The Last Dance Parts 9 & 10

Well folks, the day we knew was coming but hoped wouldn't has come to our doorsteps. Yes the end of "The Last Dance."

It's been a great look into the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan, and while it has been criticized as being a propaganda piece for Michael Jordan, your boy does not give a damn. I feel like we got a look into one of the great dynasties in sports history through the cheesy hued eyes of it's best player. So without further ado, the final 5 takeaways from The Last Dance.

* We need more Steve Kerr content.
I had absolutely no idea about Steve Kerr and his father but man this guy had lived a LIFE before he even reached the NBA. Follow that up with becoming essentially the basketball version of Forest Gump, ya know minus the learning disability. He was a member of the greatest team ever, the 72 win Bulls, followed that with hitting game winning shots for the Spurs and getting two more titles.

Then he becomes a coach and wins 3 titles with the best team of this era. Also the guy is gold with the mic in front of him. Definitely a compelling and probably the most likable guy of the entire series.

* As annoying as Reggie Miller was/is/will be, that bastard was a killer.
Reggie Miller is a pest. He annoys the shit out of you and his voice at times is like nails on a chalkboard. On the court however? Yo. Reggie Miller was a damn killer. And while incorrect in his thought that he was gonna lead the team that vanquishes the Bulls, no other team got close in the 6 championship runs as the Pacers did.

When this Quark looking bastard was on...HE WAS ON. He could hit any shot he wanted over anyone. He's just so damn annoying.

* Flu game/Pizza game/Hangover game?
For years the story has been that Jordan caught the flu before one of the biggest games of the season and battled through. And while he did have some kind of sickness, he says it is due to food poisoning because he ate an entire pizza in one sitting. Mike. Sweetie. What the hell you doing?

Regardless of if he was hung over, had the flu or was really going through a case of food poisoning it's damn impressive. I have been in all three situations, and I wouldn't even want to leave the couch let alone go through an NBA finals game.

* When Rodman is off the clock, he is OFF THE CLOCK.
One of the great revelations of this series has been Dennis Rodman as a workplace hero. Earlier this series he asked for basically a mental health break and took 48 hours in Vegas with Carmen Electra which if we're being honest...I see the vision.

Now in the heat of a title run, he decided practice is not something I need right now. What I need is to go on Monday Night Nitro, join the NWO and then help assault Diamond Dallas Page. And while he was fined $10,000 for missing practice, he got $250,000 for going on Nitro. Chess, not checkers.

* Fuck Karl Malone as a staff, record label and a motherfuckin' crew.
My one big complaint about this series is that Karl Malone wasn't slandered enough. I do however take solace that on the biggest stage of his career he shat his pants twice. He bricked two free throws after Scottie Pippen told him "Mailman don't deliver on Sundays" and of course let MJ strip him on the final series of the Jazz season. I want to bottle that moment so I can sip on it like a fine wine.

There we have it. This was a series that I feel was made for me. I learned some things I didn't know, and I am further cements his GOAT status for me. However it's probably one of the more bias confirming docu-series of the last few years because if you hated Jordan you're gonna still hate him. If you loved him like I do, you're gonna love him more. I think more than anything I'm gonna miss logging on twitter at 9 pm every Sunday and with my internet pals, all joining together to slander Karl Malone.

Fuck that guy. He's the worst.

The Last Dance Parts 7 & 8

It's that time once again, when I your boy comes down from his cloud of nostalgic Chicago Bulls fandom and give you some of the takeaways from this weeks episodes of The Last Dance. And this one starts...heavy. I mean HEAVY.

*The death of James Jordan and it's fallout.
Alright this is the most tragic part of the episode obviously. What was most tragic to me is that before he could even put his father in the ground, there were rumors being reported as facts about his gambling being tied to his father's murder. I don't buy that for a single second.

