A Lesson in Grace and Humility...

It has been two weeks and I have been struggling with my feelings on the election. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy Donald Trump lost, but I am also concerned on a few fronts. How could so many of our fellow Americans choose to vote for this man? And now that he has lost shouldn't we extend grace and love to those who have fallen to the point of voting for a man who is clearly a grifter? Shouldn't in the face of victory we show humbleness and set an example to Trump and his associates how we as a nation....

Ok, first and foremost, when it comes to Donald Trump and his associates, fuck him and them as a staff, record label and as a motherfucking crew. We are supposed to open our arms and extend grace to a group who literally would not piss on you if you were on fire? Oh no no no no no no baby. Your boy here is going to flame, roast, flambee, insult and verbally bitch slap these idiots who willfully and with great malice took it upon themselves to enact some of the most hateful and spiteful laws and jam the courts with people WOEFULLY unqualified to rule over a damn wet t-shirt contest. People who are openly racist, and peddle shitty theories like black people could advance if they wanted it more, calling nations shit hole countries, and much worse. These people are not worthy of grace, and while we know they won't truly be socially cancelled as they should be and they'll be on tv as talking heads sooner rather than later, the absolute least we can do is publicly shame these idiots. 

As for people who voted for this bullshit human and his bullshit brigade, you getting this work too. One of the common reasons I have heard for voting for this shit stain of mammal was "he's not a career politician." Uh...the job is for a fucking politician! You mean to tell me you'd get a brain surgery from a tax actuary just because he's not a career surgeon? Hell no! Just say you're one of two things. One, you're a racist and you dig his racist policies. or two, you're not racist but you're cool with racists which make you a shitty human. For four years we have heard about "liberal tears" when very real things such as having an Attorney General who ignored cases of police misconduct instead of diving deep and exposing these travesties like Eric Holder did with the Ferguson Report, or the increasing difficulty to even fucking vote in black and brown communities. So in the face of all of the roadblocks, YA'LL man went out there and got waxed. I will not forget those that voted that monster in office, and I damn sure am not forgiving any of ya'll. Ya'll really voted for a man with a whole ass Wikipedia page on his racism! That's fucking insane! 

So in summation, fuck Donald Trump, I'm glad he lost and no I will not be humble or show any grace or civility in the fact that I am happy he lost. 

Aight, I'm out. 

NBA Finals Preview

 Ah yes, tonight the NBA Finals kicks off and your boy has to say he is pleasantly pleased. I am so jaded by 2020 I had no faith that the bubble would work, let alone to get to a point where we would be crowning an NBA champion. And after an exciting playoffs seeing the demise of Brett Brown in Philadelphia, and epic collapse by the Clippers and an ascension by Jamal Murray and the Denver Nuggets we have reached the final two. 

Point Guard:

Miami is going to bring out Goran Dragic to run the point against the Lakers. And while he isn't the deadliest 3 point shooter you can always count on him and his solid and efficient mid range game to get you at least 15-20 points per night. Kendrick Nunn should also have a better series than he did against the Celtics. Meanwhile the Lakers are bringing out Rajon Rondo and Alex Caruso, bringing both good defense, a wealth of knowledge from Rondo and hustle from Caruso I can't pick who has the advantage. 

Advantage: Draw

Shooting Guard:

The Lakers have the most unintentionally hilarious group at shooting guard it's ridiculous. First you got Dion Waiters who in his mind believes he is the baddest man on the court at all times. Then you have JR Smith who may be either the highest or most confused man on the planet and you have pure hilarity. Danny Green and Kentavious Calwdwell Pope round out the position and compared to the other two are damn Rhode scholars. The Heat have the stories of the bubble with the inspired play of Duncan Robinson and the wildly entertaining Tyler Herro. Better shooters, Herro is rebounding and passing extremely well, so I am gonna roll with the hot hand.

Advantage: Miami 

Small Forward: 

This is the undercard to the main event here. The Lakers have the man who has a statistical claim to be the GOAT starting at small forward and he is playing like a man possessed. In a close out game in his 16th season he casually dropped a 38 point, 16 rebound, 10 assist triple double in 40 minutes. While Miami has someone I am familiar with, Jimmy Butler leading the way. He has played great defense, provided some tough baskets and apparently selling coffee at $20 a cup so that better be the best damn coffee ever. All of that said even with Jimmy Buckets and Anre Iguodala the advantage is clear. 

Advantage: Lakers

Power Forward:

So the Heat have been rolling out with Jae Crowder at power forward and while he is a very good 3 and D player to have, not sure if he is best suited at power forward. For some reason Kelly Olynk and Derrick Jones are not really seeing the floor so this is the clear weak spot for the Heat. The Lakers are bringing Markieff Morris and Kyle Kuzma. If ever there was a contrast of styles and personality this is it. Morris is famously about that action boss. Seriously. Google "Morris twins beat up..." and there will be MULTIPLE entries. Kyle Kuzma is a nice guy, just a bit corny. That said they have a pretty good rotation going here with contrasting styles that should keep the Heat off balance. Either that or I'm afraid of Markieff Morris if I doubt him.

