So Long 2012!

What a year it has been, the Chocolate Puma has been pretty consistent in giving you what you all didn’t know you needed, so you know I had to come and give you the end of the year blow out. We’ll be giving you my favorite things of 2012. In list form son! Shit’s gonna be tight ya’ll!

Favorite Song: Mercy-Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz

Despite the fact this song has Big Sean on it, (great line from Grantland regarding that: "Big Sean is like a tiny plastic pink flamingo placed in front of a photograph of the pyramids. He's there to give you a sense of perspective") this was by far the most addictive and my favorite song of the year. The beat is hypnotic and of course future poet laureate 2 Chainz is on the track.

Favorite Album: Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumours by Big Boi

Only 2 weeks old but this album bangs. This is some traditional Big Boi rhymes. Like real Outkast kind of stuff. Star of the album has to be the track “In the A” with T.I. and Ludacris.

Favorite Verse: Andre 3000 on Sorry by T.I.

Go to 3:15 mark and you’ll know why.

Favorite Athlete: Blake Griffin, F, Los Angeles Clippers

The dunk that made Perkins quit twitter.

I could front and say that his improving game as a power forward and gravity defying dunks were the reason he is here. No. This guy is hilarious.

Favorite Movie: The Dark Knight Rises

Was it as good as The Dark Knight? No. Was it still awesome? Yes. Also this was the first Batman movie in recent history to hit a homerun with Bane. 

Favorite TV Show: American Horror Story: Asylum

Delightfully disturbing and really makes you appreciate the amazing acting done by both Jessica Lange and Zachary Quinto. Just a seriously disturbing show.

Sidenote: Favorite TV Show Ever: The Wire

I can’t mention a tv show without bringing up my favorite show of all time. I am now shepherding my girlfriend through the series. She now agrees with me. Or I couldn’t hear her over my own proclamations.

Favorite TV Character: Ron Swanson

He is all that is man. ‘Nuff said.

Well gang that’s about it from the Puma. I wish you all a safe and prosperous New Year and keep coming back for more ridiculousness from your favorite feline of chocolaty descent. I leave you with one of my favorite things in the world right now….GIFS!!!

Christmas Ranting and Ravings

Boy it has been while since I have hit you all with an update but no worries friends the Chocolate Puma is here to give you the greatest gift of them all, my unsolicited opinions on things happening in the world today!

· The Puma doesn’t claim to have all the answers but something has to be done to curb the gun violence in this country. I’m not saying ban all guns, but what do you need with assault rifles? I honestly don’t know, so if someone can help me understand I’d be grateful. Keep your hand guns, your hunting rifles but let’s leave the assault rifles to those that can handle it. 

· Boy that Tim Tebow sure is something huh? Yesterday he told the coach what he wasn’t going to do. I’m sorry isn’t this the guy who has been lauded for years as being a “team guy.” A decision is made he doesn’t like and boy it sure looks like he got selfish real fast. If this was Cam Newton that did this the calls for him to be cut and blacklisted from the NFL would be all you can hear.

· Calvin Johnson is seriously like a video game creation. Watching this guy should make current DBs want to switch positions to avoid him. 

· Unless you’re this guy.


· This basketball season has been amazing to the Puma. Seeing teams overachieve like the Knicks, underachieve like the Lakers and teams play so boring you forget they exsist sometimes…cough, Spurs, cough.

· That said the Bulls are going to be the death of me. While I root for them actively, a part of me wants them to tank this season. Mostly to protect Derrick Rose and make sure that knee is 100%. Unfortunately that would mean seeing more of Nate Robinson, my least favorite player in the league right now.

·
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

Well gang it’s been a blast, but the Puma is going to sign off. But from the bottom of my heart I wish you all a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and even a Happy Kwanzaa if that’s your steez in the words of Zach Braff.

Merry Christmas from Hip Hop Santa!

Coward Strikes Again

Ugh. It seems every few months I have to sit down and angrily type out some angry rant and it always seems to be the same damn story. An unarmed black teenager was killed over nothing, absolutely nothing. Down in Florida where this appears to happen on a semi regular basis, this we know, a young man was sitting in a car with friends listening to music in a parking lot. An overzealous jackass and yes this guy is a jackass in my eyes, felt the need to insert himself in something that did not involve him and he took a life. A 17 year old kid is dead because of his actions and three other teenagers barely escaped the same fate. 

