Bear...Down.

As a father you always want the best for your child. You see this was a sentiment that I understood the concept of but didn't truly get until the birth of my son. My son Julian is a a sweet boy, intelligent, kind, and quite the little athlete. There is literally nothing I wouldn't do for the boy and wanting to see him succeed emotionally is extremely important to me. In this regard I feel I may have failed my boy. 

You see, it was me who introduced one of the most toxic things any father could have done. Know that my intentions were pure, but after much introspection, I feel I may have unintentionally harmed my pride and joy. How you may be asking at this point? Well you see, I am a lifelong Chicago Bears fan, and now because of me...my son has doomed himself to being a fan of a team that consistently plays in his face. And it's all my fault. 

It hasn't been all bad times.

While I have made it clear he is free to root for any team he pleases (except the Green Bay Packers, I have to put my foot down somewhere) he has seen the pain and angst that consumes me every Sunday, sometimes Mondays and a couple of Thursdays a year. And for reasons unbeknownst to me he said sign me up for that. 

In his first season of really watching this kid has gone through a gamut of emotions. We get the first pick, and we draft the best quarterback prospect in years. Things are looking up right? They immediately hire an offensive coordinator with a milquetoast reputation and retain a head coach who had a proven record of losing close games. What could possibly go wrong?

Washington, October 2024. After an improbably comeback and taking the lead against another team with a rookie qb, the Bears give up the first of many inexplicable losses by giving up a touchdown on a Hail Mary, while a defensive back was taunting the crowd, instead of calling a timeout to settle the team, Matt Eberflus did nothing. Losses to Arizona and New England both showed an uninspired and not well coached team. Then the last three losses occurred and while I am seasoned in the Murphy's Law ass existence of this team, seeing my boy get hardened by these Monty Python style losses has been disheartening.

Please God don't screw this up.

Perhaps I should use this as a teachable moment. You see son, this is what bad football is. And this is what it turns you into, a 40 soon to be 41 year old man begging. pleading and hoping for just some semblance of competency. Learn from my mistakes, don't let the sins of the father befall the son. 

As long as it's not Green Bay, your dad will look on you with tears of joy watching you break the cycle.

So Long To Q.

Three weeks ago the most important figure in music history passed away. I have had thoughts but then America decided to elect a fascist dictator and I got distracted. Now that I need a welcome distraction *gestures wildly all around me* I figured I would take a few moments just to mention some of my favorite moments from the man. It is not often that you can credibly call someone the most important figure in music history yet still feel like he is underrated, somehow this is where we have arrived with Quincy Jones. 

First off this man's legal name was Quincy Delight Jones Jr. He was destined to be the coolest mofo in music based off the dopeness of the name alone. 

As a 14 year old he began to take music serious after meeting another teenager by the name of Ray Charles. Seriously, imagine what you were doing at 14. Was it performing and finding your lifelong passion alongside another music virtuoso? Didn't think so.

He spent his 20s traveling Europe and playing in bands for the likes of Elvis Presley and Dizzy Gillespie, and by the time he was 30 he musical director for the damn Rat Pack. That's right Frank, Dean, Sammy and the boys all depended on Q to get their music right. 

The man wasn't just a one trick pony in the production game. He produced everyone from Lesley Gore to of course Michael Jackson. He could be described as the music industry's Forester Gump in that every time there is a moment in music history he probably was behind the scenes making it happen. 

He has won an 28 Grammy Awards, Primetime Emmy, Tony Award, and was also nominated for an Academy Award. He did also win the Academy Awards Humanitarian Award which technically would give my man the EGOT. Hell who else could win 28 Grammys and when you look at it you go "ehhhhh, feels like he got short changed."

