Maybe I will pick up "Recovery"

I have a very special announcement, Slim Shady is back ladies and gentlemen I repeat Slim Shady is back.

Arrogance pure and simple

Mike Wilbon said the other day that the NFL is the most arrogant of the four major sports in America. I didn’t understand what he meant when he said until this morning when I awoke to hear the news of the degrading and downright insulting line of questioning that former Oklahoma State and current Dallas Cowboys draft pick Dez Bryant. If you haven’t heard the Miami Dolphins and their general manager Jeff Ireland thought it would be a great idea to ask the potential draft choice if his mother was a prostitute. His lame excuse was:

"My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I’m considering drafting," Ireland said in a statement. "Sometimes that leads to asking in-depth questions. Having said that, I talked to Dez Bryant and told him I used poor judgment in one of the questions I asked him. I certainly meant no disrespect and apologized to him."

Guess what Ireland? That is so disrespectful that the words to properly convey the level of disrespect has yet to be invented. I get that you only want to have players who are morally above reproach and classy guys. In that respect does the mistakes of the parents reflect poorly on the child? Remember the case of Ray Ray McElrathbey? He was the kid who gained custody of his younger brother while still at Clemson University because of his mother’s drug addiction. Seems like a kid who got it together even though he came from an awful background and is currently pursuing a graduate degree at Howard University. Ryan Leaf on the other hand, a kid who came from a relatively normal background yet turned out to be a massive bust and was eventually was arrested for drug possesion.

I think what makes this whole situation even more unacceptable is that if Bryant retaliated against this guy and say smacked the ever loving dumbassness out of him Bryant undoubtedly would have been vilified as a headcase. Or how about if he asked Ireland is he ever paid for sex, the point is Bryant’s job is to catch a football. He’s not a spiritual leader, not a teacher, just a football player.
There are a lot of people who claim that this is being blown out of proportion, stating people go through background and credit checks all the time for jobs. True, I have, if you’re reading this you probably have but here is the key difference. These checks are based on what the applicant have done, not what his family may have done.

You have all the right in the world to check and see what type of person you may be paying millions of dollars to, but at the same time you have to respect the player, because without them you may find yourself interviewing for a job and maybe mom’s alcoholism or dad’s adultery is on the table. Then let’s see if you think that employer is just doing his due diligence.

The Legendary Oak

When the pantheon of Chicago sports greats are mentioned there is a name that is consistently and unfairly absent from all these lists. A mountain of a man from the blue collar city of Cleveland but has made a mark on Chicago that very few athletes in this city have yet to attain. The legendary figure to which I am referring to is the man simply known as The Oak.

Confused? You shouldn't’t be. The exploits of former NBA power forward Charles Oakley should be recited to every man, woman and child. Stories that remind us that if you are blessed with one super power it should be the ability to be as bad ass as anyone on the planet, which coincidentally the Oak does possess. I know what you’re thinking, “how can the starting power forward from the Chicago Bulls during the late 80’s be so important?” While his impact on the court as Michael Jordan’s enforcer was fairly important it is not the crux of my argument. No, it is his role as Michael Jordan’s chief club cavorting comrade that is the foundation on which the legend of the Oak has firmly been built. In fact the rumor for years was that he was traded to the Knicks for 7’1 center Bill Cartwright not because the Bulls were in desperate need of a tough big man, I mean it doesn’t get tougher than the Oak. No he was traded away because of management’s concerns on how he would affect Michael Jordan the league’s burgeoning superstar.

One of my favorite alleged stories involving Oakley occurred where the majority of his misadventures occurred, a Chicago nightclub. You see he had quite reputation as being a ladies man and this night was no exception. He saw a particularly ravishing young lady and sauntered over to introduce himself as the dashing lothario that he was but he ran into a roadblock. The roadblock? This vixen had a boyfriend. This did not deter the Oak. The boyfriend eventually mustered up the strength to stand up to the 6’9, 245 pound power forward with an affinity for fighting. It appeared for a second that Oakley’s heart had softened as he saw this man stand up for his love so he walked away.In actuality he walked over to the coach check, laid down a heap of 100 dollar bills and took the young man’s coat. He then walked outside, set the coat on fire, and calmly reentered the establishment and alerted the young man the situation he now found himself in and it prompted his immediate exit to retrieve his seared garment. The rumor continues with Oak walking over to the girl and neither one of them going home alone.

