The Last Dance Parts 9 & 10

Well folks, the day we knew was coming but hoped wouldn't has come to our doorsteps. Yes the end of "The Last Dance."

It's been a great look into the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan, and while it has been criticized as being a propaganda piece for Michael Jordan, your boy does not give a damn. I feel like we got a look into one of the great dynasties in sports history through the cheesy hued eyes of it's best player. So without further ado, the final 5 takeaways from The Last Dance.

* We need more Steve Kerr content.
I had absolutely no idea about Steve Kerr and his father but man this guy had lived a LIFE before he even reached the NBA. Follow that up with becoming essentially the basketball version of Forest Gump, ya know minus the learning disability. He was a member of the greatest team ever, the 72 win Bulls, followed that with hitting game winning shots for the Spurs and getting two more titles.

Then he becomes a coach and wins 3 titles with the best team of this era. Also the guy is gold with the mic in front of him. Definitely a compelling and probably the most likable guy of the entire series.

* As annoying as Reggie Miller was/is/will be, that bastard was a killer.
Reggie Miller is a pest. He annoys the shit out of you and his voice at times is like nails on a chalkboard. On the court however? Yo. Reggie Miller was a damn killer. And while incorrect in his thought that he was gonna lead the team that vanquishes the Bulls, no other team got close in the 6 championship runs as the Pacers did.

When this Quark looking bastard was on...HE WAS ON. He could hit any shot he wanted over anyone. He's just so damn annoying.

* Flu game/Pizza game/Hangover game?
For years the story has been that Jordan caught the flu before one of the biggest games of the season and battled through. And while he did have some kind of sickness, he says it is due to food poisoning because he ate an entire pizza in one sitting. Mike. Sweetie. What the hell you doing?

Regardless of if he was hung over, had the flu or was really going through a case of food poisoning it's damn impressive. I have been in all three situations, and I wouldn't even want to leave the couch let alone go through an NBA finals game.

* When Rodman is off the clock, he is OFF THE CLOCK.
One of the great revelations of this series has been Dennis Rodman as a workplace hero. Earlier this series he asked for basically a mental health break and took 48 hours in Vegas with Carmen Electra which if we're being honest...I see the vision.

Now in the heat of a title run, he decided practice is not something I need right now. What I need is to go on Monday Night Nitro, join the NWO and then help assault Diamond Dallas Page. And while he was fined $10,000 for missing practice, he got $250,000 for going on Nitro. Chess, not checkers.

* Fuck Karl Malone as a staff, record label and a motherfuckin' crew.
My one big complaint about this series is that Karl Malone wasn't slandered enough. I do however take solace that on the biggest stage of his career he shat his pants twice. He bricked two free throws after Scottie Pippen told him "Mailman don't deliver on Sundays" and of course let MJ strip him on the final series of the Jazz season. I want to bottle that moment so I can sip on it like a fine wine.

There we have it. This was a series that I feel was made for me. I learned some things I didn't know, and I am further cements his GOAT status for me. However it's probably one of the more bias confirming docu-series of the last few years because if you hated Jordan you're gonna still hate him. If you loved him like I do, you're gonna love him more. I think more than anything I'm gonna miss logging on twitter at 9 pm every Sunday and with my internet pals, all joining together to slander Karl Malone.

Fuck that guy. He's the worst.

The Last Dance Parts 7 & 8

It's that time once again, when I your boy comes down from his cloud of nostalgic Chicago Bulls fandom and give you some of the takeaways from this weeks episodes of The Last Dance. And this one starts...heavy. I mean HEAVY.

*The death of James Jordan and it's fallout.
Alright this is the most tragic part of the episode obviously. What was most tragic to me is that before he could even put his father in the ground, there were rumors being reported as facts about his gambling being tied to his father's murder. I don't buy that for a single second.

First of all, if the mob or bookies are gonna send someone after you, they're not using two dumb 18 year olds who if caught would roll on everybody. Also, we know Jordan paid his debts. How do we know? There were certified checks to Slim Bouler paying his debts! You mean to tell me he will pay a Sam Jackson with a jheri curl wannabe but choose not to pay much more dangerous people for....reasons? Get out of here.

*MJ's baseball career.

Was Jordan's career a success? Not really but to me it was pretty impressive. Here we have a man who has been the greatest basketball player on the planet, quits and picks up a bat for the first time since high school and he didn't embarrass himself. He had 50 RBI, 30 stolen bases, and a 13 game hit streak. He only hit .200 but holy shit balls that is astonishing.

