Thursday, September 9, 2021

NFL Season Predictions of A Chocolate Variety

Hot damn, the NFL season is amongst us friends and for some dumb ass reason, your boy is excited. You see, this is that special time of year where I talk myself into thinking my beloved Chicago Bears are going to have a successful season this year then slowly descend into madness as they edge towards mediocrity. With all that said, I figured I would dust off the old quill and pen and give my predictions for the upcoming season. 


AFC North: Baltimore Ravens
AFC South: Tennessee Titans
AFC West : Kansas City Chiefs
AFC EAST: Buffalo Bills
Wildcard Teams: Cleveland Browns, Miami Dolphins, Indianapolis Colts

NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
NFC West: LA Rams
NFC East: Dallas Cowboys
Wildcard Teams: Seattle Seahawks, Chicago Bears, Arizona Cardinals

NFC MVP: Aaron Donald, DT, LA Rams

While most people are on the Matthew Stafford train, the most important 2 players on the Rams are on the defensive side of the ball. And with all due respect to Jalen Ramsey, he won't have the stats to propel him to an MVP season. And that's no knock against him, guys won't throw the ball his way, whereas you can't avoid Aaron Donald. Like Thanos, he is inevitable. 

AFC MVP: Patrick Mahomes, QB, Kansas City Chiefs
I know everyone wants to go ahead and throw dirt on the dominance of Patrick Mahomes, let me be the first to say that's an error if you think that way. While in the Super Bowl down to a line made up of scrap parts he ran for his life, the Chiefs devoted all off season to strengthening that line and with Eric Biennemy and Andy Reid scheming up plays, it's gonna be revenge season for all those who don't put respeck on his name.

NFC Rookie of the Year: Micah Parsons, LB, Dallas Cowboys
AFC Rookie of the Year:  Trevor Lawrence, QB, Jacksonville Jaguars

NFC Coach of the Year: Sean McVay, LA Rams
AFC Coach of the Year: Brian Flores, Miami Dolphins

NFC Defensive Player of the Year: Aaron Donald, DT, LA Rams
AFC Defensive Player of the Year: Myles Garrett, DE, Cleveland Browns

And the award that all teams should probably be paying attention to:
HIRE THIS PERSON IMMEDIATELY AWARD:
Louis By God Riddick.
Seriously. The fact that this guy isn't running someone's team right now is a damn crime. 

Well folks those are the hot picks, so in a few months when the season is over and you've won all the bets because you decided to listen to your boy, you're welcome is all I have to say.