Advantage: Lakers

Center:

Now the Heat have possibly the most intriguing player in the series to me in Bam Adebayo. He is one of the most athletically gifted big men to come out in the last few years. He can guard literally any position on the floor. And this season we saw his offensive game take a leap that has me quite excited to see how he progresses. On the other side we have the gold standard of NBA big men, Anthony Davis. 7 footers should not be able to do the things that he regularly does. Just last round he hit a step back three pointer fading away to win the game at the buzzer. WHAT?! He also happens to be one of the 2 or 3 best defensive players in the league. You add in the perpetually goofy Dwight Howard and JaVale McGee and as much as I love Bam, the Heat just won't have the size to contend with the Lakers.

Advantage: Lakers

Coaching:

I gotta give credit where credit is due. When Spoelstra took over as coach of the Heat I thought he was just Pat Riley's hand picked stooge. Boy was I wrong. He took a team with 3 of the best players in the league, managed those egos and got two championships out of it. Since LeBron's departure he has developed a team that was not expected to contend and even though he is using a zone defense which I don't agree with, the results are there. I think between he and Frank Vogel, Spoelstra is the better X's and O's coach of the two. However, it would take a hell of a 

Final Prediction:

I think the size and the fact the Lakers have the two best players on the floor by quite a margin is going to lead to the moment we all knew was coming. As Thanos said, dread it...run from it...destiny still arrives. 

Lakers in 6. 

Rage

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of rage almost, almost all of the time..."

James Baldwin said this in 1961 and 59 years years later that rage burns brighter than an Olympic flame. On September 23rd Attorney General of Kentucky Daniel Cameron and his grand jury decided that in the death of Breonna Taylor only charges of "wanton endangerment" because some of his bullets fired at Taylor and her boyfriend went into the adjoining apartment. To give some context, a class d felony includes such crimes as unauthorized use of a credit card and stalking. I just...I don't have the words. 

Louisville police from the get go, were operating on the shakiest of grounds. Apparently while investigating an ex-boyfriend, they believed her to be a part of a drug ring. Never mind the fact that she had no history with drugs. Ignoring that she was one of the first responders during a pandemic that people claimed they loved and respected so much. Never mind that the ex-boyfriend and focus of the investigation was in jail, they made the decision to bust in rocking plain clothes and got surprised someone shot at them. A man protecting himself and his girlfriend with his legal firearm, that's what 2nd amendment folks are always screaming about right? Well their silence is deafening and we all know why. 

I've seen so many excuse, just looking to blame a black woman for her own death it's disgusting. Let's just say for a moment, that everything being alleged is true. Does this make her worthy of death? From the constant changing of the narrative by Louisville PD to the convenient non use of body cams, their word is quite shit. They can't be believed. Hell, the ex boyfriend who is the drug dealer has since become a more credible source than the police at this point. When he was offered a deal to say she was involved and he rejected it, when it was to his benefit to do so, said all I needed to see. And if this was the shady den of a drug mistress, why was her family awarded 12 million dollars in a wrongful death suit. Are you telling me some wrongdoing caused her death but no one can be punished for said wrong doing?

I'm filled with rage, righteously so in my opinion, as the Attorney General stands up there with disingenuous tears welling in his eyes. Speaking how he feels the pain, and about his experiences as a black man which came across as hollow as he ignored those feelings of pain if they were ever there. He firmly planted himself at feet of Mitch McConnell and sold his soul for the opportunity to be Mitch's go to guy.  The lacky for a turtle faced hypocrite hellbent on being the ultimate power broker in American politics. 

I struggle with finding optimism some days, but that state of rage that Baldwin spoke of all those years ago is never ending. 

Death is not the end. It’s more of a... stepping off point

Celebrity deaths don't usually hit me hard. There is a general sadness of course that someone has left behind family members, friends and what not but in general if I didn't know them rarely does it bring a tear to my eye.

With the sudden passing of Chadwick Boseman I have been hit with such an astonishing level of grief that it's hard to put into word. I knew him only through movies and interviews but  he was so much more than an actor to me, and to black people in general. 

I came to really follow his work after it was announced that he would portray Black Panther on the big screen. Now Black Panther is a character that is deeply personal to me for many reasons. The main reason being growing up there was such a lack of black superheroes and one day, I saw this character with the Fantastic Four. It was amazing. A black character that wasn't like a caricature of a pimp or something. Wasn't the butt of jokes or obviously made to be inferior to his white counterparts, he was a god damn king. I was convinced I would never see him on the big screen and given his proper due.

Chadwick Boseman has entered the chat! He took a role and a character that if we're being honest the masses had not been introduced to and took us on a journey. He completely owned the role to the point that if people saw him in the street, they gave him the Wakandan salute as the royalty that he was. 

He could have stopped right there but he proceeded to portray all of our heroes. Jackie Robinson, Thurgood Marshall, James Brown. To the point that the running joke was he was eventually going to portray every black person on the planet. 

The man was so immensely talented and making sure our heroes got their roses. The love and recognition that they deserved while they were here. And now he has joined the greats of the past without I feel ever getting his proper due. Maybe because we took him being on our screens  for granted, maybe because it's human nature not to appreciate greatness until it no longer walks amongst us.

