The Puma's Watch Has Ended

I know what you're thinking reading the title of this and no, your faithful Puma of Chocolate descent is not going anywhere. But what he will be doing is giving a couple of thoughts after having a few days to reflect on the series finale and final season of Dem Thrones, shout out to the gents at the Hot Fiyastarter podcast.  So if you have not see the final season or do not want to be spoiled, stop reading now. For real. I mean it. I don't wanna hear nary a word about you being spoiled and I'm giving you warning.

Alright, so for the most part I enjoyed this season. Like most final seasons there were some hiccups but all in all, for not having the book to rely and having to come up with it on their own I thought it was pretty damn entertaining.

* The Theon Redemption Angle
Look it was great that he was able to save his sister and get over the mental torture that was Ramsay Bolton. That said, catching the L to the Night King was not some great absolving of his many cowardly deeds. At least for your boy that is.

Fuck this guy.

Because lest we forget, he killed and burned up two random ass kids and tried to pass it off as Bran and Rickon. I didn't forget about that doggy! So like Karl Malone before him, Theon remains firmly in the "fuck him" zone.

* The Death of Cersei
I was completely satisfied with how she went out. For the entire run of the show she has operated as if she was the smartest player in the game. So much so that she thought just because she came up with a plan she was absolutely impervious to failure. Dany showed up with those dragons and said "not so fast player" and she STILL didn't want to admit failure.

"Oh she breached the wall? I'll have some wine."

I was cool with her plans literally crumbling on her, her last thoughts being that her hubris led to the death of her unborn child, the one man she truly loved and her kingdom. I would have preferred a burned alive style death but I didn't hate this.

* The Lords and Ladies King Draft
Ok, this scene confused me. They are choosing a king but have no ideas. Sam suggests a democracy and gets mocked heartily. Tyrion suggests it by choosing Bran, who Sansa was kind enough to remind the room that his dick is out of order and unable to sire an heir thus unable to pass the crown and the people will choose his heir.

"Did Sansa just mention my dick?!"

Cool. However my gripe is how is Tyrion the prisoner leading the selection committee? Also Tyrion what is you smoking my guy? Bran has the most interesting story? Bruh, Jon Snow literally came back from the dead! Also Bran stand up for yourself...sorry couldn't help myself. "Bran the Broken" is the best nickname you got? Was ol' Punk Ass Bran taken? Why not Bran the Seer, Bran the Raven, Raisin Bran Crunch, literally any of those would be better.
* The Battle of Winterfell
Bruh. I mean...bruh. That battle my God was so damn incredible I don't really have the words to properly describe it. From the opening salvo of the Dothraki and their flaming swords riding into the darkness and very slowly those swords all being extinguished. And let's be clear the Night King and his walkers came in and styled all over Winterfell.

"We about to style ALL OVER these bitches."

My man even brought a zombified Wun Wun with him. He was styling on them so hard that when the game got within striking distance so to speak, he raised everybody from the dead that had just been killed, shout out to Lyanna Mormont who is residing in Thug's Mansion. And as Jon fought to get to Bran knowing only Theon (Fuck him) stood between him living and receiving a quick ass death courtesy of the Night King it was Arya pulling up like Steph Curry and nailing the biggest dagger of the series. That was a satisfying, stressful ass episode.
* The King We Were Promised and NOT Delivered
Tyrion says to Jon that he would be a good king because he did not seek power. The people craved a just and true king who truly cared for the people. The man who most fits these qualities is not Jon Snow. The man who fits those qualities and has proven himself to be a capable leader...the one true king...HOT PIE!

That's right. Who better than the scrappy under dog who started from the literal bottom. Who better to lead the downtrodden and be a symbol of human ingenuity? And feeding the poor? Uh my mans Hot Pie got you covered. Did you not see that delicious ass Direwolf bread he baked Arya?

Well folks that about wraps up one of the best regular viewing sessions I had on my schedule and the biggest damn party on twitter. And in the words of the one true king "a good kidney pie is all about the ingredients."

Truer words were never spoken.

April's Sit Your Ass Down Award

Another month, another opportunity for me wax somewhat poetically about who needs to have all of the seats. And while there some serious contenders, for instance Meghan McCain who has really taken the "do you know who my father is" act to an entirely new level and James Harden who regularly sidesteps 26 steps while simultaneously complaining about officiating but the winner is a newcomer to these Sit your ass down streets. Sean Grubbs-Robishaw...get your ass up here so you can sit your ass down!

Who is Sean Grubbs-Robishaw you may be asking. Well recently there has been a bit of an epidemic going on with new residents to the community which is home to the prestigious Howard University, one of our nation's foremost HBCUs. And if you take this moment to ask "well, why aren't there historically WHITE universities" please send me your location in a self addressed envelope so I know where to hand deliver this fade for you.

Now back to explaining the situation a touch more. So recently in our nation's capitol at one of it's foremost universities there has been a boom in the housing market. Bringing in tons of outsiders in what can generally be referred to as a gentrification tsunami.

We are Chocolate City! 

This tsunami has brought forth a wave of people who think it's not only acceptable but their damn right to walk their dogs through the Yard at Howard University. Now this may not seem like a big deal but can you imagine this happening at say Harvard? No. The space would be respected.
Enter Ol' Grubby. Who was "kind" enough to verbalize the gentrifier's side of things. Why he feels that if the students feel disrespected they should just "move the campus." And then after feeling the heat from those dumbass comments Colonizing Colin felt the need to respond on the twitter machine. Here are his nuanced thoughts:

I mean this wingding hit the jackpot. He threw in a "you people" and totally Columbus'ed the neighborhood. So just as a note, Howard University has "been in the neighborhood" since 1867. The Yard where the disrespectful dog walking is occurring was named a National Historic Landmark in 2001. Oh and before you go, "oh it's just a park, why can't we walk our dogs there?" BECAUSE THERE'S A DAMN DOG PARK LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET. You have to go out of your way to be disrespectful.

Since you walking your dog right there, I'mma take it as disrespect.

So to you, Mr. showed up to the party 15 minutes ago and now got your feet up on the god damn table, I invite you to humbly and with all due disrespect, know your role and shut your mouth, and have a damn seat.