Mock Draft Extravaganza!

It's draft time once again and I could not be happier to have some form of distraction here to from the day to day dumpster fire the world has become. And for once I think I have a chance to get my top ten predictions correct given that workouts etc have been limited due to the virus.

Look at that glorious mane.

I could parlay this into a gig on ESPN like Mel Kiper baby! Ah who am I kidding, I could never replace that magnificently coifed SOB. Oh well, without further ado, I give you the top 10 picks of the NFL draft.

1. Cincinnati: Joe Burrow, QB- LSU
This is the first time in a long time that I remember there being such a slam dunk number one. From energizing a fan base stand point, you got the Ohio kid coming off a Heisman winning and National Championship winning season.

Oh not to mention he was really, really, really good. I mean record setting good. I thought I would never seen a season like Cam Newton's season at Auburn where it was so obvious who the best player on the field is but lo and behold Joey Burreaux stepped up. Don't Bengal this up ok Cincy?


2. Washington: Chase Young, DE- Ohio State
With Ron Rivera at the helm I have no doubt that he can make Dwayne Haskins work as their guy going forward. So with that said you go with the other player who appears to be a slam dunk in Young.

Wanna double team? Sure, he'll split the double team. He can bull rush you, speed rush, defend against the run, literally anything asked of an edge rusher, Young can do. You would have to be a moron to pass this guy up. 

3. Detroit: Jeffrey Okudah, CB- Ohio State
Detroit has been rumored to trade this pick to Miami and they would choose 5th. Regardless of here or at 5 I have them picking the best defensive back in the draft since they keep trading their best ones away for...reasons?

Anyway Okudah is a lock down corner who inevitably will run afoul with Matt Patricia for working out with Richard Sherman or something, and be traded thus ensuring an unstable secondary for years to come! 


4. New York Giants: Isaiah Simmons, LB/S- Clemson
If you watched college football closely this season there was no way you could see the Clemson defense and not know that Simmons is probably the most versatile defender since Derwin James and possibly since Tyrann Mathieu.

Need a safety? He got you. Need a linebacker? He got you. If pressed into rushing the quarterback, or stopping the run? Boom! So while the Giants are a mess everywhere but running back, I say grab the best guy you can at this spot.


5. Miami: Tua Tagovailoa, QB- Alabama

The Dolphins last season seemingly were tanking for Tua, then something magical happened. Brian Flores turned out to be a good coach and they won some games they frankly shouldn't have. Well the fates are smiling on them as Tua with his injured hip will probably be available at 5 barring a team jumping them in the draft. Tua is an unflappable quarterback, and while he wasn't the most durable at Bama I think his awareness can improve, and sitting behind Fitzpatrick for a season to ensure he is fully at 100 percent will be a god send for the talented lefty.

6. Los Angeles Chargers: Justin Herbert, QB- Oregon
The Chargers said goodbye to the man who has been their franchise quarterback for the last 15 seasons and as much as I love Tyrod Taylor I don't think the Chargers will be hitching their wagon to him long term.

In Herbert you have a project who won't be hurt by sitting for a season or two while you have a competent quarterback in Taylor. He has the size, arm strength and mobility that teams seem to love these days, and this could be the best case scenario for him.









7. Carolina: Meckhi Becton, LT- Louisville

Carolina has a new franchise QB in Teddy Bridgewater, inked their franchise RB Christian McCaffrey to a long term deal, so the thing to do is to get a cornerstone on the line to help both of those guys out. Enter Becton from Louisville who has the size, speed and footwork to be a force for many years to come.


8. Arizona: Jedrick Wills, OT- Alabama

Arizona has gone from a joke to a team on the rise in pretty quick order. Kyler Murray proved himself to be a solid choice last year and a dynamic playmaker. Kenyan Drake has been a great addition at running back allowing them to trade away David Johnson and free up cap space. Oh and they got a litle guy named DeAndre Hopkins to add with Larry Fitzgerald. All you gotta do is give Murray time, which the athletic and ridiculously strong Willis can most definitely do. Keep an eye on the team in the dessert.


