August Sit Your Ass Down Award

What it is baby, what it is?! It is that time of year again where I, your favorite 8 time fantasy baseball participant takes time to give you , my loyal army of 10s what you need and what you crave. As with most months I didn't have a shortage of people who need to be told to have a damn seat. I was leaning towards the news anchor who told her black co-anchor he looked like a gorilla but then the heavens opened up and said to me..."Puma, this asshat has said something remarkably stupid." An lo and behold, the person who needs most to sit that ass down is...Doug Gottlieb! Dougie get your ass up here and sit your ass down.

Unfamiliar with who Doug Gottlieb is? Well he is an insufferable college basketball analyst and former player. Most known for his swift hands and penchant for steals.

Unfortunately those steals were not on the court but rather his teammate's credit cards. But I digress. When the news broke of Andrew Luck's retirement, Mr. Gottlieb felt it was the perfect time to bless the world with his insight.

Retiring cause rehabbing is “too hard” is the most millennial thing ever #AndrewLuck

— Doug Gottlieb (@GottliebShow) August 25, 2019

 You know Doug, you could have said nothing, yet what you chose to do was express a thought so stupid and void of any logic that even Britt McHenry rightly roasted that ass.

1. The use of millennial as an insult? Come on Doug, that the best you got?
2. Deciding to choose a life void of physical and mental pain caused by injuries in football is a bad thing? Help me out here.
3. If you listened to the entire 30 minute retirement press conference not once does Andrew Luck mention rehab being "too hard." He does mention mental anguish of the repetitive cycle of injury, rehab to get healthy, then injury, rehab to get healthy seemingly endlessly.

He also mentions that the game he once loved, had left him miserable. He's 29 years old. He has interests outside of football. If he can let go of the game and begin to become happy once again, who the hell is anyone to criticize it. Screw your team, screw your fantasy football, this is a man's life. A life he has worked hard for and should get to happily enjoy the fruits of said labor. But no, according to a man who has....

Zero NFL games under his belt he feels that a guy who in 6 years battled the following injuries:
*Torn cartilage in 2 ribs
* partially torn abdomen
* a lacerated kidney
* at least 1 concussion
* a torn labrum in his throwing shoulder
* and this mysterious calf/ankle issue that was the final straw

And his defense of his remarkably idiotic point? 
"Anyone who hires a millennial will say, 'You know what, it’s kind of amazing, they’re really smart, kind of worldly, they come in, sort of think they know everything, but they’ll get after it and work hard.’ Then they want a raise like two weeks later. That sound like any football players you know? Want a raise as soon as they see any sort of success even though their contract says otherwise?"

Soft millennial, why don't you have some more avocado toast?

How does that apply to Andrew Luck and his retiring? Because if memory serves correct Luck
earned his contract, never held out and lest I forget was wildly successful. A four time pro bowler, he led the league in touchdown passes in 2014, and was the Comeback Player of the Year just last season. That's a wildly successful career that had to be hard to walk away from, not the petulant actions of a brat who wasn't given what he wanted.

So to Doug Gottlieb, the man with credit card fraud, betrayal of the only coach to give him a second chance, and countless shitty takes, please grab this Lazy Boy and sit your ass down.