First of all, if the mob or bookies are gonna send someone after you, they're not using two dumb 18 year olds who if caught would roll on everybody. Also, we know Jordan paid his debts. How do we know? There were certified checks to Slim Bouler paying his debts! You mean to tell me he will pay a Sam Jackson with a jheri curl wannabe but choose not to pay much more dangerous people for....reasons? Get out of here.

*MJ's baseball career.

Was Jordan's career a success? Not really but to me it was pretty impressive. Here we have a man who has been the greatest basketball player on the planet, quits and picks up a bat for the first time since high school and he didn't embarrass himself. He had 50 RBI, 30 stolen bases, and a 13 game hit streak. He only hit .200 but holy shit balls that is astonishing.

*The Orlando Magic were the shit.
During Jordan's return from baseball they were bounced from the playoffs by the upstart Orlando Magic. Now it's usually explained away by the Jordan was rusty narrative. Au contraire mon frère, the Magic were that shit. Dennis Scott, Nick Anderson, Brian Shaw, Horace Grant and lest we forget Shaq and Penny Hardaway.

Shaq was the most dominant big since Kareem and Penny was a dynamic guard who passed as well as anyone in the league and could score at will at times. Jordan even averaged over 30 that series. Gotta tip your cap, Magic were the better team.

*Scottie Pippen's disappointing 1.8 seconds.
I loved Scottie Pippen as a player, still do. But Scottie in this instance was wrong. It would be nice if the final play was drawn up for him but he was never a catch and shoot guy.

You know who was, and had been that season? Toni Kukoc. So I get the frustration but let's be real, Scottie probably doesn't hit that shot. Sometimes if you're the lead dog, you gotta know when to put the team in the best spot to win. In that moment, he failed.

*Scott Burrell, Ned Flanders of the NBA.
One of the funniest moments of the entire 2 episodes was the genuine befuddlement and slight disgust that MJ had with Scott Burrell.

Look at this nice bastard.

Not because of some character flaw or shitty game but because Burrell was as MJ put "just a nice guy." The idea of being nice was such a flaw to MJ on the path to greatness. So much so, that he actually gets emotional at the thought of players not giving a fuck to the level he gave a fuck.

Alright there we go, another week with me, giving you, my unsolicited opinion of the Bulls documentary which is probably not going to change anyone's minds but I think will provide some context. Next week the ride comes to an end, but who knows maybe your boy will do another statistical deep dive to give you, my loyal people the content you need.

The Last Dance: Part 5 & 6

It is that time once again, where I dive into my tweets and poorly written notes on my phone to go through the stand out moments of The Last Dance. And as is tradition there were no shortage of moments

*Kobe.

This past week just came right out the gate and hit a brother in the feels. I saw someone on twitter, forgive me for not remembering his name, if I find it I will add it later, but he said we saw Michael give Kobe his roses at his funeral and months later Kobe gives Michael his. It was kind of jarring to see him as it still doesn't seem real that he isn't here. That said hearing the close friendship the two shared in secrecy, and how Kobe felt the most important figure in his basketball life was MJ was very cool. Sidenote, I would pay all the money to see more of the old timers shit talking like Mike, Magic, Larry Bird and others were before the All-Star game.

*Converse and Adidas BOTH fumbling the bag.
So hearing that Nike was not in the top two for Jordan was something I did not know. Converse was king but basically told Jordan go do something before you come at us with an offer like this. Adidas was Jordan's fave but they were not in a good way at that moment.

Jordan seen here with the true boss of Nike

Then the upstart Nike, who owes so much to Mike's mom because she had to basically make him take a meeting with them made the best decision a company could have made. Here we are 35 years later and if you ask a serious basketball fan do they have a favorite pair of Jordans they can answer you without fail.


*"Republicans buy sneakers too."
So I feel like this has been wildly overblown. Given the context of when and how he said it, yeah totally makes sense. Now that doesn't give him a pass on being silent for years, but that just wasn't his path in my eyes. Hero of civil rights? Nope. But he's not a villain either. It's odd that he gets this rep of a guy who hates black people, but Jordan through both his ownership of the Hornets and the Jumpman brand has elevated so many people of color to positions of power that it deserves to be mentioned. Also a Michael Jordan endorsement was not the one thing that lost Harvey Gantt his Senatorial bid against Jesse Helms, the only man worse than Karl Malone in this story.