9. Jacksonville: Ceedee Lamb, WR- Oklahoma
The Jaguars appear to be all in on Gardner Minshew so given that they released Marquise Lee they should go ahead and get him a number one receiver.

While I would go with Jerry Jeudy out of Alabama, most draft boards seem to love Lamb and for good reason. He's a big athletic go and get it playmaker that any team could go for. The Jags would be wise to give Minshew all the weapons they can and this is certainly a wise play.


10. Cleveland: Tristan Wirfs, LT- Iowa 
While the most physically impressive lineman at the combine was Becton from Louisville, the most technically sound was probably Tristan Wirfs and it should come as no surprise that he is an Iowa Hawkeye.

Say what you will but that Kirk Ferentz knows what he is doing when it comes to offensive linemen and boy did he do a hell of a job here. Nick Chubb, Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr. will love the kid from Iowa giving Baker Mayfield more time to get them the ball.

Alright there we have it, so check in on the draft this week, I know you don't got anything else going along. Let's compare and see how I manage to get these wrong, which I am of course wont to do.

The Last Dance Part I & II

One thing that anyone who knows me can tell you about me, is I love basketball. I love college basketball, foreign leagues, I've even stopped to watch people playing in a park before. But the core of my love of basketball, where it went from being just something I liked to do, to something I was downright obsessed with and that would be the Chicago Bulls.

The Chicago Bulls, a favorite of my uncle but more importantly it had my favorite player, and the favorite player of my entire world, Michael Jeffrey Jordan. I could tell you everything about Jordan, I studied his game, I studied his card, and would beg nonstop for my mom to rent copies of Air Time, Above and Beyond, Come Fly with Me and so many others. So you best believe, I was watching the long awaited documentary on the 1998 Championship squad.

I fancy myself as a guy who knows his fair share about the Chicago Bulls but even I found out some things that I didn't know about in the first two hours of this 10 hour basketball extravaganza So without further ado I give you five of the takeaways I took from this work of art.

*Michael Jordan actually showing human frustration with his minutes restriction 

These bums are trash!

I grew up with memories of Michael Jordan as a methodical and almost surgical technician of the art of basketball. But seeing footage of him as a frustrated second year player who just wanted to win while management was seemingly more focused on tanking for draft picks made him an almost sympathetic figure. It's this vulnerability that I never remember seeing growing up. Quite refreshing.

*Jerry Krause...was complex.
Jerry Krause was a very good general manager. But as pointed out (repeatedly) in the documentary is that he had to basically be the center of attention and get all the credit.

"So uh...you ever heard of Tim Floyd?"

So much so that he was ready to break up the greatest dynasty since the 60s Celtics just to rebuild and show he could do it again. So while I as a fan can admit I will never really get over that, I can also admit he made some amazing moves, that helped set this dynasty up. But uh yeah, you don't let Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen roll because you got a hunch about a fishing buddy.

*Charles Oakley is a damn savage.

I didn't really need this documentary to tell me this but it is good that the masses knows not to mess with Oak. This is more of a public service announcement than anything else.

*Scottie Pippen is a wildly more interesting person than I gave him credit for.

Scottie Pippen was wildly underpaid for his tenure with the Bulls. However, we all assumed it was because he had shitty advice or the Bulls somehow duped him. When they reveal the traumatic stroke suffered by his father coupled with the accident that paralyzed brother you understand why even against the advice of the owner of the team, he would choose the long term security over whether or not he would be fairly compensated because he couldn't risk his family security for anything.

*The Bulls Traveling Cocaine Circus

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Bulls was wilding! Were they being run by Rick James?


Well folks I gotta say, rarely does something ever live up to the hype and dare I say exceeds it. Is it because I'm a Bulls fan? Probably. But even novice basketball fans can join in on the fun that this is, because let's be honest we don't have anything else to do.

Alright, ya'll be easy. Peace.

NBA Award Season Comes Early!

