NCAA: Where Clownish Actions Continue To Be The Norm.

Ah yes, you smell that? Why it’s time for young Puma to go insane on some hypocrisy being spewed by the NCAA. So sit back and hold on to your butts because this is about to get real. There is nothing in this world that angers me more than the NCAA. And by this I refer solely to the governing body of college athletics and not the games themselves. For years they have pimped the athletic exploits of teenagers to the tune of billions of dollars under the guise of “amateur” status and providing the kids an education. When in actuality the only thing amateur is clowns running the show and they do provide a very valuable education in that life isn’t fair. 

This isn’t a written to say pay college athletes, I have written that before. This is written just to show you the hypocrisy and ridiculousness of the NCAA. They love to spout the tales of the student-athlete and have even exploited cases of exceptional young people as an example that their way is the best way (see: Ray Ray McElrathbey). What they fail to mention is a lot of times in what is becoming the norm for the NCAA, they screw the kid over.

Let’s look at the tale of Jonathan Benjamin, a basketball player for University of Richmond who has long held the dream of creating the next Nike who has been deemed ineligible for attempting to follow his dream. You see after a class project to start his own company he expanded on the project and sunk his birthday money into it and began to actively pursue his own business with the advice of his professor. The NCAA found out about it and deemed him ineligible because: “A student-athlete may establish his or her own business, provided the student-athlete's name, photograph, appearance or athletics reputation are not used to promote the business.” Yep. Work hard for us, sell our merchandise, but the moment you try and do it for yourself which in no way conflicts with your NCAA obligations get the hell out of here.

"Working hard for yourself? Violates the NCAA spirit. Excuse me while I collect my 1.7 million dollar salary."

"Not to sound arrogant, but the football team won a national championship my freshman year, conference championship my sophomore year. The basketball team made the Sweet 16. We helped the school get publicity. Meanwhile, the academic side is telling us that this is a place to grow and spread your wings. Only we can't do that fully. And some of us were studying marketing!” Benjamin said.

Earlier this year Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops said fans don’t come to see the names on the back, they come to see the names on the front. That’s true when it comes to watching a game, when it comes to selling merchandise however the name on the back matters very much. Don’t believe me? 

The NCAA owns Muhammad. 

Even disgraced players can't get their names back.

The NCAA owns the name Clowney.

The NCAA owns the name Manziel.

And it’s not just about money, sometimes the NCAA does things that are just heartbreaking or cringe worthy. Take the case of Kerwin Okoro, an Iowa State basketball player who is transferring to Rutgers University. Usually a player has to sit for a year, even though coaches can move from school to school with no waiting but that’s another tale, there is a hardship provision that waives that year long wait. Now I don’t know what constitutes a hardship but I would venture a guess that losing your older brother to colon cancer and your father to a stroke and moving back to be close to your mother should be an acceptable reason to seek that provision. Not according to the NCAA. You can move back to take care of sick family members but damn it if they have passed away they could care less. Hasn’t this kid been through enough?

And these aren’t the only stories that will make you blood boil. Hell the NCAA tried to block a former marine from playing football because he played in a rec league while SERVING HIS COUNTRY! If anybody deserves to play football it’s the guy who put his damn life on the line ensuring the freedom of this ridiculous ass institution to block him from playing a game which that same ridiculous ass institution will turn around and sell his jersey and profit from his on the field play.

What a swell group of guys. How could you not defend these guys? Excuse me while I vomit.

Top Fantasy Tight Ends of 2013 Ya'll!

In my ongoing quest to give you all the information you need going into fantasy football drafts I am here to help out. Enjoy my loyal follower(s).

5. Rob Gronkowski: New England

You may be asking why the hell is the Gronk rated so low? Well yesterday it was announced he could go on the PUP list meaning he would miss at least 6 games. That said when healthy the Gronk is the best tight end in the league. He's one of those guys who does not stop and is actually good and not a scrappy hustler. So keep an eye on his health status as he could be a steal this year.

4. Tony Gonzalez: Atlanta

Gonzalez is literally someone who makes me sick. Not out of anything he's done, this is completely out of jealousy. This is a guy who is going into his 17th season in the league at one of the most physically demanding positions yet he still consistently is in the league leaders among tight ends in receiving yards and touchdowns. I certainly don't expect this to continue.

3. Jason Witten: Dallas

"The fuck I need a helmet for!?!"