Did this story happen exactly as the rumor tells? I’m not sure, but for a legend of his magnitude I really wouldn’t doubt it.

NFL Draft

The NFL draft is one of my favorite sporting events of the year, but the one thing I will never understand is how "high character guys" get penalized for being people of substance over some people who have a questionable past. Here is what some sources stated about my favorite player in the draft, Myron Rolle:

"You look at the opportunities away from football that Myron Rolle has; you wonder about the dedication to football. These teams want the guy to be a 24-hour, 365-days-a-year football player."
-- Mel Kiper Jr.

"To some in NFL circles, the former Florida State star's decision to put football on hold for a year while studying at one of the world's foremost academic institutions [Oxford] -- not to mention his plans to become a neurosurgeon -- indicates a lack of commitment to the game."
-- USA Today

"It's a character issue … if you want to create hesitation on a guy, make him think. [Rolle] can't help but think."
-- Brian Billick


Meanwhile a guy such as Carlos Dunlap is still projected to go first round despite being picked up on a dui where he was actually passed out behind the wheel of a car. Rolle's big discretion? BEING NAMED A RHODES SCHOLAR! He's now projected to go in the 5th round due to that decision. And people wonder what's wrong with our society.

Good to know

Turns out I'm pretty trustworthy...good to know.

Good Music Baby

Not much to write about today other than if you have yet to get this album, get it right now. Like RIGHT NOW.

Raphael Saadiq- The Way I See It

Also the best single:

Touche Lebron...touche.

Damn...I mean...damn.

MTV

Aziz Ansari is hosting the MTV Movie Awards. Looks like the impossible has happened, I may have to watch something on MTV.

The First Annual Chocolate Puma Awards

With the NBA season wrapping up and the Bulls not causing me to enter a state of depression not seen since the Bears last flop of a season I submit to you, the first annual Chocoalte Puma Awards for the NBA.

Coach of the Year:
Scott Brooks, Oklahoma City Thunder
I was very close to giving this to the coach of the Memphis Grizzlies Lionel Hollins for his job in making that team competitive, but no team made a leap like the Thunder. Not only are they young, but they are in the stacked Western conference. The Thunder under Brook's tuteledge and the explosive play of Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and co have the young kids from Oklahoma City ready to make some noise in the playoffs.

Rookie of the year:
Stephen Curry and Tyreke Evans (tie)
Evans is a stud. This kid has the ability to flat out take over a game with his physical tools and was possibly the most talented prospect in last year's draft. That said he was the only option on a weak sacramento team, gambled too much defensively, and faded towards the end of the season. Curry, what can I say about him outside of he was the unquestioned smartest player in the draft. While his defense leaves much to be desired, Curry gives you all you want in a player, intelligence, speed, and a dead eye for shooting. I expect many things from this kid in the future.

Nickname of the Year:
Kevin "The Durantula" Durant, SF, Oklahoma City

All Puma Team
G- Dwayne Wade: 26.6 ppg, 6.5 apg, 4.8 rpg
G- Kobe Bryant: 27.0 Ppg, 5.4 rpg, 5 apg
F- Lebron James: 29.7 ppg, 7.3 rpg, 8.6 apg
F- Kevin Durant: 30.1 ppg, 7.6 rpg, 2.8 apg
C- Dwight Howard: 18.4 ppg, 13.2 rpg, 2.8 bpg

And now drum roll please...I present to you the Chococlate Puma's Award for Outstanding Achievement in the field of excellence to...

Lebron James, seen here celebrating being awarded this prestigious honor.

