Season 1 Episode 15: "What's Beef"

In which the spirit of Festivus flows through me and I give you my loyal five listeners what I have a problem with. I promise there is no mention of the Popeye's chicken sandwich but baby it's always on my mind.

Any requests or Space Jam 11s in a size 12 please feel free to email me at thepumapod@gmail.com

November's Sit Your Ass Down Award

Oh its that time once again, the time where ya boy sits upon his throne of pettiness and decides, to much delight by you, my loyal tens of readers, who needs to have a damn seat. Now in the world at large there were no shortage of contenders, hell I could make Devin Nunes the recipient of this award for two months straight due to his shenanigans at the impeachment inquiry but I'm gonna take it to the world of sports for this one. Tiki Barber, huddle up, and sit your ass down! 

Pictured a consummate pro, also pictured Tiki Barber.

Now for those who are unfamiliar with one Tiki Barber he was the extremely likable running back from the New York Giants for a decade. He was extremely charismatic, even had a twin brother in the NFL and seemingly was the kind of guy you would want to look up to if you were in need of a role model who was a pro athlete. Then the wheels kind of came off the bus. So while his college sweetheart was laid up, pregnant with twins mind you, he announced he was leaving her...for an intern he met while working on the Today Show...an intern who had babysat his children. 

Now to make matters worse, in an interview with Sports Illustrated, he described hiding out in his agent Mark Lepselter's attic so he wouldn't get caught on his secret trysts. "Lep's Jewish, so it was kind of like a reverse Anne Frank thing." That's right, the man having an affair compared hiding with his lover to hide from Nazi forces! If you're looking for easily a top 5 most despicable statement ever, congratulations you found it! 

Now I bring all this up because Tiki decided to get his name back out there to the masses while on his radio show giving this hot take. "I commend Kaepernick for what he's done past couple of years, but God, he is unlikable and that's frustrating to me because he has so much talent"

Is this guy for real? The last person that should be talking about someone being unlikable is Tiki "I left my pregnant wife for the intern who babysat our children" Barber. Sorry I'm not good at coming up with witty nicknames. Anywhoo, are there ways you can criticize how Kap has handled WorkoutGate? Sure. Is basing it off likability by a man who you can easily google his infidelities the move? HELL NO. Tiki is so damn awful that he got his twin brother canceled just because they look alike. Ronde Barber ain't do shit but stay with his wife and play football and now that man gets relegated to the C-Team of announcing on Fox Football. 

Well folks, that's all I got. Until next time ya'll be easy. 

"The Ballot or the Bullet"

In which I give you the greatest gift one can give his loyal 5 listener nation...a podcast giving my unsolicited opinions on politics! Play it at dinner, I'm sure it won't cause any arguments!

Season 1 Episode 13 "Knuck If You Buck"

In which I contend that the Pacers and Pistons melee was the wildest sports story of our time and still take time to go off on the NFL.

Season 1 Episode 12" "This Game Is Rigged"

In which I laugh at the shameless need for applause by the tangerine in chief and rant about the NCAA...again. 

Season 1 Episode 11 "Pursuit To Be Happy, Only Laughing Like A Child"

"In which I state my allegiance to the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich and still find time to give the business to old school cats for dissing new school stories."

Executive produced by Julian Da Gawd.

October's Sit Your Ass Down Award

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left ya'll without some unasked for assessments of public figures that I deem to be ridiculous! And while that doesn't roll of the tongue like the verse it was inspired by, I do know that seeing those words has no doubt filled your hearts with joy because it means it is that time again, the time for me to hand over the golden Lazy Boy and kindly alert the winner of said furniture to grab a seat and sit that ass down.

As with this year there has been no shortage of contenders this month. But given I have been in a very sports-centric mood, Houston Astros front office! Get your ass up here and sit your ass down!

"So then I tells the broad I says..."

Yes the highly touted front office of the Astros that took them from perennial losers to potential dynasty level talent really exposed themselves as real scum bags recently. I suppose I should start at the beginning, so last season one of the best closers in all of baseball was charged with abusing his girlfriend. He was suspended for 75 games. The Astros while this asset was at its lowest value traded for him, and while not the best move from a PR standpoint, I get it. You were able to get an all star player at bargain bin prices and it's not your job to further punish after he went through his suspension.

The problem began with the Astros winning the ALCS and during the ensuing celebration, there were a few women reporters, who had been highly critical (rightly so) of the move in the locker room. Not making any statements, just observing the celebration. 

Astros Asst. GM (Probably)

It was during this time Assistant GM Brandon Taubman felt the proper thing to do was to go all Chad Bro Chill on the women reporters and yell "Thank God we got Osuna! I'm so fucking glad we got Osuna!" 

Ugh, so let me get this straight, you find the only three women in the clubhouse, then immediately taunt them with boasts about a man widely believed to be a domestic abuser completely unprovoked? And after the story broke they completely denied that it happened and basically called the women liars. But then to make it worse, after calling the account a lie, trying to discredit the women and defending Chad er I mean Brandon, they basically go....my bad that did happen. Then the front office talked about how they wanted to apologize to the women in question in a press conference attended by 

THE SAME WOMEN THEY CALLED LIARS. Apologize then you dipshits!  

So yes every single person in the damn Astros front office can take a seat. To date, I'm still not sure if the women reporters ever received a real apology. Alright that's all the rambling I got in me today, ya'll be easy.