 One of the best tight ends who is quickly reaching the Gonzalez level of me hating him is Jason Witten. This guy is one of the toughest guys on the field. Not only is he is tough, he's fucking good. He had over 1,000 yards and was one of the few bright spots in the Lone Star state last year. With Miles Simon on the down slope expect Witten to keep it up.

2. Vernon Davis: San Francisco

I think he is going to be an absolute monster this year. When Michael Crabtree went down with the ACL DAvis suddenly became the best friend of Kaepernick. Expect him to spend some time lining up at wide receiver and getting frequent targets when the many competent running backs and Kap get tired of running all over opposing defenses.

1. Jimmy Graham: New Orleans

 

Well number one on the tight end list is probably a shocker. Graham has been one of the top tight ends for the past few years but honestly the guy didn't really know how to play the position. As he gets more and more comfortable we could see a Gronk like explosion in the 2013 season. And it certainly doesn't hurt to have Drew Brees throwing the ball to you. 

Well folks only one more to go folks, follow my tips and you'll finish at least .500. 

Wide Receiver Rankings of the Puma

In an ongoing expose of epic proportions the Chocolate Puma has taken the time to answer the question you didn't ask and give you his predictions of who to target for your fantasy football drafts. You're welcome.

5. Julio Jones: Atlanta

Let's justify the high price in auction leagues!

Last season he had 1,200 yards and 10 touchdowns and that was as the second option. I expect this season for those numbers to be somewhere around that range with Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez and the newly signed Stephen Jackson. Certainly looks like a good decision to part with all those draft picks to get this now.

4. A.J. Green: Cincinnati

Much like in college AJ Green and Julio Jones are near the top of the heap at their position. I expect Green to be a fantasy monster as there really isn't a clear second receiver in the Bengals lineup although tight end Jermaine Gresham and rookie Tyler Eifert will dip into his numbers I doubt it's enough to put a dent into his fantasy numbers. 

3. Dez Bryant: Dallas

A beast on the field, Dez Bryant will catch anything you throw his way and he'll do it with a broken finger as he did much of last season. Tony Romo's number one target will completely eviscerated opposing defenses in the second half of the season and I certainly expect that to continue. He had seven straight games with a touchdown and in three of those he had multiple trips to the endzone. 

2. Brandon Marshall: Chicago

We are not worthy.

Now this entry makes me happy as hell to write. As a Bears fan we haven't had much to gush over offensively for a few decades (where have you gone Curtis Conway?!) Marshall didn't burst on the scene as he has been doing this for years but last year ghe seemingly took it up a notch as the Bears primary receiver  consistently beating double teams or out muscling the competition. Alshon Jeffrey should be improved, Earl Bennett is a good slot guy but those guys aren't taking targets from Marshall anytime soon. Expect mega numbers again son!

1. Calvin Johnson: Detroit

Refer to last year's scouting report:

"Because he's fucking Megatron."

There you have it folks. The Puma is out!

 

Running Backs To Hitch your Wagon To

You thought I was gonna stop with quarterbacks? Child please! We move on to the running backs suckas!

5. Matt Forte: Chicago
Alright this may be a homer pick but I don't care. Matt Forte is one of the top backs in the league and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me (not really, ya'll know I'm just playing.) He is a phenomenal reciever in the backfield, and with Marc Trestman calling plays running backs generally get plenty of opportunities to get receptions out the backfield.

Jazz hands!

4.  Jamaal Charles: Kansas City

I have him this low for two reasons really. One he seems to be kind of injury prone during the preseason, so if he can make it out with no major season threatening injuries I expect this burner to continue his trend of averaging 5 yards a carry. The second reason is this man.

"Averaging 5 yards a carry? Better dial up 15 straight passing plays."

Yes Andy Reid. While he is a completely solid coach he has a tendency to begin calling a lot of passing plays and very few running plays. So his production may dip a bit in that category.

3. CJ Spiller: Buffalo

This guy through no fault of his own is just a burden to have on your fantasy football team. Not because he fumbles or doesn't produce, it's because THEY REFUSE TO GIVE HIM THE DAMN BALL. The guy is electric. Speed, elusiveness, durable, the kid has it all. And if you're in a deep league that scores special team points he contributes in that capacity as well.

2. Marshawn Lynch: Seattle
Expect big numbers from Beast Mode with the injury to Percy Harvin, and the overall brittle nature of Sidney Rice over the past few seasons I think a running back who is durable and a big play machine who is a grown ass man will be the best friend of Russell Wilson.

