I Will Not Let Let These Go

You know I have been know to go on rants from time to time, sometimes on things that are trivial and quite mundane. Well I have something very important to write about, something that in these uncertain times we need to address. I refer of course to plot holes in the animated film Frozen. Why now you may be asking? Well my son has made me watch this movie probably 50 times in the last month and your boy always has a few questions.

* In the opening credits, a young Kristoff and Sven are out with the ice harvesters. 

Ya'll look real happy for someone about to be abandoned.

Pretty catchy scene right? Well if you notice, as Kristoff dangerously tries to get ice out of the water and on his sled, were those grown men just going to leave them out there if they didn't get the ice out in time? They were just going to abandon them weren't they? How else were they so easily adopted by the trolls. God bless those trolls. 

*After Anna gets hit in the face by Elsa's errant ice blast, her father races in and says I know where we have to go! 

"I had no idea where we were going."

They then proceed to go into the library and basically look up who can help and then have to yellow page directions to the trolls. Uh, that means you didn't know where you have to go! A slight thing to nitpick but then again this whole post is a grown man nitpicking a children's movie.

* After Elsa goes all crazy, Anna rides off after her. We can all agree that's pretty heroic. What preceded that heroic act was an act of sheer stupidity. She leaves Prince Hans in charge.

You CAN NOT trust an herb like this. He got mutton chops! 

The man she met that same day and hasn't been there long enough to even know where the damn bathrooms are. Come on Anna! You mean to tell me there wasn't a single adviser that helped raise you that you trust? 

*Anna buys a new dress and equipment at Oaken's Trading Post. How the hell did she pay for this? Did she always carry some cash on her?  I'm sure she didn't think she would have to go out on a midnight horse run to save her subzero sister. 

*In the end when Anna punches Hans in the face because shocker, dudes you just met that day with mutton chops can't be trusted, everyone cheers. Why is everyone cheering?

The audience knows he is a dickbag but the people of the kingdom should love this guy. He was handing out turkeys like Nino Brown in New Jack City! Also I am fairly certain that was the first Nino Brown/Frozen reference ever made! 

Alright well I think that's enough of this sweet pontificating. Tune in next time when this old curmudgeon goes all old man on something else the youth love.

Live look at me typing this.

Until next time, ya'll be easy. Peace.