So Mr. Boseman, forever king of Wakanda, I thank you. I thank you as the father of a young boy who LOVES Black Panther. Who wears his mask and will only answer you if you call him the Black Panther. I thank you for the 8 year old boy who got that comic in a Mississippi gas station, I thank you as the 35 year old man who giddily put on his Wakandan sweatshirt and showed up an hour before the movie started to see his hero. The solace that I can take from this however is that for as awesome as T'Challa is, the man behind the portrayal was was even more of a superhero than the Wakandan royalty he portrayed. When I declared it the movie of the decade this is how I felt: 

"I get chills when I think about Black Panther. Was it the cinematic masterpiece that some would expect from the movie of the decade? Probably not. You can even make the argument that it wasn't the best Marvel movie of the decade. But what it was, was this beautiful piece of blackness that we don't get to see enough of, and that representation matters baby. After seeing it opening night I wrote this:

"I...I don't even really have words for what I just saw. Thank you Marvel and thank you Ryan Coogler. That awkward 8 year old who got a copy of Fantastic Four with a black super hero in it from a gas station in Mississippi is so damn happy with what he saw tonight." "

So King, as you said in Black Panther, “Death is not the end. It’s more of a... stepping off point.”

Best Music Runs in Recent History

As I was driving into work a few days ago I had an internal monologue with myself. I said "Self...who has the best run of albums in your lifetime?" And for the life of me I couldn't come up with a definitive answer. I looked for some music writer who has sat down and reviewed the music and written a thoughtful look into what I thought was a pretty interesting query. Well then I had another internal conversation with myself. I said "self, people suck for the most part. You should write it because hey at least you'll like the writer of the list." Thus my dive into the music of my playlists, thoughts and twitter feed happened, and the following list was birthed. Enjoy. Or don't. It's a free country. 

Ludacris: Back for the First Time, Word of Mouf, Chicken N Beer.

There may not be a more entertaining rapper to me than Ludacris. An example of this? Why look no further than his song "Ho" from Back for the First Time. Is it problematic? You bet. That however does not take away from the sheer hilarity of the song to me. 

"Y'all professional like DJ Clue, pulling on my coat tail

An why do you think you take a ho to a hotel?
Hotel everybody, even the mayor
Reach up in the sky for the ho-zone layer"

"Ho" aside, you have What's Your Fantasy, Phat Rabbit, and the ultimate banger Southern Hospitality. Throw Word of Mouf and Chicken N Beer in and you have 3 albums with nary a skippable track. 

MVP Track of the Run: Stand Up

T.I.: Trap Muzik, Urban Legend, King

Tip catches a lot of hell for using big ass words almost as if he had a word of the day calendar and had to use the newfound vocabulary immediately. That said, I cam remember the first time I heard a single from Clifford. I was in the lounge of my dorm, BET was on and the video for Be Easy came on. From the moment you hear the piano and his southern drawl it was just this cool ass video with a rapping ass dude with a too big shirt on and a hat that somehow balanced on the side of his head like Adebisi from Oz (Google the character, not the show). The next album gives us U Don't Know, ASAP, and Bring Em Out. May not have been the music critic's fave or the darling of the backpack crowd but put on TIP and you'll be hard pressed to skip any tracks.

MVP Track of the Run: Be Easy

Kanye West: College Dropout, Late Registration, Graduation, 808s and Heartbreak, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

This one hurts to put on here. Because since their release dates Yeezy has become damn near unrecognizable. And a lot of my disappointment in the man comes from me projecting things onto him that he may not have felt himself. THAT said, his first five albums are as close to perfect production wise that I have heard. All Falls Down, Jesus Walks, Get Em High, Spaceship, Through the Wire and we haven't even gotten to Late Registration and Graduation which gave us Diamonds from Sierra Leone, Touch the Sky, Stronger, and on and on and on. We get to 808s and MBDTF, which were a change in his sound but gave us Love Lockdown, Paranoid, Heartless, Power, Devil in a New Dress and Flashing Lights, a song so good it played at my wedding. Numerous times.

MVP Track of the Run: Devil In A New Dress

Jay-Z: The Blueprint, The Blueprint 2, The Black Album

Jay-Z's best album to me, which if we're being honest is the only opinion that matters since I'm writing this was probably Reasonable Doubt. That said, the best run of albums for the Jigga Man was from the Blueprint to the Black Album. From the Blueprint when you say The Ruler's Back is the weakest track on an album, that's not a knock on the track, it just goes to show how damn amazing that album is! Then we get the Blueprint 2: The Gift and The Curse which successfully did something most double albums can't, and give us completely different moods and feelings on different discs. Not just a random assorting of songs just to fill out the cds. And what should have been his swan song, the Black Album. Just an amazing album, Change Clothes, Threat, 99 Problems, and if it had been his last album My First Song is probably the best damn send off of any artist regardless of genre. 

MVP Track of the Run: Takeover

Outkast: THE WHOLE DAMN DISCOGRAPHY

I tried to come up with what would be Outkast's run by album and I couldn't do it. You know why? Because everything they have put out is the hottest of fire. And if you disagree, go argue with your mama so she can tell you that you're an idiot too. Player's Ball, Southernplayalisticadilacmuzik, Elevators, Da Art of Storytelling, Rosa Parks, B.o.B, and I have barely cracked into their wallet of hits baby! I understand that music is subjective, and it's quality is determined by the listener. That said there are exceptions to every rule, and if one does not like Outkast, I do not trust you in the slightest. Andre was out here dressing in furry pants and shoulder pads and dropping hotter verses than anybody on this mortal coil. And Big Boi? If you look up "rapping ass bastard" in the dictionary it will be a picture of Antwan Patton. Because that is a rapping ass bastard. Every Kast album has it's own feel and sound that is nothing like the previous one. Hell, they don't even have singles that resemble each other! Diverse array of tracks? Check. Impeccable production? Check. Consistent verbal excellence? CHECK! 