And now number one...
1. Adrian Peterson: Minnesota


Duh.

There you go gang, these are the five guys you should target in all your fantasy football drafts.

Fantasy Football Extravaganza Part I.

Ah yes, friends and fans of the blog it is that time again. As a man who has made the championship twice in a decade and the proud owner of five teams this year I feel it is my duty to share some of the knowledge that has made me a legendary figure in the world of mediocre fantasy football owners. Without further ado I present to you the quarterbacks.


5.  Colin Kaepernick: San Francisco

"Keep focusing on the tatts..."

Kap is the real damn deal as a very disgruntled Bears fan found out when he took over for Alex Smith after an injury. The guy has a rocket for an arm, runs like he has been injected with cheetah blood, and has a solid running game not to mention the best healthy tight end in the game. I expect 25 or more touchdown passes and 5 or so touchdown runs as the Niners have a real good chance to get back to the Super Bowl.

4. Cam Newton: Carolina

I am an unabashed Cam Newton defender. I don't think we have ever seen a quarterback with his skill set ever in this league. The reason I do not have him ranked higher is frankly his supporting staff is a tad bit suspect. Steve Smith isn't getting any younger, his running game has been underwhelming, and while Greg Olsen, a favorite of the Puma, has been solid he won't be winning you many games. 25 td passes and 10 rushing tds are very real possibilities.

3. Tom Brady: New England

Never Forget.

Adding Danny Amendola should ease the burden of losing Wes Welker, and I believe that Lagarrette Blount and Steven Ridley in the backfield can hold serve until the return of Rob Gronkowski, you know the tight end that doesn't murder people.

2. Aaron Rodgers: Green Bay
As a Bears fan it pains me to say this but he's good. He's damn good. What is not good however is his facial hair choices. Hey don't judge me, it's all I got to criticize.

1.  Peyton Manning: Denver

So hey remember last year how I said he was gonna be average at best? Yeah...I was wrong about that. And this year the offense is even better. With Welker added to the duo of Demariyous Thomas and Eric Decker not to mention the rookie Montee Ball who should flourish in the Denver running scheme I expect big numbers from the elder Manning of the NFL.

There you go folks, the first of my 2013 fantasy football rankings. Follow my tips and you too can finish 8-5 and lose in the second round!

This Is Why I Am Angry and No I Am Not Sorry About It

This isn't the Chocolate Puma talking to you right now, this is Brian Thompson talking to you and I gotta tell you I'm angry. For the past week and a half I have been attempting to put into words how have felt and frankly the more time passes, the more segments on the news I see, and the more pieces I see written I just get angrier. So if you wanna see something light hearted check the archives or come back next week because I am about to get real.

I'm angry about the Trayvon Martin situation in Sanford, Florida. While I am not in agreement with the ruling that's not what angered me the most. What angered me the most was that it took nationwide protests to even get George Zimmerman arrested. Does anyone not notice how fucked up this is? They took the word of a guy who shot and killed an unarmed teenager and let him go home. Would you not be mad about that? I’m angry that I never once thought there would be a conviction of any kind because frankly I felt like the authorities there felt he had it coming.

Was I the only one angry that during the trial of Zimmerman, the unarmed teenager who was murdered in the street was the one on trial? And frankly I was angered and insulted by the news reporting that African Americans were going to riot at a not guilty verdict. Like we're so animalistic and savage we can't take bad news or an unsatisfactory outcome?

I'm angry that every time disappointment in the end result of this trial was mentioned some talking head parrots one of two talking points. "Well there are children who get killed all over the country every day," and "well what about black on black crime?" Ass clown what makes you think I am incapable of being upset about more than one injustice at a time? I was and suspect many other African Americans reacted so strongly to Trayvon's story because we can relate to it. I can't count the number of times I have ran to the store or to grab food in just a hoodie or t-shirt. Does that mean I deserve to be shot on the street? We were angry about Trayvon because his story was actually told. He represented those children who seemingly were forgotten by the national media and for the most part the local media.

I'm angry that this kind of injustice is looked at as an anomaly. Unarmed black men are killed and it's rarely reported. Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Kimani Gray, Kendrec McDade, Travares McGill and many more all met the same fate as Trayvon and the judicial system felt their lives did not matter as their killers walked free or got less time than say someone who stole a loaf of bread.

I'm angry that every day I have to worry about if I have to deal with someone judging me that threaten my well being. Every day I walk the street with my head on a swivel, not for the thugs that the national media reports on but for your George Zimmermans of the world, someone who takes it upon themselves to unfairly judge me, deem me a threat and cause harm to me.

