Monday, April 11, 2011
You know you my favorite right?
Not too many ballers can operate two phones at the same time!
This may be what some would describe as a bittersweet post. I have written numerous times about my beloved aunt whom anyone who knew her called PJ. Well two weeks ago my aunt who had fought so hard for so long lost her battle with cancer. For over 15 years it was a back and forth battle but finally she could take no more. In a situation like this the first emotion one automatically goes to is sadness, but not me.
Don’t get me wrong, losing PJ may be the single saddest moment of my life. She was a person who was always there for me with a sarcastic quip and reassuring phrases. More than anything the strength and dignity that she showed throughout her life, how she fought her battle, ultimately how she handled her impending mortality makes me so proud to have had someone as heroic as her in my life. She endured much pain and much mental anguish every trip to the doctor and she was always more concerned with how you were doing. No matter what trivial thing I was complaining about she had more on her shoulders than anyone in my life and yet she was still more concerned with how I could solve my measly issues. That is who she was. She was selfless. She was kind.
I find myself many times thinking back to the last time we spoke. It was Monday after she was admitted into the hospital. She looked frail, her eyes yellow, but her smile still lit up the room. She joked that her getting sick was all a part of her plan to get me to visit more. We laughed, and told each other a few more jokes and when the time for me to go had come I told her I loved her and she said the same. As I reached the door she called my name and as she said to me what she said to all of us as a running joke. “You know you my favorite right? Just don’t tell the others.” And she gave a wink and a smile.
I think of her every day, her jokes her smile and always expect a call from her every Tuesday which is when we used to talk. So this post is dedicated to you PJ, you were many things to many people. A mother, a grandmother, usher at church, and friend to many. But to me you were so much more, you were my PJ.