MVP of the Run: Da Art of Storytellin' Feat. Slick Rick

Better than your favorites.

Well folks, there you have it, the unsolicited opinion of a man who often has long form conversations with himself during his commute. So let me know what your favorite run of albums may be, I realize mine are all hip-hop but damn it that's what I listen to. So until next post, ya'll be easy. Peace.

Thoughts and Takeaways from Bubble Ball!

 Oh man, while it looks like we won't be getting football but we have been able to enjoy the greatest sport in the entire world. That's right I said it. And while a few months back I didn't think that there would be an end to the season but credit to the NBA for taking things seriously, creating a bubble and quarantining so we get to enjoy some sense of normalcy. The playoffs have begun and while there have been a few upsets this post is going to be basically my awards and thoughts on everything leading up to the playoffs. Enjoy this free content my babies. 

* The Philadelphia 76ers need a new coach to ever get to the next level. 

I like Brett Brown, and definitely thought he deserved a chance to coach the team once they got good especially after he had to sit through the process. Since then though, this team has consistently not reached expectations despite having two of the most talented players in the league in Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. His insistence on not adjusting lineups to more shooter friendly lineups also is mind boggling. 

*The Houston Rockets are unwatchable.

I can't believe the refs missed another 3!

James Harden is a generational talent. There may not be a coach with a better offensive mind than Mike D'antoni. All that said, I hate watching the Rockets play basketball. There was one game where they took 60 three pointers. IN REGULATION! And what makes it worse, they are constant whiners. I'm not talking about on the court, I mean their front office once drafted a report and sent it to the league office to show missed calls cost them a playoff game. Conveniently overlooking the lead they blew and the 27 missed threes in a row. They may always blow it in the playoffs but they always leave with the most annoying award.

*Monty Williams is probably the most likable coach in the NBA.

One of the most surprising things during the restart was the Phoenix Suns going undefeated. And while the top level play of Devin Booker and Deandre Ayton were on display the thing that jumped out most to me? Guys really like Monty Williams. And not just guys who play for the Suns, just the way opposing players spoke so highly of the man, it was quite refreshing to see. 

*Michael Porter Jr. is going to be a problem

Coming out of college I wanted the Bulls to draft MPJ so bad. They didn't and I get it. Back injuries are a tricky thing to evaluate. However now that he is fully healthy he is giving Denver a wing scorer that they have never really had. Now if they can get him to stop with the anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theory shit, he could be a person I'd love to cheer for. 

All Bubble Team:

G-Damian Lillard, Portland Trail Blazers

G-Luka Doncic, Dallas Mavericks

G- James Harden, Houston Rockets

G- Devin Booker, Phoenix Suns

F- TJ Warren, Indiana Pacers

Coach of the Bubble: Monty Williams

The Suns went 8-0. Nothing else needs to be said now does it? 

Most Valuable Player of the Bubble: Damian Lillard

The worst decision anyone in the bubble made was when the Clippers pissed off Dame Lillard. He has been a man possessed since he missed free throws against them and caused the Clipper bench, particularly Pat Beverly and Paul George to just have a grand old time. That was not a wise move. He exploded for 51 points, then 61 points, then 42 points. This season, from 30 to 40 feet away, he hit 54 3 pointers at a 43% clip. In this moment, there is no more valuable player than Dame Lillard. I don't care how you decide it. 

Well folks there you have it. The return of basketball has been a joyous occasion for your boy and I have no idea who is going to win it all which makes it that much better. 

Until next time, ya'll be easy. Peace.

Sit Your Ass Down Award for Old Times Sake

Oh boy. This is one of the funniest damn things I have ever written about and I am probably not going to get through this without completely losing all composure. So over the weekend Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion released a delightful little ditty for the ladies. So you know that it had some of the more petulant man-children upset and clutching their pearls. The most prominent of those man-boys who caught the vapors for women daring to uh let's say boast about the quality of a tryst with them was Ben Shapiro.

Shapiro seen here with friends.

You might remember Ben Shapiro from such classics as complaining about Star Wars having too many women in it, and going on an unhinged rant saying he was going to "pick up a gun" if someone tried to indoctrinate his kids into a LGBT lifestyle. Never mind the fact he looks like he isn't even strong enough to pick up a gun. 

I'll get my gunnnnnn! 

The thought of two women making a song about them actually enjoying sex ruffled his feathers to the point that he read the lyrics and with the voice of a man who had never even accidentally given either himself or a woman any joy whatsoever, he preceded to kill any and all feelings of arousal and turned it into the funniest thing I've seen. He proudly boasted "as I also discussed on the show, my only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis." Wow. So one of two things is happening here. The first option is Shapiro and the Mrs. are both so unappealing that they actually believe this. Or the second, and frankly funnier option is his wife told him that the dryness was normal and she is hiding the truth from him and he is going to burst into his house and angrily shake his little baby hands at her while she tries not to laugh.

Mrs. Shapiro sitting and waiting for Benny to find out the truth.

And then to make this more annoying, we had a shit ton of dudes who are my age, going all Helen Lovejoy on us.