The Chocolate Puma's Dunk of the year

This is what happens when a slow footed Croatian basketball player attempts to be a hero to someone with a 40 inch vertical.

An Open Letter to the Skanks of America.

Dear Skanks of America,

Hi. Brian Thompson here. You may not know me… who are we kidding you definitely know me from my random rants, constant harranguing against the Black Eyed Peas, and my hatred of the American alimony system. You might see this letter as just another thing that I dislike in this American culture but I say nay. I enjoy girl scout cookies (thin mints are the bee’s knees!) and a good Klondike bar. See there are two things I like, certainly put you in your place. On to my original point of this letter however, you are not a victim and you shall receive no sympathy from me.

Where is this coming from you may be asking. Well I heard a statement from the spokesperson for your ahem distinguished group. That’s right, the lovely, beautiful, and demure Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, last seen in Nazi paraphanelia. "I want to say to the rest of the country, 'Stop taking it out on the mistresses and start taking it out on the men who are cheating on their wives,” she said with a straight face. “Why are these men getting off scot free while the mistresses are considered whores, and we're stepped on and we're booed and we're called nasty names? It's the man's responsibility, they're the ones in the marriage, they need to keep their vows. It's very easy to say, 'You know what I'm a married man.' They can easily walk away."

First, let’s take the biggest case of a man getting caught cheating, Tiger Woods. I think it’s safe to say that losing milions of dollars in endorsement deals, the potential disolution of his marriage, and becoming a national joke is not getting off scot free. His mistresses have picked up money making opportunities off of sleeping with a married man. I submit to you that while those women may not be whores, sleeping with famous and married men is whore like behavior. As easy it would be for a married man to say “I’m married,” it’s even easier not to put him in that position and say I don’t know, not hit on a man you already know is married.
Now I am not one to tell people how to live their lives skanks, I don’t know your situation. I do know that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, guess what baby? People are gonna think it’s a duck.

And lately I gotta say you skanks have been quacking a lot.

Signed,
Brian

Martina Navartilova...listen.

My aunt could teach Martina Navartilova a thing or two. Okay, maybe not on the tennis courts where Navartilova is a legend having amassed a career total of 167 wins, 18 of those being major championships. I doubt my aunt has ever picked up a tennis racket. Or maybe not on running triathlons or playing ice hockey both which Navartilova does even at the age of 53 and my aunt does not do. No, my aunt could teach her a more important lesson in my eyes. My aunt can teach her how to survive the horror that will afflict over 12.7 percent of women born in the United States according to the National Cancer Institute. My aunt can show her how to handle breast cancer.

One of the strongest women I have ever had the privledge and honor of knowing has slayed the beast twice, and I am sure she will tell you that while it wasn’t easy, she never gave up hope and she always kept her faith. When she was forst diagnosed, I was a little too young to understand the seriiousness of the situation. I just remembered thinking that PJ could be taken from me by a disease that strikes anyone it pleases. The prospect scared me more than any clown, tall building, or bump in the night ever would. But in her always calm, always reassuring (and sometime sarcastic ) tone she said and I believe I am quoting, “I’ll be fine.” My young fears were squashed. I could hear in her voice that everything would be ok.

Fast forward a decade and a few years, the reprehensible and dastardly foe decided to strike my dear PJ again. Much like her first diagnosis her reply to me one night after a call was a simple, “I’m fine.” The cancer didn’t want to accept this answer but really, didn’t stand a chance. As she courageously went through another bout of chemotherapy I am blessed to say my aunt is still here and she is still kicking. Her sarcastic tone and style of saying the craziest thing and keeping a straight face is still there and she is just about back to 100 percent.

I guess the whole point of this rambling and at times incoherent rant is just to show how proud of my aunt I am and in awe of her inner strenth and faith. While Navartilova may have more wins on the tennis circuit, I think my aunt’s two wins are pretty big in their own right and hopefully Navartilova can join her club.
A super human indeed