Monday, April 30, 2012

I Can't Not Laugh At This

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The 3rd Annual Chocolate Puma Awards (NBA Edition)

My goodness what a load of craziness this past NBA season has been. Now as it winds down it is time for your favorite basketball fiend to give out his awards. So without further ado I present to you, the 3rd annual Chocolate Puma Awards (NBA edition).

The 6th Man of the Year aka The Ernie Isley Award:
James Harden, G : Oklahoma City Thunder- Before he was the victim of a Metta World Peace elbow he was the top scoring option off the bench for one of the league’s elite young teams. Averaging a shade under 17 points a game to go along with over 3.7 assists per game and 4 rebounds per game the bearded one would be a starter on most squads.

Rookie of the Year aka The Thomas Ian Nicholas Award (Google him)
Kyrie Irving, G: Cleveland Cavaliers- Did the electrifying guard from Duke make Cavs fans forget about Lebron? No. But he did give them reason to not abandon all hope for the future. I was wrong in my assessment he was going to be awful this season, although a lot of my initial observations were clouded by my hatred of Duke.

Most Improved Player of the Year aka The Leonardo Dicaprio Award
Much better representation of Bynum.
Andrew Bynum, C: LA Lakers- Yes like Dicaprio in ‘The Beach’ Bynum wasn’t awful but he certainly wasn’t anything to write home about. But like Dicaprio in ‘Inception’ he took his game to new heights improving his scoring by 7 points per game, rebounding by 3 per game and making the All-Star team. And to those screaming Jeremy Lin, shut up. Lin never got a chance to play before so he had nothing to improve upon.

Coach of the Year aka The Steven Soderberg Award
Greg Popovich: San Antonio Spurs- Who had the Spurs as the number one seed before the season began, raise your hand. I’ll wait. Nobody? Wow. He has taken a team with a few old guys, a bunch of young guys and masterfully balanced the hectic schedule resting the older players and getting the younger guys needed experience.
All Puma Squad: 1st Team                                             All Puma 2nd Team
PG: Chris Paul                                                              Tony Parker
SG: Kobe Bryant                                                          Dwayne Wade
SF: Lebron James                                                         Kevin Durant
PF: Kevin Love                                                             Blake Griffin
C: Dwight Howard                                                        Andrew Bynum

And now gang the moment you have all been waiting for. 


Lebron James, SF: Miami Heat- This one pains me. I dislike the Miami Heat like no team in recent history and Lebron? Ugh. But damn it I gotta give props where it’s due. People can knock this guy for not taking over in the last minute but what they fail to bring up is that he has been giving it to his opponent for about 37-40 min at that point. A dominant scorer, pretty good on the glass and can guard anyone from a point guard to a power forward. A douche, but the most valuable player of the 2011-12 NBA season he most definitely is.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Randomness Has Returned!

Oh goodness, it has been a while since I sat down and blogged for the delight of the tens of people whom I pester on a daily basis. Well gang buck up, your fearless leader (not counting clowns) is back and ready to give you all what you crave. Random, rambling and at time incoherent observations of random things! Here we go kids:

•The NCAA may be my favorite hypocrites on the face of the planet. After securing a contract that will net them billions of dollars off of college basketball alone the faux outrage over Kentucky winning the National Championship with players who were “one and done” is laughable. So let me get this straight, they play by your rules, make you money, but when they leave to make money for themselves then the integrity of the game is being threatened? Save that please. And for the record this is the first and only team with freshmen and sophomores mostly to win a national title. Calm the hell down.

•While I am on the subject of the NCAA, how about we tell Bo Ryan to calm the fuck down as well. I usually like Bo Ryan, even though his teams are boring as watching paint dry there is no denying on an x and o level this guy can coach with the best of them. But he’s dead wrong on this one. See he has blocked the transfer of a student athlete to over 25 schools. What makes this so funny is nobody blocked his decision when he skipped out after UW-Whitewater after 2 seasons not fulfilling his commitment. Just saying.

Go to a school where you're happy? Nah.

•John Mulaney is a funny mofo. Also just saying.

•So Kim Kardashian wants to be mayor of Gelendale, California eh? Well I mean no other candidate has the experience she has. How many other candidates can say they blew a failed R&B singer on tape?

•I find it funny some conservative groups are attacking Barack Obama because as a child he ate dog meat. Uh as children we eat some messed up stuff. Worms, glue, basically anything but food. Also how is that worse than an adult Mitt Romney tying a dog to the roof of his car?

•Ted Nugent is an assface. That is all.

•Also I caught a lot of flack for putting Iman Shumpert and Kenneth Faried in my top five rookies before the season began. Never doubt the Puma is all I have to say.
Well that’s all I got for now, until next time this is your hero, signing off.