2013 NBA Draft Lottery as Chosen by a Chocolatey Prognosticator

Very few things make the Puma jump for joy and almost weep tears of happiness. Some of these things are bacon, leaving work early while others are still there, and catching a showing of “You’ve Got Mail” from the beginning. What? Sue me. Tom Hanks is delightful! And of course the NBA draft which is tonight, so lucky for you loyal readers Uncle Puma has decided to do a little digging, watch a few clips and blindly guess who everyone in the lottery is drafting. You know, sometimes I spoil you all.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers: Nerlens Noel, C; PF – Kentucky

Honestly the Cavs are kind of boned. With Irving and Waiters looking very good together no point in drafting a guard and all this talk of worrying about Noel’s injury is kind of dumb given all the other big men in the draft have injury histories as. Given his defense I think he’s the best choice.

2. Orlando Magic: Otto Porter, SF – Georgetown

This is of course contingent on the working rumor that the Magic are close to trading for Eric Bledsoe. Nikola Vucevic has been a pretty solid guy, E’Tuwan Moore is pretty decent, so adding the very dependable Otto Porter with his very high basketball IQ could be a great acquisition for a young team.

3. Washington Wizards: Alex Len, C – Maryland

The second best big man in the draft, he’s a solid choice for a team with to good guards and little else. He has a history of foot problems which is scary but given this draft he’s probably the best choice.

4. Charlotte Bobcats: Cody Zeller, PF- Indiana

Top bunk right buddy?

Byron Mullens needs a roommate I’m sure.

5. Phoenix Suns: Victor Oladipo, SG- Indiana

I think Oladipo is going to be the best player in this draft. He is great at things that translate to the pro game such as defense and has that insatiable desire to bury whoever he is guarding or is guarding him.

6. New Orleans Pelicans: Trey Burke, PG- Michigan

The best point guard available finds a home for the New Orleans franchise that’s looking to find it’s point guard of the future to join Austin Rivers and Anthony Davis. Incredibly clutch and lives for the big moment he is just what they need since the trade of Chris Paul.

7. Sacramento Kings: Ben McLemore, SG- Kansas

This team is a mess. Tyreke Evans has not progressed, Jimmer has been a bust so far and Boogie Cousins well I find him highly entertaining but he just gets out of his game too often mentally. Start with a fresh slate y getting the second best shooting guard in the draft that’s explosive and shoots the ball very well. If he works on his handles then he could be an elite guard for a long time.
8. Detroit Pistons: Michael Carter-Williams, PG- Syracuse

Rumor has it the Pistons want to move Brandon Knoght to the shooting guard position if that’s the case they will need a big guard who can defend larger 2 guards that Knight could not guard and handle point guard duties. Enter the 6’7 guard from Syracuse. Sees the floor well, has a good bit of speed and very quick hands defensively. He’d be a perfect addition to an up and coming team.
9. Minnesota Timberwolves: Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, SG-Georgia

He shoots the ball extremely well, and with defenses collapsing on the driving Ricky Rubio he’ll be able to knock down plenty of shots that way or when the double team rushes toward Kevin Love.

10. Portland Trailblazers: Anthony Bennett, PF- UNLV

Very skilled although he could be a bit undersized for the 4 and is not quick enough to play the 3. That said very good ball handler, has a very good and consistent shot. He has a history of injury but if healthy he could be a very solid contributor.

11. Philadelphia 76ers: Steven Adams, C- Pittsburgh

Given that the Andrew Bynum experiment was a massive flop I think that the only way to rectify that situation is to get the next best big man in the draft. He’s a bit raw but he showed massive improvement from the start of the season to the end of it. He’s a very efficient scorer and really good offensive rebounder.

12. Oklahoma City Thunder:C.J. McCollum, G- Lehigh

The elite level score that has been missing since the trade of James Harden to Houston he should be able to step right in and contribute. Good all around player has he averaged over 2 steals a game and uses his long arms to crash the board. Spelling either Westbrook or Sefalosha he makes the most sense for the Thunder at this point.

13. Dallas Mavericks: Kelly Olynk, C- Gonzaga

"For the last time I'm not Rebecca Lobo!!!

Olynk is a skilled 7 footer who has pretty good range and passes the ball well. Not great defensively but he’s not awful either and given some of the centers that have gone through Dallas he could start immediately.

14. Utah Jazz: Shane Larkin, PG- Miami

A deceptively freakish athlete as he has an incredible vertical, great speed, and incredible vision. Handles the ball well and is a very good shooter. With athletes such as Gordon Hayward, Alec Burks, and Derrick Favors they could be an extremely exciting team to watch out in the land of Mormons.

Well folks, there you have it, the 2013 NBA draft lottery. I’m sure I may have gotten 1-3 right but this is how these teams should draft. The Puma is never wrong.