No one gave a better quote than Quincy Jones in interviews. Seriously. Here are just a few of the hits:

• “[Marlon] Brando used to go cha-cha dancing with us. He could dance his ass off. He was the most charming motherf—er you ever met. He’d f— anything. Anything! He’d f— a mailbox. James Baldwin. Richard Pryor. Marvin Gaye… Come on, man. He did not give a f—! You like Brazilian music?”
• “Starr had taken three hours for a four-bar thing he was trying to fix on a song. He couldn’t get it. We said, ‘Mate, why don’t you get some lager and lime, some shepherd’s pie, and take an hour-and-a-half and relax a little bit.’” They called in jazz drummer Ronnie Verrell to record the part.“Ringo says, ‘That didn’t sound so bad.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, motherf***er because it ain’t you.’ Great guy, though.”
• On meeting the Pope: "We had to go and kiss his hand before we left. And when I kissed his hand, I looked down and saw those shoes and it just fell out of my mouth,” said Jones. "I said, 'Oh, my man's got some pimp shoes on.' And he heard me."
• “[Chicago mobster Sam] Giancana. The connection was there between Sinatra and the Mafia and Kennedy. Joe Kennedy — he was a bad man — he came to Frank to have him talk to Giancana about getting votes. We shouldn’t talk about this publicly.

Quincy Jones lived to be 91 years old and it didn't seem like enough time. Even though his accomplishments were almost insane to think that one man could do so much I'll end with what I as a father would assume is his greatest accomplishment. His daughter Rashida penned a beautiful tribute that ended with "Daddy, it is an honor to be your daughter. Your love lives forever."

As a father, if when my time has come to an end, if my boy feels it has been an honor to be of me, then it's been a life well lived. 

Week 8 Look Ahead and Thoughts

We have reached the former half way point of the NFL season and ya boy has thoughts. But rather than keep them to myself I decided let me share them with you, my loyal tens of readers who still read this blog when I so decide to dust off the old keyboard. So in an effort to be more creative I am going to try and do this more often, but don't hold me to that because this is free content.  

Random Thoughts:

*Of course I am going to start my thoughts on the NFL in Chicago and the number one overall pick. I was skeptical at the end of last season. I thought the Bears should keep Justin Fields and trade the pick for more assets. I think in hindsight, that would not have been the best move. After a rocky first two weeks, I have become a believer. This kid has IT. 

What is it? He has great anticipation, insane throwing angles and maybe, just maybe the Bears finally have the guy. I'm so excited to see where this goes as he continues to get comfortable.

*Speaking of rookie quarterbacks, Jayden Daniels? I am sorry I was not familiar with your game. He has been wildly accurate, and appears to be the perfect quarterback for Kliff Kingsbury's offense, He is a bit hobbled coming into this week which was my most pressing concern regarding him.

He takes comically large hits but if he can learn to protect himself then he along with Caleb will be causing hell among NFL defenses for a very long time. 

*Derrick Henry is unreal. Seriously. 

*Lamar Jackson is 2nd in the MVP race currently. Giving him the juggernaut at running back and the continued growth of Zay Flowers he has the Ravens humming along quite nicely.

Will this finally be the year the Ravens break through? No idea but this may be the best equipped they have been and hopefully Lamar continues to mature.

*Jared Goff is the MVP currently. Those are words I never thought I'd type. He has been putting up an efficient almost surgical level dissection of NFL Defenses.

In the last 4 games the Lions have scored more touchdowns then had incompletions. He has completed 73% of his passes so far this season and even had a perfect game. As long as the Lions keep winning and he keeps the turnovers to a minimum then he will no doubt be the NFL MVP. 

*Justin Fields has earned a chance to start, even if it's not in Pittsburgh. 

He led the Steelers to a winning record in Russell Wilson's absence. He always has the respect of his teammates and put up respectable numbers. Even cut down on those pesky turnovers, with only one interception and no lost fumbles. He definitely has some things to work on and given the right offensive mind I believe that he will be a very good quarterback for a long time.  

Well enough of that, I'll get to week 8 picks not counting the Thursday night game and let you get the hell on. 

Week 8 Picks: Ravens over Browns
Lions over Titans
Chiefs over Raiders
Steelers over Giants
Jets over Patriots
Eagles over Bengals
Jaguars over Packers (Because Fuck the Packers)
Buccaneers over Falcons
Texans over Colts
Chargers over Saints
Bills over Seahawks
Bears over Commanders
Broncos over Panthers
Cowboys over 49ers
Cardinals over Dolphins

The NFL Season is Amongst Us

 Oh man, it has been a long time and boy have I missed you my loyal group of probably 5 readers at this point. Long time readers and friends of your boy will attest that your boy loves a few things. Family, friends and being a sports fan. Baseball, basketball, and of course football. Well as I type this we are on the precipice of the kickoff of the new NFL season and ya boy is undoubtedly hyped to levels that are bad for my joints as I jump in excitement. So it is in that spirit that I present you, person reading this and no doubt did not ask for this, some takes and predictions for the upcoming season. Are they hot takes? Mild takes? Who the hell knows, just celebrate the fact that I am writing and football is here.