I speak directly to the men making these pleas, usually from the front seat of their car in an oddly abandoned parking lot, I implore you to please, and with all due respect...shut the hell up. We listened to Eminem in high school, and he was talking about decapitating his wife. Let the ladies have fun, lord knows they have earned it. Also the claims of "well I got a daughter and these girls look up to you." Stop bro. Don't depend on Cardi B to raise your daughter and be an example by not ridiculously criticizing something that clearly wasn't made for you. I'll never forget, my niece who was about 7 or so at the time, heard me bitching about some remake of a cartoon, and she told me "of course you don't like it, it wasn't made for you. Now leave me alone." And she was absolutely right. So fellas, with all due respect, it wasn't made for us, now leave these women alone and let them have fun.

Until next time, ya'll be easy.

Cool Like That

Baseball has returned in some capacity and I for one am excited. Not just because I no longer have to wake up at the crack of dawn to see Korean League Baseball just to get my fix for baseball. I had hopes coming into this season that baseball would get out of it's own way and let some personalities shine and just let guys be cool. So it is in that spirit I give you my favorite players growing up who were just cool.

Ozzie Smith, SS, St. Louis

I know it's weird to have anyone from St. Louis on this list but growing up there was no cooler shortstop than the Wizard of Oz. He couldn't really hit for power but he was so damn so smooth in the field that it didn't matter. The slender man who looked suspiciously like Frankie Beverly could get to any ball hit in the hole usually didn't matter who was running to first. They were as good as out. 

Andruw Jones, CF, Atlanta

During his hey day with the Braves Jim Edmonds got quite a bit of attention for his eye popping diving catches in center field. Andruw Jones however always seemed to be camped out under fly balls or just jogging to get under it. Because while Edmunds was constantly out of position, Jones was never out of position. He had such a positional awareness that there was no need for him have to go full tilt and dive most of the time, he was already there. And then throw in his power, few were as cool as Andruw Jones.

Barry Bonds, LF, San Francisco/Pittsburgh

Now if you're one of the "he used steroids, he can't be the GOAT" types you are not gonna like what i have to say. Barry Lamar Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time. Period. End of discussion. Everything he did, from the time he was in Pittsburgh to the end of his career in San Francisco was effortless. He is the all time home run king, lone member of the 500-500 club. That's 500 home runs and 500 stolen bases. Not to mention the sole owner of 17 other records. Go argue with your mama if you disagree, that's dope as hell.

Ken Griffey Jr., CF, Seattle

There is no player on the planet earth in any sport that comes close to being as cool as Michael Jordan. That man is Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball players historically are swag deficient, Griffey was dripping with it. He was charismatic, he hit for power, and if you don't think he had the prettiest swing in baseball history I do not trust and I will call the feds on you because clearly you are a terrorist.

Not to mention he has the greatest baseball shoes ever made with the Swingman. I'd argue it's the second dopest shoe behind the Allen Iverson's The Question. Not counting Jordans of course.

Well folks, there you have it. Back when baseball used to just let guys be cool. It's my hope that the game doesn't suck the joy out of young guys like Ronald Acuna, Juan Soto and Tim Anderson who all go out and actually play and have fun instead of treating it like you are at a seminar for tax actuaries like the St. Louis Cardinals.

Return of The Puma

Hot diggity damn, it has been a minute people. How the hell have we been people? Took a bit of a hiatus from writing regularly because the world is a damn dumpster fire. Given that I am going to take a few moments just to discuss some things that have been quite annoying to me. Because damn it the people demand to know what is grinding my gears at this moment. It's what my loyal 10s of readers need in these uncertain times! So without further adieu I give you the top 3 things that are annoying some people. 

It's me. I'm some people. 

3. Cancel Culture

I keep seeing people talk about PC Culture and how sensitive everyone is and how we "cancel" people over innocuous things. First of all, no one gets cancelled. No one. Not a single person. You know how I know? 

Because Mel Gibson is still a thing.  Here are just some of his greatest hits:

-"You go out in public and it's a fucking embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking bitch on heat and if you get raped by a pack of niggers it will be your fault." This was said to the mother of his child.

- After getting pulled over for a DUI he called a cop "Sugar Tits."

-Referred to Winona Ryder, who is Jewish as "an oven dodger."

How has he been cancelled? Let me check my notes...ah yes, starred in 12 movies, produced one and directed 2 more. If this trash ass human can thrive, there is no cancel culture. Period. People not rocking with you because you did some dumb or racist or anti Semitic shit ain't getting cancelled, it's answering for the shit you did. 

2. People Who Just Found Out Bobby Caldwell is White

Bobby Caldwell is a singer who rose to fame in the late 70s with his hit "What You Won't Do For Love." And despite never claiming to be anything else, every few months a rash of tweets and Facebook statuses with the same sentiment arises. "Wait? Bobby Caldwell is white?!" Yes. He has always been, and never in one of those Jon B. he definitely got a black barber way either. This dude is white, white. 

Not sure why this annoys me but it does.

1. People that are still shocked that racists are gonna racist. 

Yeah, every time some Karen or Chad has a meltdown and yells nigga a bunch of times or calls the police when a black person double dips a chip there is a large contingent of people who are absolutely appalled. "I just can't believe someone would do that!" Really? Because I can! Am I such a pessimist that in most cases I kind of assume the worst and let them prove me wrong? That way it's a welcome surprise if they are a decent human instead of a crushing blow. 

