August's If You Don't Sit Your Ass Down Award

Ah yes it's that magical time of year when young Puma takes stock of all that has happened in the world recently and tells someone to very politely shut the hell up and have a seat. Now August was not short on many worthy contenders. Jason Whitlock, Tucker Carlson, even ya'll president all made an effort to be honored within this hallowed blog. But this morning I awoke and like a right cross from GGG I was floored at the audacity of the statement. Without further ado, the person who can take a seat this month is....

TIKI BARBER!

"Hey bro...you may find your post football career choices limited."

 Now what did the former star running back for the New York Giants do that would make me roll my eyes so hard I may have to miss a week of work with a sprained ocular muscle? Well I'm glad you asked. Well in a segment on his show discussing Colin Kaepernick the aforementioned Mr. Barber said "I don't commend him for sitting and not honoring this country and our flag." Now why is this worthy of being told to sit down? 

Again, glad you asked, damn you're polite. Tiki Barber is also the gentleman who left his wife...while she was pregnant...with twins...for the babysitter.

"Hey....so uh....we cool right?"

Holy shit what a scumbag. He was such a scumbag that he basically ruined the burgeoning broadcast career he had going for him. In fact you could argue that no one benefited from his scumminess more than Michael Strahan. It gets better or worse really. In Sports Illustrated he spoke of hooking up with his side boo in agent Mark Lepselter's attic so that he would not get caught. He even said "Lep's Jewish, and it was like a reverse Anne Frank thing." He thought that was a good thing to say in an interview where he is trying to rehabilitate his image. This is the kind of man condemning Colin Kaepernick.

Now I'm not saying that to disagree with the method of protest you have to be squeaky clean but it really helps if you're not the kind of slime ball to leave his 7 month pregnant wife and bring his mistress to the birth of his children.

So Mr. Barber seeing as you were unable to honor your wife and vows maybe you sit this one out if honor is the angle you're gonna take.