disturbing if your former beau was none other than Marilyn Manson. Now since Rourke is a former boxer we shall do a tale of the tape.


Ahhhhh! Who's next, this guy...

It's a trap!

Look, I'm just saying, you're a beautiful young lady. There is no need for you to be hooking up with dudes whose face look like leather stretched over someone's knee...and then stitched up to hell. How about a handsome gentleman of leisure of the chocolate variety?

I await your call.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A little bit of truth

While yesterday was a great day, let me go ahead and say to the many who believe the line "now black men have no excuses." Was there an excuse before? I didn't need to see someone who looked like me to want to work hard and try and pursue a dream. If you look to others to push you to do something there's a problem with that line of thinking. I grew up in Mississippi where the only thing I was told for the most part is that your best shot at success will come from glory on the athletic fields. I didn't believe it then, and while yesterday was inspiring, possibly the most inspiring thing I have ever seen, it doesn't make me go "well, now I can finally come up with a dream." I had goals before Obama was president and I will after his term (terms?) have passed. Maybe it's just me, but I think if we hold ourselves, and in this case our young men apparently since we (meaning men) are the ills of society to some people, we will have more young men ascending to heights never before reached. When I was a kid, my mom and older sisters never looked at me and said go work on your jumper, although maybe they should have then I wouldn't embarrass teammates due to an inefficient jumper, but I digress. They implored me to do what I loved, and while I have yet to achieve the level of success I dream of, the dream is there and I strive toward it regardless of who the commander in chief happens to be.

Maybe this whole rant doesn't make any sense but the time to stop making excuses and change the hand you were dealt was a long time ago. And if some of us are just realizing that, I am truly a little saddened during this happy time.

I am the Chocolate Puma and I approve this message.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rahm F#@$%^*@ Emanuel

Please let his first press conference as Chief of Staff be this awesome.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A letter to Bobby Rush

Dear Bobby,

First let me begin this by saying I am a long time admirer of yours. You have done so much good work for the people of Illinois especially the African Americans. You helped pioneer the Free Medical Clinic which developed the first mass sickle cell testing program. You helped start the Illinois chapter of the Black Panthers. He was even a member of SNCC, the Student Non Violent Coordinating Committee during the late 60s. Basically you have devoted your adult life to the advancement of African Americans.

But this time, you're wrong.

Your shameless playing of the race card in the nomination of Roland Burris for Barack Obama's senate seat is just flat out disappointing. This is not about Roland Burris' race. This is about the man who appointed Roland Burris. There is no way that any person who has been accused of attempting to sell the senate seat that Mr. Burris has been appointed to should have the right to make that appointment. No one is questioning the credentials of Burris, their questioning the moral authority of the "honorable" Gov. Blagoevich.

Do I agree that we need African Americans in the senate? Yes. Do I think they need to be appointed or elected with the full faith of the people? Yes. In this case anyone Blago appointed was doomed to be seen as tainted. And that's not a black and white issue, that just is what it is.