*The Bears have a new quarterback and I am ready to love again.

Caleb Williams to no one’s surprise was the number 1 overall pick and with much trepidation at first I’m all in after seeing him perform on Hard Knocks and in the preseason. He has the arm strength, mobility and processing speed that we've never seen in Chicago. What can’t be measured is it just appears that he has it. I know, I know, that’s not something I that can be measured but you know it when you see it. Long story short, Caleb I’m ready to do this baby. 

*The Falcons remain a deeply confusing team.

The Falcons have had a solid offseason. They got a new coach, signed Justin Simmons, and traded for Matthew Judon. They also for reasons unknown gave an older quarterback with an achilles injury a metric crap ton of money. Then they went full Falcons and spent a top 10 pick on another quarterback. I have no idea how to gauge this team but damn it’s always interesting to see how they decide to confuse us.

*The NFC North will be the most competitive division.

The Lions and Packers both made the playoffs, the Bears and Vikings both were in it coming into the last few weeks of the season. Given that every team has improved in a way I would imagine even the last place team getting 8 wins.

A few award predictions:

MVP: Joe Burrow, QB- Cincinnati

Burrow is coming off an injury filled season but when he has played he has done so at a high level. This year he gets Ja’Marr Chase playing for a big contract, Tee Higgins playing for a big contract and a coach who likes to air it out. I think Mahomes/Lamar Jackson fatigue in conjunction with  big numbers from Cincy gets him the award. 

Offensive Player of the Year: Christian McCaffrey, RB- San Francisco

On thing about Kyle Shanahan is when he finds a guy he feels he can unlock in his offense they get plenty of opportunities. Pair that up with McCaffrey being a damn monster out there he would not shock me if he tops 20 total touchdowns this year and then gets completely ignored by his coach in the playoffs thus completing another confounding end to a team that realistically could have 2 Super Bowls right now.

Defensive Player of the Year: Micah Parsons, LB- Dallas

Micah is a beast. And when you pair the beastdom with the expiring contract someone is going to be going full scorched earth to try and make Jerry Jones completely reset the defensive end/linebacker market.

Coach of the Year: Matt Eberflus- Chicago

The 2^nd half of last season when he took over the defensive play calling we saw a different Bears team. With all of the upgrades and a confidence in his decision making from Poles and the front office I believe the Bears are poised for a playoff return and I wouldn’t be shocked if they even won a game.

Offensive Rookie: Caleb Williams, QB-Chicago

See point 1 above.

Defensive Rookie: Laiatu Latu

Latu thought his career was over but going to UCLA revitalized him. I would expect the Indy defense to rely on the first real help DeForest Buckner has had on the defensive line and he will have a double digit sack season.

 

Super Bowl:

Kansas City vs Green Bay:

As I have said the past few years, I for one will not be betting against Patrick Lavon Mahomes II.

Kansas City - 34

Green Bay -    21

Well there you have it. The predictions of a man who got an A+ grade on his fantasy football draft according to the fine folks at Yahoo and I think we can thrust them.

 

The Caitlin Clark of It All

 I really hate writing this. Truly I do, but something has to be said, and who better to say it than a 40 year old basketball fan whose opinion was most certainly not requested. As anyone who knows me will attest, ya boy is a lifelong fan of basketball and not just the NBA. High school, college, hell I have even stayed up far too late watching reruns of Euro league games. Of course this means I have followed the WNBA as well for quite some time. And as a long time fan I gotta say to some of the newer fans of the W, y'all are wilding and you know who you are wilding about. 