Hot damn it's been a crazy month since the last time I broke out my trusty quill and paper. Let's see, me and the lady finished a season of Narcos, have been really getting into using the Instant Pot....oh yeah and the whole damn world came to a screeching halt! So given that the NBA decided to suspend the season, and rightfully so, I guess I'll go ahead and do my awards for the season now because I am in need of content and I frankly need the damn distraction.

Rookie of the Year:

Ja Morant, PG- Memphis

I was wild tempted to make this a tie and also have Zion Williamson as the co-rookie of the year. However I can't let the amazing start Zion got off to negate the work that Morant has done all season. For one just the sample size of the two can not be ignored. Zion played 19 games this season, Ja played 59 games. In the 59 games he averaged 17.6 points, with 3.5 rebounds and almost 7 assists a night. Zion was no slouch, averaging 23.6 points and 7 rebounds but the Grizzlies being in playoff contention and the entire season worth of work gives him the edge.

Sixth Man of the Year:

Dennis Schroeder, G- Oklahoma City

So basically this year the choice came down to Schroeder and Lou Williams who basically has taken the Jamal Crawford spot as "well of course he's sixth man of the year." Schroeder has been an integral part of a rebuilding Thunder squad that would have made the playoffs. He has finally found a groove as the spark on the bench averaging 19 points a game, 4 assists and 3.7 rebounds a game. And this isn't a "I'm tired of voting for Lou Will" vote either. He has scored more, has more rebounds, and a higher 3 point percentage. Truly a worthy winner.

Coach of the Year:

Nick Nurse- Toronto Raptors

Sit your ass down Drake

This year the coach of the year has to be Nick Nurse. While Budenholzer from Milwaukee and Spoelstra from Miami most certainly deserve a few votes, the job Nurse has done keeping the Raptors afloat after losing Kawahi Leonard and then dealing with a spate of injuries has shown that last season was no fluke and going forward the Raptors are going to be in great hands. 

Most Improved:

Brandon Ingram, F- New Orleans

Since coming over from the Lakers and the preseason injury to Zion Williamson, no one on the Pelicans has stepped his game up more than Ingram. The skinny superstar from Duke increased his points per game by over six points a night, has added one more rebound and one more assist per night to the stat line as well. The biggest jump has been going from a 32% three point shooter to almost 40%. Simply put he is living up to the draft position now that he is on a team to maximize his talents.

Best Move of the Year:

The Anthony Davis Trade

Speaking of Ingram, the move of the year has to be the trade of Anthony Davis to the Lakers for pretty much the entire young core of the  Lake Show.  And this is the rarest of rare cases where there is no loser to the trade. Now that's not to say the Pelicans got equal value, talent wise for Davis as I mean that was gonna be impossible. But in terms of team building?

Jack pot. Getting Lonzo Ball who is an amazing passer and finds Zion basically from any spot on the floor, the solid Josh Hart coming off the bench and the above mention most improved player Brandon Ingram.

Most Valuable Player:

Giannis Antetokounmpo, F - Milwaukee

The runaway choice for MVP has got to be Giannis. Simply put he was the best player on the best team and improved his numbers in some very impressive ways. He is scoring 2 more points a game, getting one more rebound and he's doing this in 2 less minutes a night.

Nothing but respect for my MVP

So despite what James Harden says, averaging 29 points, 13 rebounds, leading the league in PER and becoming a credible threat from the 3 point line as a 7 foot monstar are all ridiculous and definitely worthy of being the Chocolate Puma's choice for MVP.

Alrighty folks I suppose that this will be the last basketball related post for a while, I mean at least until the NBA Draft talks speed up. So come back to this, enjoy it, breathe it in. 

Until next time ya'll be easy.

Black History Month Is Cancelled!

You know what, Black History Month is cancelled. This entire month I have been hyped as I always am in February for my fellow chocolate folks to get the shine and praise we deserve all year. But this year? You people have gone too god damn far!  Yeah that's right. Don't believe me? Allow me to run down the ways in which the universe won't let me be happy.