*The Dream Team
Holy crap. Talk about the greatest basketball ensemble ever assembled. And elephant in the room, Isaiah Thomas not being on the team. While Jordan gets the heat for him not being on the squad, notice no one was sticking up to get him on the team.

Like Ewing I too want to know why Laettner was there over Shaq.

Hell Chuck Daly was the head coach! If it was so important he would have done something to get him on the squad. That said, the footage of the greatest game ever played, aka the scrimmage of the hall of famers was amazing. For years I was sure this was the stuff of urban legends but just seeing these guys I grew up admiring (except Karl Malone, fuck that guy) was amazing. It was practice but my lawd these guys played with the intensity of a thousand suns.


*The King, the GOAT, John Michael Wozniak.

He hit the shrug on Michael Jordan after beating him in some depression era gambling. Your fave could never. 

Well folks that all I got for now. This series has been an amazing distraction given what we're going through currently. So if you would like to send me a piar of Jordan 11's, size 12 holla at me, otherwise ya'll be easy till the next time we meet in these blog streets.

The Last Dance Parts 3 & 4

Here we are with another installment of your boy rambling on and on about one of, if not his favorite topic, Chicago Bulls! Now given that I am in the land of the Pistons I won't dwell on the Bad Boys portion but I will say that I agree with Horace Grant's assessment of the infamous walk off, and their brand of basketball can only be described as thuggery.

That said I will never tire of seeing them broken down and swept the hell out the playoff by my boys. Whew, got that off my chest. Now on to some other things I found to be quite interesting on this special.

*The Cleveland Cavaliers were good before LeBron.
 I think it was good to show people that Cleveland wasn't always a dumpster fire of an organization before LeBron arrived on the scene. Those 80s teams, specifically the ones with Ron Harper, Craig Ehlo, Brad Daughtery, Mark Price and Hot Rod Williams. Also a great bit of trivia when Ron Harper revealed that he wanted to guard Jordan on the infamous last shot over Ehlo. The coach decided to roll with Ehlo for....reasons? Ehlo averaged 5.6 points a game while Harper averaged 19.4 points. And defensively Harper was getting a block and 2.3 steals a night. Ehlo on the other hand was around .9 steals per game and .3 blocks per game. Knowing all that it's understandable that Harper would have this reaction.

when they tell me my virtual zoom background is “distracting” and “not that funny” pic.twitter.com/fPfdCeFtuK

— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) April 27, 2020

*Tex Winter is possibly the greatest assistant coach of all time. 
He doesn't get his due to me which is odd to say about a man in the Hall of Fame but the name does not ring out like it should. Doug Collins as coach had the philosophy of get the ball to Michael and get the fuck out the way. Tex, was a touch more methodical and calculating. It would take the ball out of MJ's hand but his offense would allow other to help him. When another assistant coach you may have heard of named Phil Jackson basically Littlefinger'ed his way to the head coach spot he fully implemented Winter's offense with the caveat that if needed it would still be Jordan time. He fully bought in, it elevated the play of the entire team and we still got the Jordan heroics we had previously gotten. You can argue that Winters was the 3rd most important person to the Bulls ascension to the top of the mountain.

*Dennis Rodman is wildly interesting.
I know this goes against everything Bill Simmons says but Dennis Rodman? Wildly interesting and entertaining. This was a man who in a way was well ahead of his time. On the court he was a basketball genius who by the spin of the ball could tell where it was going to bounce off the rim.

Rodman joined the NWO...during a playoff run.