Caitlin Clark is an amazing player. She is a generational talent I’d say, but to think she was going to waltz into the WNBA and dominate as she did in college was foolish. Diana Taurasi, during the NCAA tourney told Scott Van Pelt: “Look, SVP, reality is coming. There’s levels to this thing. And that’s just life. We all went through it. You see it on the NBA side, and you’re going to see it on this side. You look superhuman playing against 18-year-olds, but you’re going to (be playing against) some grown women that have been playing professional basketball for a long time.” It was immediately dismissed as hating and jealousy. Well you can say many things about Taurasi, she’s an asshole, she’s a legend but you can’t say she’s a liar. 

Now the prevailing narrative being pushed is that because Clark has struggled it’s due to pettiness and jealousy. The refs are conspiring against her. It couldn’t possibly be because she is playing against better and more experienced competition. Nope it’s all a massive conspiracy against checks notes the most hyped WNBA prospect possibly since Candace Parker. You do realize that this theory is among the dumbest things I’ve ever seen, and I have seen 5 different Sharknado movies. Here are just a few of the reasons that’s dumb.

*The officiating is letting the defense get too physical.

The WNBA has always been physical. Don’t believe me? Check out the Candace Parker brawl when she was also a hyped rookie against the Detroit Shock.

It was a lot worse than an off the ball hip check foul. Britney Griner, Taurasi, Odyssey Sims, Ivory Latta, Seimone Augustus and on and on and on have all dealt with the increase in physical play from college to the pros. Toughen up buttercups (I refer to the Clark fans complaining.)

*The players should take it easy on her because she is bringing attention to the league.

No the hell they should not. Why are the women expected to not have the competitiveness that made guys like Kobe, revered. If Caitlin Clark is who we have been told she is then guess what? She is going to rise to the challenge of the competition. In fact I posit that it is downright insulting to say let her dominate like she is a Make - a - wish kid. 

*Clark is above criticizing. 

No one is above criticism. We can talk about her higher than usual turnover rate, we talk about how she also appears to be a line stepper. She gets in people’s faces, she pushes players, she is not some shrinking violet who as some have claimed, a victim of assault as others have claimed.

She can be a bit of a dirty player herself. I said it. She tells opponents to “shut the fuck up,” I’ve seen her yell at refs, and hell even some teammates. It’s ok to acknowledge the bad aspects of her game/personality while also admiring the good. I promise you can.

So yeah, that’s all I got. I am going to keep watching and supporting but as I have said numerous times, while I am not a fan of gatekeeping, if you haven’t been watching the WNBA, maybe shut the fuck up a little and learn before being so loud and oftentimes wrong. 

The Chocolate Puma Mock Draft

 Hot damn it’s been a while since I last dusted off the old blog but damn it I am still here, I’m still standing, I’m still strong! With that being said I figured why not give you all what not a single human being asked for. That’s right, it’s NFL draft season and ya boy figures you all may be craving the unsolicited opinion of a third place finisher in a fantasy football league. But first just a few hot takes.

*Did I not call the last two Super Bowls and how they would turn out? You’re damn right. Basically never bet against Patrick Lavon Mahomes II.

*What is it with the Jets and Falcons putting their hopes and dreams into old quarterbacks coming off Achilles injuries? Maybe I’m old school but that’s an injury that takes a little time to come back from.

*The Bears failed Justin Fields and I was happy to see him go. I think the world of the kid as a player and as a leader you can tell he was respected as the entire locker room rallied behind him. He could have been better but to hold a season where they tanked, a season where the head coach didn’t want to start him over Andy Dalton and whatever the hell Luke Getsy was doing just doesn’t seem right. At least the team did right by him and sent him where he wanted to go.

With those things off my chest here are my guesses on who the top ten picks in the draft will be, and no I am not predicting trades. 

1. Chicago Bears

Team needs: QB, EDGE, DT, WR, IOL, LB, S
Selection:  Caleb Williams, QB- USC

Who I’d Draft: Williams

Probably the biggest duh of the draft at this point. He is a former Heisman trophy winner and has all the physical tools you’d want. He is also coming into a situation that no other number one pick has come into as it’s not a complete dumpster fire. 