The trouble all started when Michael David Dunn and his girlfriend pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and she ran in to grab something as he stayed back. Nearby Jordan Russell Davis and his friends sat in a neighboring car waiting for a friend who also had run into the store. Here is where the story gets stupid in my opinion. The 17 year olds in the car were playing their music loud as 17 year olds are wont to do. Is it annoying sure? Does it justify murder? HELL NO. 

Hope you don't get too scared in prison.

 And guess what kids? Looks like this guy is using the “super fair and great” Stand Your Ground law to plead not guilty...sound familiar?  I’m sorry how this law remotely acceptable? You’re not standing your ground if you instigate a confrontation with someone. This guy started a fight, then unloaded bullets into a car of unarmed teenagers. This is a truth. And if he was so scared and was fearful for his life and as his lawyer said “acted responsibly and as any responsible firearms owner would have acted under these same circumstances.” A responsible firearms owner would not have sped from the scene like a thief in the night to his hotel and wait until it was released that a license plate had been recorded to go to the authorities. No this guy is a coward, no doubt about it.

And was it because it was a car full of black teenagers, probably listening to rap music that deemed them expendable to Dunn? It’s so engrained in society that this is what a threat looks like, a young black man who is listening to rap music. Well it appears that for the young black teenager, a middle aged man with a grudge appears to be his biggest threat. 

These stories always hit me hard. I have a nephew who is 18, I have cousins around this age, I have been in that situation where you’re perceived as a threat and you’re not doing anything. I understand people have to be cautious, but you can’t insert yourself into a situation, get mad because someone doesn’t do what you want then take their life. That’s not how this works. 

I don’t know what Michael David Dunn’s intentions were when he went over to that car, I don’t know if he is a racist, but I know that he extinguished a young man’s life and he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. Nothing that Jordan Russell Davis did warranted firing into a car of unarmed people because Dunn got scared.  

This isn’t a gun owner’s rights issue and it’s not a stand your ground issue. This is murder.

The Chocolate Puma Player of the Year Rankings

What a weekend for college football huh? The Puma spent many hours sitting and watching not counting those hours I was hanging out with family but that’s another story. Now I am ready to give the people what they want and that is the Puma’s opinion on the players of the year. Some faces you recognize and some are new but all are worthy of your time and respect. Here we go kids.

5. Braxton Miller: QB- Ohio St.

Season: 2,039 Yards Passing, 15 Passing Tds, 13 Rushing Tds

It’s a shame this kid won’t get to show off this year in a bowl game but something tells me he’ll get his chance next year. He has played outstanding football and steadily improving as a passer although he still relies heavily on his ability to scramble out of harm’s way.

4.  Marquise Lee: WR- USC          

Season: 112 receptions, 1,680 Receiving Yards, 15 Total Tds

Holy crap this is what you call an elite wide out. Not only is his an amazing receiver this kid kills in the return game averaging over 30 yards per return. Historically receivers don’t win the Heisman but damn it this is the Puma’s award and we give props to those who deserve it.

3.  Colin Klein: QB- Kansas St

Season: 2,306 Passing Yards, 34 Total Tds

One bad game where you throw three interceptions and your previously unbeaten squad loses is all it take to go from the leader in winning the Heisman to almost an afterthought. Doesn’t take away from the fact the kid has played tremendously well this year, even scoring an astonishing 20 rushing tds as a quarterback which is nothing to sneeze at.

2. Johnny Manziel: QB- Texas A&M

Season: 3,419 Passing Yards, 1,181 Rushing Yards, 43 Total Tds

I honestly believe this guy is going to win the Heisman and I can’t think of any reason why he shouldn’t. Over 4,500 yards of total offense and has led the Aggies to a top 10 ranking when it was automatically assumed that a move to the SEC would be a death wish. Way to prove me wrong freshman.

1. Manti Te’o

Season: 101 Tackles, 1.5 sacks, 7 Int, 4 Passes Deflected

Defensive players don’t win the Heisman, but guess what? The Puma Awards are all they need. The consummate leader through a tumultuous personal stage in his life, his play on the field has not dropped off at all. A whirling dervish of effectiveness, his mere presence is a disruption to opposing defenses. I think Fighting Irish coach Brian Kelly said it best, "If a guy like Manti Te’o is not going to win the Heisman, they should just make it an offensive award ... just cut to the chase." 

There you have it folks, but on a more personal note the Puma would like to introduce to all his followers the newest addition to his family, this blog and my twin sister.

Look at those eyes.

Clearly she has met her favorite person

Best buddies.

College Basketball Preview

Hello friends and enemies alike, the Chocolate Puma has decided to sit down and take the time for his adoring public and give you my unsolicited opinion on college basketball. I know, it’s not even Christmas yet and here I am making your wishes come true. I know I am too kind. Here we are kids, the Puma presents to you the top 15.

