Summer, Summer, Summertime!

It’s been a while since I’ve graced the old proverbial pen and pad for you fine folks who have come to depend on me, ya boy, for ridiculous takes that makes you call into question the quality of my home training which I can assure you that mama Thompson is not a fan of idiocy at times. So it is in this spirit that I give my thoughts on the coo coo bananas summer we have had thus far.

*Donald Trump got indicted…then he got indicted again…then he got indicted….then for good measure he got indicted one more time.

I was literally writing this and ol’ Trumpito got hit with another indictment. This man has more indictments than Nick Cannon has kids. He has more charges than Ariana Grande has broken homes in her wake. Seriously I don’t understand how anyone can think this is a conspiracy against this circus peanut hued con man. You mean to tell me the entire government is so scared of a failed businessman who only rose back to prominence due to a reality show during the last writer’s strike? Or is he an opportunistic ass clown who leans into the racist and sexist tendencies he has and that his base loves? I’m gonna go with the latter. Also he’s not this smart person so guess what happens to dumb criminals? They get hit with 91 combined charges. 

*Juvenile did a Tiny Desk concert and it was amazing.

A few months ago a twitter interaction with rapper Juvenile had him learn what NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert series was and in real time he learned of its existence and agreed to do one himself. What followed was a performance that brought me much joy and happiness. First of all it was the rap I listened to in high school done live and everyone performing you can tell are both healthy and happy which is a rarity unfortunately. We see Mannie Fresh do what he does and people finally get the genius of the man. And the thing that struck me most, we see two black men of a certain age laughing, having fun in a southern accent that made me yearn for the summers of my youth in Mississippi and my relatives in New Orleans. I listen to it often and frankly, I’ll continue to do so.

*Keke Palmer boyfriend fumbled the bag.

One of the most popular acts in all of Vegas currently is Usher who is doing a residency there. At a show this summer Keke Palmer and her girls decided to hit up the show and as a recognizable celebrity there Usher sang to her and there was a little two step shared between the two. Fairly innocuous stuff right? Well you know who had a problem? The baby papa of Keke who stated “But you a mom tho.” And from that this young man’s fate was sealed as the dirtiest of macks all saw this slight opening to shoot their shot with this baddie we’ve all grown up with. That brother was sent to the curb with the quickness of a 5 star recruit at the University of Georgia. Keke meanwhile has gotten her props as a baddie mom and even released a music video with Usher mocking the whole situation. Savage. 

*There was a ferry brawl and black Aquaman was there.

We are living in unprecedented times. And typically in these times we are so deep in the forest that we can’t see the trees. We need to slow down, take a deep breath and realize the magnitude of things happening. I am referring of course to the great Montgomery Sweet Tea Party where a few racists tried to jump a dude who was just doing his job and like Jason Aldean said “Try that in a small town” because the Alabama Avengers assembled like Voltron to come to his rescue and I, your boy, have not stopped laughing since.

El Cabong!

It’s like an SNL Stefon skit. “Ths fight had everything: a chair man knocking people out, a swimming teenager body slamming people, a hat used as a distress signal and men skipping happily to knock someone out. Just as a general rule, if you see grown men skipping towards you ready to fight, do not fight those men. They woke up praying for this and they see you as a blessing.

So that’s just the smallest snippet of this absolutely bonkers summer. Seriously the writers of 2023 are not on strike with the plot twists this wacky ass year has thrown at us.I haven’t even mentioned the tanking of twitter, a black woman in Alabama faking her disappearance and Tim Anderson getting knocked the hell out on national tv.

I’m tired ya’ll.