March's Sit Your Ass Down Award

I may have gone a month without giving you, my loyal fives of readers the kind of quality that you have come to expect from me, the Chocolate Puma. So it may be a few days late but who in March earned the ire of the Puma of Chocolate descent? Well there has been no shortage of contestants for this prestigious award, there has been one person who has stood out more than anyone.

Entitled ass sports fans, get your ass up here and sit your ass down!

Will someone stop serving Sharon chardonnay please?

Oooh boy this has been a long time coming. So in the year of our Lord 2019, we have Russell Westbrook on tape threatening to give the gift of an well deserved beat down to a fan and his wife in Utah, who it was later revealed that the two were being racist asshats to Westbrook.

In Boston we had a fan being banned for a season and a half for calling Boogie Cousins a nigger and it's only April. I don't know what it is about some people who buy tickets and immediately gain a sense of ownership over the athletes they paid to see. And this isn't a new phenomenon or even relegated to American sports. In Europe fans routinely call African players monkeys and taunt them by throwing bananas. To the point that some federations actually make the teams play in empty stadiums as punishment for the unruly abuse being thrown at these guys who are just going to work.

The most mind boggling thing to me is that Johnny Sportsfan who was at his athletic prime when trainers were rubbing aspercreme on knees trying to cure torn ACLs thinks he can insult, disrespect and be verbally abusive consequence free to literal super beings.

Seriously, look at this guy who told Russ to "get on your knees like you used to." This dude thought he could make a comment like that to a human being that can do this:

I think there is one reasonable solution to this epidemic of disrespect. That's right, the athlete who has been besmirched gets 5 minutes alone with said jackass and there will be no intervention from the law and there is no fear of being sued. Billy Beer Can is gonna be singing a different tune if he knows he has to go toe to toe with a 6'11 power forward.

The fans started the Malice in the Palace and deserved that ass whupping!

I live my motto by the rule, "talk shit, get hit." It's clear some of ya'll never got punched in the face and boy does it show.