August's Sit Your Ass Down Award

Another month down, another assclown who is need of a verbal dressing down by none other than the Puma of Chocolate descent. We had no shortage of morons who stepped up and wanted to be told to sit that posterior down and take the chillest of all pills. This month it's going to be an entire collection that feels my wrath. Athletic Department of Ohio State, bring your monkey asses up here so you can sit your ass down.

Now why would the prestigious Ohio State need to be told to sit down? Well recently they suspended their head football coach Urban Meyer three games. This would be big news if the NCAA hadn't just suspended members of the UNC Football team for four games for selling shoes. 

You mean a student athlete PROFITED?!?! 

The NCAA also suspended Todd Gurley 4 games for receiving $400 for signing mini helmets and Dez Bryant was suspended by the NCAA for lying about a lunch with Deion Sanders. The lie would be a violation of NCAA Bylaw 10.1, which addresses "unethical conduct" and includes "Knowingly furnishing the NCAA or the individual's institution false or misleading information concerning the individual's involvement in or knowledge of matters relevant to a possible violation of an NCAA regulation."

Why is that important you may be asking? Well Urban Meyer has long covered for Zach Smith the grandson of a mentor of his ignoring man red flags that most coaches would have hopefully have picked up on. For instance, in 2009 Smith was arrested on suspicion of battery of his wife.

Looks like Aaron Hernandez wasn't the only menace on that Florida squad.

Despite this he was hired by Urban Meyer to be his receivers coach. From October to December of 2016 there were multiple instances of police being called for menacing by stalking, refusing to return his son on a parental visit and was given a criminal trespassing warning. And not to downplay the seriousness of these allegations, he wasn't even doing his job well. Routinely missing recruiting visits, and according to Ohio State's own report had a history of “promiscuous and embarrassing sexual behavior, drug abuse, truancy, dishonesty, financial irresponsibility, a possible NCAA violation, and a lengthy police investigation into allegations of criminal domestic violence and cyber crimes.” 

Despite all of this he was retained by Meyer. In fact he keeps him on staff until Brett McMurphy breaks the story and the same day Smith is quietly fired. Then to make matters worse Meyer outright lied at Big Ten media day and blamed it on medication, forgetfulness and trying not to discuss a sensitive matter in the media. Dude. Given all this wouldn't ya say this is a violation of NCAA Bylaw 10.1?

I would say he earned a discounted tattoo.

Now while Meyer can have all the seats, let's not forget how THE Ohio State athletic department vilified the members of the team who were suspended for selling championship rings, jerseys and awards for cash and discounted tattoos. The players were suspended five games and it eventually cost Jim Tressel his job. 

So yes, the entire NCAA and THE institution of Ohio State can be put in rice because if a woman being beaten is secondary to tattoos, selling shoes, or lying about lunch then the whole damn system is a joke.