Cool Like That

Baseball has returned in some capacity and I for one am excited. Not just because I no longer have to wake up at the crack of dawn to see Korean League Baseball just to get my fix for baseball. I had hopes coming into this season that baseball would get out of it's own way and let some personalities shine and just let guys be cool. So it is in that spirit I give you my favorite players growing up who were just cool.

Ozzie Smith, SS, St. Louis

I know it's weird to have anyone from St. Louis on this list but growing up there was no cooler shortstop than the Wizard of Oz. He couldn't really hit for power but he was so damn so smooth in the field that it didn't matter. The slender man who looked suspiciously like Frankie Beverly could get to any ball hit in the hole usually didn't matter who was running to first. They were as good as out. 

Andruw Jones, CF, Atlanta

During his hey day with the Braves Jim Edmonds got quite a bit of attention for his eye popping diving catches in center field. Andruw Jones however always seemed to be camped out under fly balls or just jogging to get under it. Because while Edmunds was constantly out of position, Jones was never out of position. He had such a positional awareness that there was no need for him have to go full tilt and dive most of the time, he was already there. And then throw in his power, few were as cool as Andruw Jones.

Barry Bonds, LF, San Francisco/Pittsburgh

Now if you're one of the "he used steroids, he can't be the GOAT" types you are not gonna like what i have to say. Barry Lamar Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time. Period. End of discussion. Everything he did, from the time he was in Pittsburgh to the end of his career in San Francisco was effortless. He is the all time home run king, lone member of the 500-500 club. That's 500 home runs and 500 stolen bases. Not to mention the sole owner of 17 other records. Go argue with your mama if you disagree, that's dope as hell.

Ken Griffey Jr., CF, Seattle

There is no player on the planet earth in any sport that comes close to being as cool as Michael Jordan. That man is Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball players historically are swag deficient, Griffey was dripping with it. He was charismatic, he hit for power, and if you don't think he had the prettiest swing in baseball history I do not trust and I will call the feds on you because clearly you are a terrorist.

Not to mention he has the greatest baseball shoes ever made with the Swingman. I'd argue it's the second dopest shoe behind the Allen Iverson's The Question. Not counting Jordans of course.

Well folks, there you have it. Back when baseball used to just let guys be cool. It's my hope that the game doesn't suck the joy out of young guys like Ronald Acuna, Juan Soto and Tim Anderson who all go out and actually play and have fun instead of treating it like you are at a seminar for tax actuaries like the St. Louis Cardinals.

Return of The Puma

Hot diggity damn, it has been a minute people. How the hell have we been people? Took a bit of a hiatus from writing regularly because the world is a damn dumpster fire. Given that I am going to take a few moments just to discuss some things that have been quite annoying to me. Because damn it the people demand to know what is grinding my gears at this moment. It's what my loyal 10s of readers need in these uncertain times! So without further adieu I give you the top 3 things that are annoying some people. 

It's me. I'm some people. 

3. Cancel Culture

I keep seeing people talk about PC Culture and how sensitive everyone is and how we "cancel" people over innocuous things. First of all, no one gets cancelled. No one. Not a single person. You know how I know? 

Because Mel Gibson is still a thing.  Here are just some of his greatest hits:

-"You go out in public and it's a fucking embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking bitch on heat and if you get raped by a pack of niggers it will be your fault." This was said to the mother of his child.

- After getting pulled over for a DUI he called a cop "Sugar Tits."

-Referred to Winona Ryder, who is Jewish as "an oven dodger."

How has he been cancelled? Let me check my notes...ah yes, starred in 12 movies, produced one and directed 2 more. If this trash ass human can thrive, there is no cancel culture. Period. People not rocking with you because you did some dumb or racist or anti Semitic shit ain't getting cancelled, it's answering for the shit you did. 

2. People Who Just Found Out Bobby Caldwell is White

Bobby Caldwell is a singer who rose to fame in the late 70s with his hit "What You Won't Do For Love." And despite never claiming to be anything else, every few months a rash of tweets and Facebook statuses with the same sentiment arises. "Wait? Bobby Caldwell is white?!" Yes. He has always been, and never in one of those Jon B. he definitely got a black barber way either. This dude is white, white. 

Not sure why this annoys me but it does.

1. People that are still shocked that racists are gonna racist. 

Yeah, every time some Karen or Chad has a meltdown and yells nigga a bunch of times or calls the police when a black person double dips a chip there is a large contingent of people who are absolutely appalled. "I just can't believe someone would do that!" Really? Because I can! Am I such a pessimist that in most cases I kind of assume the worst and let them prove me wrong? That way it's a welcome surprise if they are a decent human instead of a crushing blow. 

Well there you have it folks, nobody gets cancelled, Bobby Caldwell is white and racist people suck. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 

Until next time ya'll be easy.