Well there you have it folks, nobody gets cancelled, Bobby Caldwell is white and racist people suck. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 

Until next time ya'll be easy. 

The Last Dance Parts 9 & 10

Well folks, the day we knew was coming but hoped wouldn't has come to our doorsteps. Yes the end of "The Last Dance."

It's been a great look into the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan, and while it has been criticized as being a propaganda piece for Michael Jordan, your boy does not give a damn. I feel like we got a look into one of the great dynasties in sports history through the cheesy hued eyes of it's best player. So without further ado, the final 5 takeaways from The Last Dance.

* We need more Steve Kerr content.
I had absolutely no idea about Steve Kerr and his father but man this guy had lived a LIFE before he even reached the NBA. Follow that up with becoming essentially the basketball version of Forest Gump, ya know minus the learning disability. He was a member of the greatest team ever, the 72 win Bulls, followed that with hitting game winning shots for the Spurs and getting two more titles.

Then he becomes a coach and wins 3 titles with the best team of this era. Also the guy is gold with the mic in front of him. Definitely a compelling and probably the most likable guy of the entire series.

* As annoying as Reggie Miller was/is/will be, that bastard was a killer.
Reggie Miller is a pest. He annoys the shit out of you and his voice at times is like nails on a chalkboard. On the court however? Yo. Reggie Miller was a damn killer. And while incorrect in his thought that he was gonna lead the team that vanquishes the Bulls, no other team got close in the 6 championship runs as the Pacers did.

When this Quark looking bastard was on...HE WAS ON. He could hit any shot he wanted over anyone. He's just so damn annoying.

* Flu game/Pizza game/Hangover game?
For years the story has been that Jordan caught the flu before one of the biggest games of the season and battled through. And while he did have some kind of sickness, he says it is due to food poisoning because he ate an entire pizza in one sitting. Mike. Sweetie. What the hell you doing?

Regardless of if he was hung over, had the flu or was really going through a case of food poisoning it's damn impressive. I have been in all three situations, and I wouldn't even want to leave the couch let alone go through an NBA finals game.

* When Rodman is off the clock, he is OFF THE CLOCK.
One of the great revelations of this series has been Dennis Rodman as a workplace hero. Earlier this series he asked for basically a mental health break and took 48 hours in Vegas with Carmen Electra which if we're being honest...I see the vision.

Now in the heat of a title run, he decided practice is not something I need right now. What I need is to go on Monday Night Nitro, join the NWO and then help assault Diamond Dallas Page. And while he was fined $10,000 for missing practice, he got $250,000 for going on Nitro. Chess, not checkers.

* Fuck Karl Malone as a staff, record label and a motherfuckin' crew.
My one big complaint about this series is that Karl Malone wasn't slandered enough. I do however take solace that on the biggest stage of his career he shat his pants twice. He bricked two free throws after Scottie Pippen told him "Mailman don't deliver on Sundays" and of course let MJ strip him on the final series of the Jazz season. I want to bottle that moment so I can sip on it like a fine wine.

There we have it. This was a series that I feel was made for me. I learned some things I didn't know, and I am further cements his GOAT status for me. However it's probably one of the more bias confirming docu-series of the last few years because if you hated Jordan you're gonna still hate him. If you loved him like I do, you're gonna love him more. I think more than anything I'm gonna miss logging on twitter at 9 pm every Sunday and with my internet pals, all joining together to slander Karl Malone.

Fuck that guy. He's the worst.

The Last Dance Parts 7 & 8

It's that time once again, when I your boy comes down from his cloud of nostalgic Chicago Bulls fandom and give you some of the takeaways from this weeks episodes of The Last Dance. And this one starts...heavy. I mean HEAVY.

*The death of James Jordan and it's fallout.
Alright this is the most tragic part of the episode obviously. What was most tragic to me is that before he could even put his father in the ground, there were rumors being reported as facts about his gambling being tied to his father's murder. I don't buy that for a single second.

First of all, if the mob or bookies are gonna send someone after you, they're not using two dumb 18 year olds who if caught would roll on everybody. Also, we know Jordan paid his debts. How do we know? There were certified checks to Slim Bouler paying his debts! You mean to tell me he will pay a Sam Jackson with a jheri curl wannabe but choose not to pay much more dangerous people for....reasons? Get out of here.

*MJ's baseball career.

Was Jordan's career a success? Not really but to me it was pretty impressive. Here we have a man who has been the greatest basketball player on the planet, quits and picks up a bat for the first time since high school and he didn't embarrass himself. He had 50 RBI, 30 stolen bases, and a 13 game hit streak. He only hit .200 but holy shit balls that is astonishing.

*The Orlando Magic were the shit.
During Jordan's return from baseball they were bounced from the playoffs by the upstart Orlando Magic. Now it's usually explained away by the Jordan was rusty narrative. Au contraire mon frère, the Magic were that shit. Dennis Scott, Nick Anderson, Brian Shaw, Horace Grant and lest we forget Shaq and Penny Hardaway.

Shaq was the most dominant big since Kareem and Penny was a dynamic guard who passed as well as anyone in the league and could score at will at times. Jordan even averaged over 30 that series. Gotta tip your cap, Magic were the better team.