But off the court, he was really one of the first that I could remember taking his mental health seriously. He felt he was on the verge of a mental breakdown from the stress of the season and what does he do? He basically asked for a mental health day! Granted it was 48 hours in Vegas, but he knows what he needs to get right. Your boy respects that.
*I need a buddy road trip movie starring MJ and Dennis Rodman after he pulled him out of Carmen Electra's hotel suite.
The highlight of Dennis Rodman's midseason Vegas Vacation was that of all people who had to go and retrieve Dennis? Michael Jeffrey Jordan.

"And then I gotta go pull him up out the bed!"

Do you know how hard I would be laughing if I was sitting in a lobby and see MJ pulling Rodman to a car and throwing him in by the nose ring? Rodman, you a wild boy for not only asking for the time off but then blowing past the return date and just chilling.


Well folks I know I am tuning in this Sunday and I suggest you all do the same, otherwise none of this will make sense to you. Ya'll be easy.

Draft Recap Extravaganza

The NFL draft surprisingly went off without a hitch and your boy was somewhat right on his picks so it's a win-win for America right? There were some teams who on paper did better than others and some that just knocked the draft out the park. Now I am not one to sit here and call out some teams for some of the picks made, I will give you some of my initial thoughts now that virtual draft 2020 is over.

5.  The Patriots didn't draft a QB.

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

So if you haven't heard the Patriots no longer have a Hall of Famer on the roster at the QB position. So one would think that they would work on drafting his successor right? WRONG. They drafted defense and a tight end. Then went the undrafted free agent route for a QB. While it's not the route I would have taken, Bill Belichick is a damn genius unfortunately and somehow it will work out for him.

They're gonna tank and get Trevor Lawrence aren't they?

4. ESPN really loves tragedy.

Seriously it seems like every guy who was drafted had some bummer of a tidbit thrown on like it was something that we all really, really needed to know. One guy had a mother and sister get West Nile virus, one guy had a mom beat a crack addiction. And while I am very glad they overcame such hardships, I'm not sure ESPN should be putting their info on blast.

3. Isaiah Simmons is a monster.

I was shocked that Simmons fell past 4 but other team's loss is the Cardinals gain.

And I realize the temptation to draft a tackle of the future but sometimes you just gotta draft a guy that is the best on the board. Simmons can do it all, he can plat safety, linebacker, probably even some nickel corner. This guy i s a football player who makes plays regardless of where he lines up.

2. The fall by some of the receivers. 

This year is one of the deepest wide receiver drafts in recent history so imagine all of our surprise when some of the highest rated guys fell in the draft.

CeeDee Lamb to Dallas, and Jerry Jeudy to Denver are two that will get the most attention but Michael Pittman Jr dropping to the second round to the Colts to give them another receiver other than TY Hilton was a steal. I expect big things from the class of 2020.

1. Aaron Rodgers got Favre'd.

I mean I did not see that coming. While one day a successor to Rodgers was going to have to be drafted but coming off a season where he clearly needed more help from his skill positions, receivers and tight end specifically the Packers chose to draft a backup QB and a backup RB with their first two picks so as a Bears fan I'm pretty stoke they chose to make him a little disgruntled and not give him weapons at the same time!

Bonus: What the fuck are the Saints doing?

I mean, what the hell? I get signing Jameis Winston as a back up. It makes a lot of sense, if he works out then you possibly have a successor to Drew Brees because lest we forget while Winston does throw a lot of picks, he still is a very talented player. In fact his stats are very similar to Peyton Manning. Seriously.

With all that said, why the hell would the Saints make Taysom Hill the second highest paid backup in football? He has 13 passes in his first 2 seasons, with no touchdown passes, and one interceptions. He has been useful as kind of a swiss army knife player but come on. I have never seen a guy who is 30 years old and still be considered a project and be seen as the future of the franchise. Let us not forget, last season when Brees went down it was Teddy Bridgewater who kept the ship afloat, not Hill. 

Well folks that's all I got for right now, it was great to have at least something to distract from the constant dread of a pandemic and the uncertainty going forward...so yeah. Until next time, ya'll be easy.

Mock Draft Extravaganza!

