October's Sit Your Ass Down Award

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left ya'll without some unasked for assessments of public figures that I deem to be ridiculous! And while that doesn't roll of the tongue like the verse it was inspired by, I do know that seeing those words has no doubt filled your hearts with joy because it means it is that time again, the time for me to hand over the golden Lazy Boy and kindly alert the winner of said furniture to grab a seat and sit that ass down.

As with this year there has been no shortage of contenders this month. But given I have been in a very sports-centric mood, Houston Astros front office! Get your ass up here and sit your ass down!

"So then I tells the broad I says..."

Yes the highly touted front office of the Astros that took them from perennial losers to potential dynasty level talent really exposed themselves as real scum bags recently. I suppose I should start at the beginning, so last season one of the best closers in all of baseball was charged with abusing his girlfriend. He was suspended for 75 games. The Astros while this asset was at its lowest value traded for him, and while not the best move from a PR standpoint, I get it. You were able to get an all star player at bargain bin prices and it's not your job to further punish after he went through his suspension.

The problem began with the Astros winning the ALCS and during the ensuing celebration, there were a few women reporters, who had been highly critical (rightly so) of the move in the locker room. Not making any statements, just observing the celebration. 

Astros Asst. GM (Probably)

It was during this time Assistant GM Brandon Taubman felt the proper thing to do was to go all Chad Bro Chill on the women reporters and yell "Thank God we got Osuna! I'm so fucking glad we got Osuna!" 

Ugh, so let me get this straight, you find the only three women in the clubhouse, then immediately taunt them with boasts about a man widely believed to be a domestic abuser completely unprovoked? And after the story broke they completely denied that it happened and basically called the women liars. But then to make it worse, after calling the account a lie, trying to discredit the women and defending Chad er I mean Brandon, they basically go....my bad that did happen. Then the front office talked about how they wanted to apologize to the women in question in a press conference attended by 

THE SAME WOMEN THEY CALLED LIARS. Apologize then you dipshits!  

So yes every single person in the damn Astros front office can take a seat. To date, I'm still not sure if the women reporters ever received a real apology. Alright that's all the rambling I got in me today, ya'll be easy.