*Scottie Pippen's disappointing 1.8 seconds.
I loved Scottie Pippen as a player, still do. But Scottie in this instance was wrong. It would be nice if the final play was drawn up for him but he was never a catch and shoot guy.

You know who was, and had been that season? Toni Kukoc. So I get the frustration but let's be real, Scottie probably doesn't hit that shot. Sometimes if you're the lead dog, you gotta know when to put the team in the best spot to win. In that moment, he failed.

*Scott Burrell, Ned Flanders of the NBA.
One of the funniest moments of the entire 2 episodes was the genuine befuddlement and slight disgust that MJ had with Scott Burrell.

Look at this nice bastard.

Not because of some character flaw or shitty game but because Burrell was as MJ put "just a nice guy." The idea of being nice was such a flaw to MJ on the path to greatness. So much so, that he actually gets emotional at the thought of players not giving a fuck to the level he gave a fuck.

Alright there we go, another week with me, giving you, my unsolicited opinion of the Bulls documentary which is probably not going to change anyone's minds but I think will provide some context. Next week the ride comes to an end, but who knows maybe your boy will do another statistical deep dive to give you, my loyal people the content you need.

The Last Dance: Part 5 & 6

It is that time once again, where I dive into my tweets and poorly written notes on my phone to go through the stand out moments of The Last Dance. And as is tradition there were no shortage of moments

*Kobe.

This past week just came right out the gate and hit a brother in the feels. I saw someone on twitter, forgive me for not remembering his name, if I find it I will add it later, but he said we saw Michael give Kobe his roses at his funeral and months later Kobe gives Michael his. It was kind of jarring to see him as it still doesn't seem real that he isn't here. That said hearing the close friendship the two shared in secrecy, and how Kobe felt the most important figure in his basketball life was MJ was very cool. Sidenote, I would pay all the money to see more of the old timers shit talking like Mike, Magic, Larry Bird and others were before the All-Star game.

*Converse and Adidas BOTH fumbling the bag.
So hearing that Nike was not in the top two for Jordan was something I did not know. Converse was king but basically told Jordan go do something before you come at us with an offer like this. Adidas was Jordan's fave but they were not in a good way at that moment.

Jordan seen here with the true boss of Nike

Then the upstart Nike, who owes so much to Mike's mom because she had to basically make him take a meeting with them made the best decision a company could have made. Here we are 35 years later and if you ask a serious basketball fan do they have a favorite pair of Jordans they can answer you without fail.


*"Republicans buy sneakers too."
So I feel like this has been wildly overblown. Given the context of when and how he said it, yeah totally makes sense. Now that doesn't give him a pass on being silent for years, but that just wasn't his path in my eyes. Hero of civil rights? Nope. But he's not a villain either. It's odd that he gets this rep of a guy who hates black people, but Jordan through both his ownership of the Hornets and the Jumpman brand has elevated so many people of color to positions of power that it deserves to be mentioned. Also a Michael Jordan endorsement was not the one thing that lost Harvey Gantt his Senatorial bid against Jesse Helms, the only man worse than Karl Malone in this story.


*The Dream Team
Holy crap. Talk about the greatest basketball ensemble ever assembled. And elephant in the room, Isaiah Thomas not being on the team. While Jordan gets the heat for him not being on the squad, notice no one was sticking up to get him on the team.

Like Ewing I too want to know why Laettner was there over Shaq.

Hell Chuck Daly was the head coach! If it was so important he would have done something to get him on the squad. That said, the footage of the greatest game ever played, aka the scrimmage of the hall of famers was amazing. For years I was sure this was the stuff of urban legends but just seeing these guys I grew up admiring (except Karl Malone, fuck that guy) was amazing. It was practice but my lawd these guys played with the intensity of a thousand suns.


*The King, the GOAT, John Michael Wozniak.

He hit the shrug on Michael Jordan after beating him in some depression era gambling. Your fave could never. 

Well folks that all I got for now. This series has been an amazing distraction given what we're going through currently. So if you would like to send me a piar of Jordan 11's, size 12 holla at me, otherwise ya'll be easy till the next time we meet in these blog streets.

The Last Dance Parts 3 & 4

Here we are with another installment of your boy rambling on and on about one of, if not his favorite topic, Chicago Bulls! Now given that I am in the land of the Pistons I won't dwell on the Bad Boys portion but I will say that I agree with Horace Grant's assessment of the infamous walk off, and their brand of basketball can only be described as thuggery.

That said I will never tire of seeing them broken down and swept the hell out the playoff by my boys. Whew, got that off my chest. Now on to some other things I found to be quite interesting on this special.