It's draft time once again and I could not be happier to have some form of distraction here to from the day to day dumpster fire the world has become. And for once I think I have a chance to get my top ten predictions correct given that workouts etc have been limited due to the virus.

Look at that glorious mane.

I could parlay this into a gig on ESPN like Mel Kiper baby! Ah who am I kidding, I could never replace that magnificently coifed SOB. Oh well, without further ado, I give you the top 10 picks of the NFL draft.

1. Cincinnati: Joe Burrow, QB- LSU
This is the first time in a long time that I remember there being such a slam dunk number one. From energizing a fan base stand point, you got the Ohio kid coming off a Heisman winning and National Championship winning season.

Oh not to mention he was really, really, really good. I mean record setting good. I thought I would never seen a season like Cam Newton's season at Auburn where it was so obvious who the best player on the field is but lo and behold Joey Burreaux stepped up. Don't Bengal this up ok Cincy?


2. Washington: Chase Young, DE- Ohio State
With Ron Rivera at the helm I have no doubt that he can make Dwayne Haskins work as their guy going forward. So with that said you go with the other player who appears to be a slam dunk in Young.

Wanna double team? Sure, he'll split the double team. He can bull rush you, speed rush, defend against the run, literally anything asked of an edge rusher, Young can do. You would have to be a moron to pass this guy up. 

3. Detroit: Jeffrey Okudah, CB- Ohio State
Detroit has been rumored to trade this pick to Miami and they would choose 5th. Regardless of here or at 5 I have them picking the best defensive back in the draft since they keep trading their best ones away for...reasons?

Anyway Okudah is a lock down corner who inevitably will run afoul with Matt Patricia for working out with Richard Sherman or something, and be traded thus ensuring an unstable secondary for years to come! 


4. New York Giants: Isaiah Simmons, LB/S- Clemson
If you watched college football closely this season there was no way you could see the Clemson defense and not know that Simmons is probably the most versatile defender since Derwin James and possibly since Tyrann Mathieu.

Need a safety? He got you. Need a linebacker? He got you. If pressed into rushing the quarterback, or stopping the run? Boom! So while the Giants are a mess everywhere but running back, I say grab the best guy you can at this spot.


5. Miami: Tua Tagovailoa, QB- Alabama

The Dolphins last season seemingly were tanking for Tua, then something magical happened. Brian Flores turned out to be a good coach and they won some games they frankly shouldn't have. Well the fates are smiling on them as Tua with his injured hip will probably be available at 5 barring a team jumping them in the draft. Tua is an unflappable quarterback, and while he wasn't the most durable at Bama I think his awareness can improve, and sitting behind Fitzpatrick for a season to ensure he is fully at 100 percent will be a god send for the talented lefty.

6. Los Angeles Chargers: Justin Herbert, QB- Oregon
The Chargers said goodbye to the man who has been their franchise quarterback for the last 15 seasons and as much as I love Tyrod Taylor I don't think the Chargers will be hitching their wagon to him long term.

In Herbert you have a project who won't be hurt by sitting for a season or two while you have a competent quarterback in Taylor. He has the size, arm strength and mobility that teams seem to love these days, and this could be the best case scenario for him.









7. Carolina: Meckhi Becton, LT- Louisville

Carolina has a new franchise QB in Teddy Bridgewater, inked their franchise RB Christian McCaffrey to a long term deal, so the thing to do is to get a cornerstone on the line to help both of those guys out. Enter Becton from Louisville who has the size, speed and footwork to be a force for many years to come.


8. Arizona: Jedrick Wills, OT- Alabama

Arizona has gone from a joke to a team on the rise in pretty quick order. Kyler Murray proved himself to be a solid choice last year and a dynamic playmaker. Kenyan Drake has been a great addition at running back allowing them to trade away David Johnson and free up cap space. Oh and they got a litle guy named DeAndre Hopkins to add with Larry Fitzgerald. All you gotta do is give Murray time, which the athletic and ridiculously strong Willis can most definitely do. Keep an eye on the team in the dessert.