I'm angry that people who know nothing of my struggle and that of every other young black man feel they can tell me to calm down, or I'm playing the race card. Acknowledging unfairness and discrimination is not playing the race card. I got into an argument with one of these advice givers recently about use of the "n" word. And I was told because I get offended when white people use it yet not when black people use it and was using my race card or flaunting "black privilege." So black privilege is being able to say the "n" word and get sickle cell anemia. Well ain’t that awesome.

What makes me downright furious however is that if I have a son one day I will have to sit down and not give the birds and the bees talk but instead give a "so this is how you have to act in society so you’re not unfairly judged and you still may be unfairly judged" talk. Your very existence has already been deemed a threat to some. That he has to sometimes swallow his pride and sometimes do things to let scream to the world "hey! I'm safe!" People think thugs run Chicago but I have had more guns pulled on me by Chicago Police than any street punk. And each time that happened guess what I was doing...walking to the train or going home from working out. You know suspicious shit.

So there you have it folks, these are the irate rantings of an angry black man. Someone who since he has been over the age of 10 has had to deal with stares as though I am going to rob someone, being followed in stores, unfairly judged and many more I won’t get into. I don’t write this to garner sympathy or blame white people, I write this so anyone who was curious as to why this case hit home could understand what black men who say “I could have been Trayvon” mean.

Thanks for your time folks. I’m about to go look at YouTube videos of baby otters to calm down.

Peace.

I'm a Dog Person

I have never been what one would call a dog person. Sure growing up there was the occasional pet canines such as Little Puppy (cut me some slack I was 3) and Milton. But my budding friendships with my four legged companions were cut short when thieves stole both dogs which is actually quite common in Mississippi. Through these events I had come to the conclusion that dogs just were not meant to be for the Puma of Chocolate persuasion. That was until a Saturday visit to a local shelter and the first dog that strolls in changed my mind immediately.

Sir Franklin of the House Thompson

 I remember it like it was 8 weeks ago; the door opened and in strolls a short legged Corgi-Spaniel mix that plopped right down at my feet. If I could have walked out with him that moment I would have. He had won me over. He was so relaxed, so calm, and overly lazy. He was just like me. I left there without him but a mere two days later I was back and walked out the door with this delightful weirdo.

The first few days were filled with feeling each other out, what he could do and what he couldn’t do. Very early on it was evident he had a home before as he was house broken pretty well and was a bit quiet. But there were some rough patches, he had a freak out moment where he just wouldn’t move off the couch so old Puma sat up with him all night, patted his head and we watched tv literally all night. Around 5 am he felt comfortable enough to hop off the couch and follow me outside and give chase to a few squirrels. After that one rough night my little buddy appeared to be a changed dog. He’d hop on your lap as soon as you sat in the chair in my living room, began to figure out when he was in best position to get a treat, and of course his pension for falling asleep in the oddest positions ever.

Who sleeps like this?

 So after about 5 weeks of awesomeness together the decision was made to have a temperament test done by a trainer who came highly regarded after seeing a few disturbing characteristics most notably attempting to bite my niece. The news that came from that wasn’t good. Apparently the prior home I suspected he had been in earlier had been a bit violent as he had been overly corrected to the point of fear to growl which is how you know a bite is imminent. Because of this it was suggested he be placed in a home where there were no children and minimal social activities. Crushed, saddened, deeply depressed the next day my little buddy was taken back to a fantastic shelter where later that evening he was placed with an older couple with no children and a large yard for his goofy run to get plenty of action.

So here I sit, entering week two of no spastic jumping when I enter the room, atrocious smelling farts, and hearing scratching at the door whenever I went to the bathroom and while I am comforted by the fact he is in a home where he is comfortable and not stressed whenever someone new comes in it has been by no means easy.

Very different reactions to a torrent of farts.

I still wake up every morning around 5:30 because someone wouldn’t let me sleep in, I plan social activities still around getting home to let him out, and find myself looking from my bed hoping to see him sprawled out.

But alas the asshole-ish nature of another human may have made him not the right fit at the current moment. I am comforted that he had a good home and saw that not all people are ass clowns. So that’s it. Will I get another dog again? You bet I will. And I will destroy your Twitter, Instagram and Facebook feeds with pictures of him.

Why? I guess you could say I’m just a dog person.

Special buddies.