*The Orlando Magic were the shit.
During Jordan's return from baseball they were bounced from the playoffs by the upstart Orlando Magic. Now it's usually explained away by the Jordan was rusty narrative. Au contraire mon frère, the Magic were that shit. Dennis Scott, Nick Anderson, Brian Shaw, Horace Grant and lest we forget Shaq and Penny Hardaway.

Shaq was the most dominant big since Kareem and Penny was a dynamic guard who passed as well as anyone in the league and could score at will at times. Jordan even averaged over 30 that series. Gotta tip your cap, Magic were the better team.

*Scottie Pippen's disappointing 1.8 seconds.
I loved Scottie Pippen as a player, still do. But Scottie in this instance was wrong. It would be nice if the final play was drawn up for him but he was never a catch and shoot guy.

You know who was, and had been that season? Toni Kukoc. So I get the frustration but let's be real, Scottie probably doesn't hit that shot. Sometimes if you're the lead dog, you gotta know when to put the team in the best spot to win. In that moment, he failed.

*Scott Burrell, Ned Flanders of the NBA.
One of the funniest moments of the entire 2 episodes was the genuine befuddlement and slight disgust that MJ had with Scott Burrell.

Look at this nice bastard.

Not because of some character flaw or shitty game but because Burrell was as MJ put "just a nice guy." The idea of being nice was such a flaw to MJ on the path to greatness. So much so, that he actually gets emotional at the thought of players not giving a fuck to the level he gave a fuck.

Alright there we go, another week with me, giving you, my unsolicited opinion of the Bulls documentary which is probably not going to change anyone's minds but I think will provide some context. Next week the ride comes to an end, but who knows maybe your boy will do another statistical deep dive to give you, my loyal people the content you need.

The Last Dance: Part 5 & 6

It is that time once again, where I dive into my tweets and poorly written notes on my phone to go through the stand out moments of The Last Dance. And as is tradition there were no shortage of moments

*Kobe.

This past week just came right out the gate and hit a brother in the feels. I saw someone on twitter, forgive me for not remembering his name, if I find it I will add it later, but he said we saw Michael give Kobe his roses at his funeral and months later Kobe gives Michael his. It was kind of jarring to see him as it still doesn't seem real that he isn't here. That said hearing the close friendship the two shared in secrecy, and how Kobe felt the most important figure in his basketball life was MJ was very cool. Sidenote, I would pay all the money to see more of the old timers shit talking like Mike, Magic, Larry Bird and others were before the All-Star game.

*Converse and Adidas BOTH fumbling the bag.
So hearing that Nike was not in the top two for Jordan was something I did not know. Converse was king but basically told Jordan go do something before you come at us with an offer like this. Adidas was Jordan's fave but they were not in a good way at that moment.

Jordan seen here with the true boss of Nike

Then the upstart Nike, who owes so much to Mike's mom because she had to basically make him take a meeting with them made the best decision a company could have made. Here we are 35 years later and if you ask a serious basketball fan do they have a favorite pair of Jordans they can answer you without fail.


*"Republicans buy sneakers too."
So I feel like this has been wildly overblown. Given the context of when and how he said it, yeah totally makes sense. Now that doesn't give him a pass on being silent for years, but that just wasn't his path in my eyes. Hero of civil rights? Nope. But he's not a villain either. It's odd that he gets this rep of a guy who hates black people, but Jordan through both his ownership of the Hornets and the Jumpman brand has elevated so many people of color to positions of power that it deserves to be mentioned. Also a Michael Jordan endorsement was not the one thing that lost Harvey Gantt his Senatorial bid against Jesse Helms, the only man worse than Karl Malone in this story.


*The Dream Team
Holy crap. Talk about the greatest basketball ensemble ever assembled. And elephant in the room, Isaiah Thomas not being on the team. While Jordan gets the heat for him not being on the squad, notice no one was sticking up to get him on the team.

Like Ewing I too want to know why Laettner was there over Shaq.

Hell Chuck Daly was the head coach! If it was so important he would have done something to get him on the squad. That said, the footage of the greatest game ever played, aka the scrimmage of the hall of famers was amazing. For years I was sure this was the stuff of urban legends but just seeing these guys I grew up admiring (except Karl Malone, fuck that guy) was amazing. It was practice but my lawd these guys played with the intensity of a thousand suns.


*The King, the GOAT, John Michael Wozniak.

He hit the shrug on Michael Jordan after beating him in some depression era gambling. Your fave could never. 

Well folks that all I got for now. This series has been an amazing distraction given what we're going through currently. So if you would like to send me a piar of Jordan 11's, size 12 holla at me, otherwise ya'll be easy till the next time we meet in these blog streets.