15. Arizona (2-0)
14. Missouri (3-0)
13. Gonzaga (3-0)
12. UCLA (3-0)
11. Michigan (3-0)
10. Kansas (2-1)
9. Michigan State (2-1)
8. North Carolina (3-0)
7. Kentucky (2-1)
6. Florida (3-0)
5. Syracuse (2-0)
4. Ohio State (3-0)
3. Duke (3-0)
2. Louisville (3-0)
1. Indiana (3-0)

Notes:
· Boy that list certainly hurt the Puma especially ranking the despised Blue Devils of Duke or my home boys in Chapel Hill but the Puma has to be honest and those kids are off to a good start.

· Indiana is going to be a handful as it appears Tom Crean has turned around the program after the disastrous Kelvin Sampson era. Cody Zeller is a player of the year candidate and his running mate Christian Watford is definitely an All Conference talent.

· I expect we will see a run from my number 12 team UCLA because Shabazz Muhammad has been cleared to play and that is a dynamic player.

· I keep getting the feeling that Michigan is really overrated. Just a hunch but this team could be completely out the top 20 by the New Year.

· Louisville guard Peyton Siva is going to be possibly the most important player on a top 5 squad. He is the engine that makes that team go.

Player of the Year:

3. James McAdoo, F: North Carolina

Is this wishful thinking on my part as a Carolina fan? Probably but the kid does have talent, and with the starters from last season’s squad playing with the big boys he will have plenty of opportunity to shine in Chapel Hill.

2. Peyton Siva, G: Louisville

This kid gets to the paint better than any point guard in the college game. He reminds me a lot of Tony Parker minus the shitty rap career. If he cuts down on the turnovers say hello to your Bob Cousy award winner for the 2012-13 season.

1. Cody Zeller, F: Indiana

Appears the hype is real on this kid. He went toe to toe with the defensive player and number one overall pick Anthony Davis last season and actually outplayed him. Solid from the free throw line, great passer, and the fact he’s on the number one team in the country in a marquee program means he will get plenty of time to shine for the voters.

Coach of the Year:

Rick Pitino, Louisville

"Yes I sleep with women at Olive Gardens, but I'm also a hell of a coach"

I want to say Roy Williams I really truly do. But that would be a lie. Pitino on the low has done a great job recruiting in the same talent pool that Kentucky usually dominates. He has a national title contender with really only 2 first round talents. I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy is in the Final Four come April.

Well gang, there it is. Give me your opinion but know this I am always right. Puma out.

Puma's Player of the Year Rankings

Well folks, it’s another week and another edition of the Chocolate Puma’s player of the year rankings. No need to procrastinate let’s dive right in! 

5. Johnny Manziel: QB- Texas A&M

"Pow bitch!"

Season:  2,527 yards passing, 922 rushing yards, 31 total touchdowns

Boy this Johnny Manziel is an exciting player the Puma must admit. I keep expecting a fall but nope this kid just keeps performing. It is going to see how he plays this week when he faces that vaunted Crimson Tide defense which is stingy against…well everything.

4.  Braxton Miller: QB- Ohio State

Season: 1,753 yards passing, 1,166 yards rushing, 27 total touchdowns

Just another day at the office for Mr. Miller as he fell one yard short of yet another game with 300 total yards in a 50-22 thrashing of Illinois. 

 3. Colin Klein: QB- Kansas St.

 Season: 1,875 yards passing, 698 rushing yards, 29 total touchdowns

Klein drops this week due to the fact he left last week’s game with an injury that well no one knows about. He had been playing well but given he couldn’t finish the Puma is cautious. 

2. Kenjon Barner: RB- Oregon

Season: 1,295 yards rushing, 19 touchdowns

Remember when I told you all not to get used to this kid in my top 5? Yeah I was wrong. And that’s not something that happens often! This kid ran all over USC racking up 321 yards rushing with FIVE TOUCHDOWNS. If that doesn’t scream Heisman moment I don’t know what will.

1. Manti Te’o

Boy he's excited to be in the #1 spot!

Season:  85 tackles, 2 sacks and 5 interceptions

Helped keep the Irish in the game against Pitt, and while statistically he didn’t blow anyone away this week Pitt was definitely aware of where he was the entire day and certainly did their damndest to avoid his general direction. This guy is certainly a worthy contender for the Puma’s player of the year award. 

Well gang that’s all I got for today, but keep your eyes peeled for my Mega college basketball preview.