"The 18-year-old was the 'primary
suspect' in the robbery of a convenience store moments before he was
killed.”
Sigh. I’m tired.
In Ferguson, Missouri
a predictable play is unfolding. A young black man is killed by the police and
instead of figuring out what happened the slandering of the victim begins. He
is painted as a thug. He is accused of crimes and labeled a suspect instead of
a victim. He is now charged with defending himself from the grave. And God
forbid he did anything wrong because in the eyes of many that justifies his
death.
Honestly I just can’t
even begin to put into words how this summer has made me feel. As a black man
in this country I am tired of having to always justify my damn existence. I
basically wrote this exact same piece in the wake of the murder of Trayvon
Martin. Michael Brown was just walking in the street. That was his crime. And
don’t bring up a “robbery.” The policeman that murdered him didn't stop him because
he was a suspect. He stopped him because he was a black man and as a black man sometimes
your mere existence is a crime. That’s the sad truth that is my daily
experience. As a black man that is such a sobering, disappointing, and
depressing portion of my reality that I can’t even explain. That’s not blaming
anyone that’s just a statement of fact. I have been told I am paranoid yet
every few days an unarmed black man is killed by the very people who are
championed to serve and protect.
And please if you come
to parrot some tired lines of “what about black on black crime?” please see the
door. Yes most murders that occur in the black community are committed by black
people but guess what...most white people are murdered by white people (84% if
you need a number). I have yet to hear what about white on white crime as a way
to distract from a travesty of justice such as this. What does black on black
crime have to do with the deaths of Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Oscar Grant,
Sean Bell, Amadou Diallo etc.?
I’m just tired.
I’m tired of people,
usually old white men, who know nothing of our communities being “kind” enough
to alert me to what my problems are. People like Bill O’Reilly telling me how I
should feel when a cop fucks with me for no reason other than being alive. This
coming from a guy who went to a restaurant with mostly black clientele and was
shocked people weren't yelling “where’s my sweet tea motherfucker!” Something
tells me your understanding of the black experience may be lacking quite a bit.
I’m tired.
I am tired of hearing
about how black fathers aren't there enough and that’s the answer to all the
ills of the black community. Let me drop this on you:
But hey keep spitting
the black fathers’ don’t care line; don’t let a thing like facts get in your
way.
So basically if you
come to me caring more about the officer who shot an unarmed kid in the back
please fall back. This country has
taught us innocent until proven guilty…unless you’re a big scary black man.
Then your fear trumps my right to even exist.
Holding the weight of
that reality is tiring.