*Cancellation of High Noon

Anyone who reads this or listens to the Chocolate Puma Podcast (Find it wherever you subscribe to your podcasts!) knows that I am a huge fan of the work Bomani Jones does at ESPN. He speaks for a largely unrepresented segment of sports fans. 

Yet this week, on the day his co-host's wife had their first child no less, it was announced that High Noon was cancelled. It was refreshing to see two guys who, like myself use stats to make sports arguments, yet still had the skill to handle things such as the death of Kobe Bryant with the respect and nuance. Instead look forward to the show getting replaced by some dudebro who will yell about guys needing to shut and play ball instead of having the deep conversations that sports is capable of having but we don't because people can't seem to handle that.

*Deontay Wilder getting KNOCKED OUT

I mentioned this on the podcast this week, but come on Wilder. You had me out here, touting the Bronze Bomber. He was gonna, in the year of our Lord 2020, go out there and put a performance on for the ancestors. 

This is so dope, and he lost so bad.

Then he walked to the ring in this bad ass black, sparkling, costume that made it looked like he just stepped out of My Hero Academia or some shit and I knew it was about to go DOWN. And it went down alright. A thorough ass kicking by someone who I had previously, loudly, and let go to the notes...ah yes incorrectly characterized as overrated. As I previously stated in the podcast, no one is gonna be mad if you lose to a 6'9 gypsy who is fast as hell but you can't get thoroughly out classed and then blame the loss on the costume you voluntarily wore to the ring. 

*Gayle King, Snoop Dogg, Kobe and Oprah

I'm gonna keep this rant short. The main point is Gayle King deserved none of the vitriol she received for asking Lisa Leslie in a heavily edited clip about Kobe Bryant's rape case. None. She isn't, nor is Oprah out to get black men out the paint. I have seen so many, "well what about Harvey Weinstein" ass deflections in the last month it's ridiculous. There have been numerous articles, documentaries and people speaking out on Weinstein so just because some ashy ass dude with questionable spelling hasn't heard of it, is not indicative of a massive conspiracy against black men. The criminal in this case is Harvey Weinstein, blaming the women he knew is fucking stupid. And Snoop? Yeah what better way to honor the fallen Kobe, who in the last few years was an outspoken advocate for women in sports than to disrespect a journalist and call her a "dog faced bitch" for asking a question about a significant event in the man's life. Good job Calvin. 

*Trump and his "Blacks."

And now the shit cherry on the sundae that inspired this whole damn post. Earlier today I saw a post about an unscheduled event at the White House. Like a moron, I said well let me click on this and get pissed off. And pissed off I was! I saw ya'll president sitting there with all the blacks he could find. There was a who's who of coonery!

I wanna call all these people something that would make my mama mad.

There was Candace Owens, Diamond and Silk and a whole gaggle of pastors who have been on his books from the get go. A few called him the best president since....that's right Lincoln! Because when you think black people you think Lincoln. Some of these jackwagons even had the unmitigated gall to call that tangerine hued ass clown "the first black president." Despite the face we had a black man in office for 8 whole ass years! Then to top it off, he has these charlatans, these con artists of blackness all pray for him and he sits there, smugly looking in the camera as if to say, "these are my blacks." 

So we got that going for us. You know what, I'm gonna take March and make that Black History Month II: Electric Boogalo. That's right I'm Columbus-ing the next month! We gonna keep doing this shit till we got it right! 

Your move America. 

Episode 26: Black Historrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

In which I wrap up another Black History Month with some lows but also some dizzying highs! Tried to stay on topic but I'll admit I did rant a little. My bad! 

Episode 25: "What's Love?"

In which your boy recounts the initial meeting of Mrs. Puma and tops it all off with a classic tale of romance that I grew up on. It's all love and positive vibes this week baby! 

Episode 24: Revenge Season, Friend Season

In which I give more thoughts of a negative manner to the vindictive commander in chief, think back about how I miss the old Kanye, straight from the go Kanye, Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye, and end with a little tribute to my friend.