*The Cleveland Cavaliers were good before LeBron.
 I think it was good to show people that Cleveland wasn't always a dumpster fire of an organization before LeBron arrived on the scene. Those 80s teams, specifically the ones with Ron Harper, Craig Ehlo, Brad Daughtery, Mark Price and Hot Rod Williams. Also a great bit of trivia when Ron Harper revealed that he wanted to guard Jordan on the infamous last shot over Ehlo. The coach decided to roll with Ehlo for....reasons? Ehlo averaged 5.6 points a game while Harper averaged 19.4 points. And defensively Harper was getting a block and 2.3 steals a night. Ehlo on the other hand was around .9 steals per game and .3 blocks per game. Knowing all that it's understandable that Harper would have this reaction.

when they tell me my virtual zoom background is “distracting” and “not that funny” pic.twitter.com/fPfdCeFtuK

— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) April 27, 2020

*Tex Winter is possibly the greatest assistant coach of all time. 
He doesn't get his due to me which is odd to say about a man in the Hall of Fame but the name does not ring out like it should. Doug Collins as coach had the philosophy of get the ball to Michael and get the fuck out the way. Tex, was a touch more methodical and calculating. It would take the ball out of MJ's hand but his offense would allow other to help him. When another assistant coach you may have heard of named Phil Jackson basically Littlefinger'ed his way to the head coach spot he fully implemented Winter's offense with the caveat that if needed it would still be Jordan time. He fully bought in, it elevated the play of the entire team and we still got the Jordan heroics we had previously gotten. You can argue that Winters was the 3rd most important person to the Bulls ascension to the top of the mountain.

*Dennis Rodman is wildly interesting.
I know this goes against everything Bill Simmons says but Dennis Rodman? Wildly interesting and entertaining. This was a man who in a way was well ahead of his time. On the court he was a basketball genius who by the spin of the ball could tell where it was going to bounce off the rim.

Rodman joined the NWO...during a playoff run.

But off the court, he was really one of the first that I could remember taking his mental health seriously. He felt he was on the verge of a mental breakdown from the stress of the season and what does he do? He basically asked for a mental health day! Granted it was 48 hours in Vegas, but he knows what he needs to get right. Your boy respects that.
*I need a buddy road trip movie starring MJ and Dennis Rodman after he pulled him out of Carmen Electra's hotel suite.
The highlight of Dennis Rodman's midseason Vegas Vacation was that of all people who had to go and retrieve Dennis? Michael Jeffrey Jordan.

"And then I gotta go pull him up out the bed!"

Do you know how hard I would be laughing if I was sitting in a lobby and see MJ pulling Rodman to a car and throwing him in by the nose ring? Rodman, you a wild boy for not only asking for the time off but then blowing past the return date and just chilling.


Well folks I know I am tuning in this Sunday and I suggest you all do the same, otherwise none of this will make sense to you. Ya'll be easy.

Draft Recap Extravaganza

The NFL draft surprisingly went off without a hitch and your boy was somewhat right on his picks so it's a win-win for America right? There were some teams who on paper did better than others and some that just knocked the draft out the park. Now I am not one to sit here and call out some teams for some of the picks made, I will give you some of my initial thoughts now that virtual draft 2020 is over.

5.  The Patriots didn't draft a QB.

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

So if you haven't heard the Patriots no longer have a Hall of Famer on the roster at the QB position. So one would think that they would work on drafting his successor right? WRONG. They drafted defense and a tight end. Then went the undrafted free agent route for a QB. While it's not the route I would have taken, Bill Belichick is a damn genius unfortunately and somehow it will work out for him.

They're gonna tank and get Trevor Lawrence aren't they?

4. ESPN really loves tragedy.

Seriously it seems like every guy who was drafted had some bummer of a tidbit thrown on like it was something that we all really, really needed to know. One guy had a mother and sister get West Nile virus, one guy had a mom beat a crack addiction. And while I am very glad they overcame such hardships, I'm not sure ESPN should be putting their info on blast.

3. Isaiah Simmons is a monster.

I was shocked that Simmons fell past 4 but other team's loss is the Cardinals gain.

And I realize the temptation to draft a tackle of the future but sometimes you just gotta draft a guy that is the best on the board. Simmons can do it all, he can plat safety, linebacker, probably even some nickel corner. This guy i s a football player who makes plays regardless of where he lines up.

2. The fall by some of the receivers. 

This year is one of the deepest wide receiver drafts in recent history so imagine all of our surprise when some of the highest rated guys fell in the draft.

CeeDee Lamb to Dallas, and Jerry Jeudy to Denver are two that will get the most attention but Michael Pittman Jr dropping to the second round to the Colts to give them another receiver other than TY Hilton was a steal. I expect big things from the class of 2020.

1. Aaron Rodgers got Favre'd.

I mean I did not see that coming. While one day a successor to Rodgers was going to have to be drafted but coming off a season where he clearly needed more help from his skill positions, receivers and tight end specifically the Packers chose to draft a backup QB and a backup RB with their first two picks so as a Bears fan I'm pretty stoke they chose to make him a little disgruntled and not give him weapons at the same time!

Bonus: What the fuck are the Saints doing?

I mean, what the hell? I get signing Jameis Winston as a back up. It makes a lot of sense, if he works out then you possibly have a successor to Drew Brees because lest we forget while Winston does throw a lot of picks, he still is a very talented player. In fact his stats are very similar to Peyton Manning. Seriously.

With all that said, why the hell would the Saints make Taysom Hill the second highest paid backup in football? He has 13 passes in his first 2 seasons, with no touchdown passes, and one interceptions. He has been useful as kind of a swiss army knife player but come on. I have never seen a guy who is 30 years old and still be considered a project and be seen as the future of the franchise. Let us not forget, last season when Brees went down it was Teddy Bridgewater who kept the ship afloat, not Hill. 

Well folks that's all I got for right now, it was great to have at least something to distract from the constant dread of a pandemic and the uncertainty going forward...so yeah. Until next time, ya'll be easy.