9. Jacksonville: Ceedee Lamb, WR- Oklahoma
The Jaguars appear to be all in on Gardner Minshew so given that they released Marquise Lee they should go ahead and get him a number one receiver.

While I would go with Jerry Jeudy out of Alabama, most draft boards seem to love Lamb and for good reason. He's a big athletic go and get it playmaker that any team could go for. The Jags would be wise to give Minshew all the weapons they can and this is certainly a wise play.


10. Cleveland: Tristan Wirfs, LT- Iowa 
While the most physically impressive lineman at the combine was Becton from Louisville, the most technically sound was probably Tristan Wirfs and it should come as no surprise that he is an Iowa Hawkeye.

Say what you will but that Kirk Ferentz knows what he is doing when it comes to offensive linemen and boy did he do a hell of a job here. Nick Chubb, Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr. will love the kid from Iowa giving Baker Mayfield more time to get them the ball.

Alright there we have it, so check in on the draft this week, I know you don't got anything else going along. Let's compare and see how I manage to get these wrong, which I am of course wont to do.

The Last Dance Part I & II

One thing that anyone who knows me can tell you about me, is I love basketball. I love college basketball, foreign leagues, I've even stopped to watch people playing in a park before. But the core of my love of basketball, where it went from being just something I liked to do, to something I was downright obsessed with and that would be the Chicago Bulls.

The Chicago Bulls, a favorite of my uncle but more importantly it had my favorite player, and the favorite player of my entire world, Michael Jeffrey Jordan. I could tell you everything about Jordan, I studied his game, I studied his card, and would beg nonstop for my mom to rent copies of Air Time, Above and Beyond, Come Fly with Me and so many others. So you best believe, I was watching the long awaited documentary on the 1998 Championship squad.

I fancy myself as a guy who knows his fair share about the Chicago Bulls but even I found out some things that I didn't know about in the first two hours of this 10 hour basketball extravaganza So without further ado I give you five of the takeaways I took from this work of art.

*Michael Jordan actually showing human frustration with his minutes restriction 

These bums are trash!

I grew up with memories of Michael Jordan as a methodical and almost surgical technician of the art of basketball. But seeing footage of him as a frustrated second year player who just wanted to win while management was seemingly more focused on tanking for draft picks made him an almost sympathetic figure. It's this vulnerability that I never remember seeing growing up. Quite refreshing.

*Jerry Krause...was complex.
Jerry Krause was a very good general manager. But as pointed out (repeatedly) in the documentary is that he had to basically be the center of attention and get all the credit.

"So uh...you ever heard of Tim Floyd?"

So much so that he was ready to break up the greatest dynasty since the 60s Celtics just to rebuild and show he could do it again. So while I as a fan can admit I will never really get over that, I can also admit he made some amazing moves, that helped set this dynasty up. But uh yeah, you don't let Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen roll because you got a hunch about a fishing buddy.

*Charles Oakley is a damn savage.

I didn't really need this documentary to tell me this but it is good that the masses knows not to mess with Oak. This is more of a public service announcement than anything else.

*Scottie Pippen is a wildly more interesting person than I gave him credit for.

Scottie Pippen was wildly underpaid for his tenure with the Bulls. However, we all assumed it was because he had shitty advice or the Bulls somehow duped him. When they reveal the traumatic stroke suffered by his father coupled with the accident that paralyzed brother you understand why even against the advice of the owner of the team, he would choose the long term security over whether or not he would be fairly compensated because he couldn't risk his family security for anything.

*The Bulls Traveling Cocaine Circus

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Bulls was wilding! Were they being run by Rick James?


Well folks I gotta say, rarely does something ever live up to the hype and dare I say exceeds it. Is it because I'm a Bulls fan? Probably. But even novice basketball fans can join in on the fun that this is, because let's be honest we don't have anything else to do.

Alright, ya'll be easy. Peace.