2. Washington Commanders

Team needs: QB, OT, EDGE, CB, WR, S, LB, IOL

Selection: Jayden Daniels, QB- LSU

Who I’d Draft: Daniels

The current Heisman Trophy winner, he is a guy who is accurate, throws a great deep ball and very mobile. He is a member of the skinny delegation (shout out) and he takes as one of my favorite podcasters ColeyMick describes as “cartoonishly big hits.” He’s gonna have to protect himself but he is definitely the best qb available at this point.

3. New England Patriots 

Team needs: OT, WR, QB, CB, WR, OT, LB, DL, TE

Selection: Drake Maye, QB - UNC

Who I’d Draft: Marvin Harrison Jr.

The new era of the Patriots is among us and they are going to need someone to be the face of the team. They signed Jacoby Brissett in the offseason and he will be a great bridge QB until Maye is ready to go. I would take MHJ because he may be the best WR prospect to come out in the last few years. If you saw the OSU qb last year you would definitely get why I am so high on him. And if you don’t take him then you also run the risk of upsetting his father which is not a wise thing to do.

4. Arizona Cardinals

Team needs: WR, EDGE, DL, CB, RB, IOL, LB, EDGE, DL
Selection: Marvin Harrison Jr, WR - OSU

Who I’d Draft: Trade Down

If MHJ is there you run to the podium and take him. If he isn’t I’d move down, get more draft capital because this team needs help all over the damn place.

5. Los Angeles Chargers

Team needs: WR, CB, DL, OT, LB, WR, RB

Selection: Joe Alt, LT- Notre Dame
Who I’d Draft: Brock Bowers, TE- Georgia

Joe Alt is probably the best tackle in the draft however the line wasn’t the weakest part of the team last year. Last year’s top pick couldn’t hold on to the ball, Mike Williams is gone, Keenan Allen is gone and Austin Eckler is gone. Given that Herbert needs someone to depend on you get the best TE prospect in years there and baby you got a stew going! 

6. New York Giants

Team needs: WR, IOL, RB, LB, S, CB, QB

Selection: Malik Nabers, WR- LSU

Who I’d Draft: Olu Fashanu, LT

They’ve got so many holes to fill and their head coach is on the hot seat. If you’re gonna go with the QB you paid then I would say it’s important to protect him. Fashanu would be the best available Tackle at this point. You could also trade down and still get him.

7. Tennessee Titans

Team needs: OT, DL, EDGE, LB, IOL, WR, CB, TE
Selection: Olu Fashanu, LT - Penn St. 

Who I’d Draft: Fashanu

Last year they picked Peter Skoronski and you may as well get a bookend tackle to pair with him. If you’re going to go with Will Levis at QB then you better damn sure protect him. Simple as that.

8. Atlanta Falcons

Team needs: EDGE, CB, DL, LB, S, WR, CB
Selection: Dallas Turner, Edge- Alabama

Who I’d Draft: Turner

No need to overthink it, while it’s tempting to get one of the many wide receivers there is no shortage of Offensive talent for the Falcons. The pass rush was abysmal last year and adding the best edge rush prospect is pretty much a no brainer.

9. Chicago Bears

Team needs: QB, EDGE, DT, WR, IOL, LB, S
 Selection: Rome Odunze 

Who I’d Draft: Odunze/Trade Down for more picks

Teaming one of the best receiver prospects in years with Caleb Williams, D’Andre Swift, DJ Moore, Keenan Allen and Cole Kmet would give the Bears the chance to put up numbers not ever seen by this franchise. It is a deep draft for receivers so I wouldn’t rule out trading down and amassing more picks and still get a quality number three receiver.

10. New York Jets

Team needs: WR, TE, OT, RB, S, WR, CB

Selection: Brock Bowers, TE - Georgia 

Who I’d Draft: Taliese Fuaga, T-Oregon St.

Look if Bowers is available you take him. That said the Jets have an octogenarian at quarterback and he is coming off a torn achilles. So given all of that plus a very porous, old and sometimes injured offensive line it may be worth getting some protection to keep that anti vaxxed assclown upright.

Well there you have it, I know it won’t go this way but hey I am not a medium who can see in the future and trades are so damn wild to predict. And let’s be real, if I did try and guess those trades it would be wrong and I would get mocked much like my 2012 assessment of Damian Lillard.

So I wish you all the luck to your teams.

Unless it’s Aaron Rodgers. I wish him failure.