Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Not So Curious Case of Colin Kaepernick

So this free agency period of the NFL has been quite interesting. The most interesting part for me as I write this, isn't who signed for what, but why hasn't Colin Kaepernick been signed yet?
Here you have a guy who has gone to a super bowl, a conference championship and last year while coming off an injury in 12 games threw for 2,241 yards, 16 touchdowns to just 4 interceptions and a 90.4 QB rating while also rushing for 468 yards and 2 additional touchdowns; yet he can't even get brought in for visit. In a quarterback starved league you'd think teams would be salivating, yet they are not.

First and foremost in the NFL, black quarterbacks rarely are given second chances. Don't believe me?
Warren Moon had to spend 6 years in the CFL for his FIRST chance.
Greg Howard of Deadspin did an amazing job detailing this, it's a bit of a read but you'll get the point. Hell one of the 3 greatest quarterbacks of all time, Warren Moon (fight me if you disagree) had to play 6 seasons in the CFL before even getting a sniff  with the Oilers. And he STILL went on to have a Hall of Fame career in the NFL. In that time quarterbacking luminaries such as Jeff Komlo, Joe Pisarcik, and Marc Wilson all got MULTIPLE chances. Who are they? Exactly.

I bring that up to say that we very well may have seen the last of Colin Kaepernick in the NFL.
Josh McCown just signed to his 7th NFL team. SEVEN
You see quarterbacks such Ryan Fitzpatrick, Josh McCown and Brock Osweiler will get multiple chances but the fact Kaep is a black quarterback teamed with him using his platform to to bring attention to social problems has made him weirdly untouchable. The great irony of it all is Kaepernick is essentially everything that you ask an athlete to be. Someone who uses his platform to help those less fortunate, his protest was literally taking a knee, he didn't boast about it, it only came up when he was asked about it but somehow that's worst the drunk drivers, domestic abusers, etc.

If this is based purely on talent and on the field play, there is absolutely no way you can give me a logical reason why Kaep is not on an NFL roster. Each team carries at least 2 quarterbacks, most carry 3, so for the sake of argument there are at least 64 spots available.
68.3 Rating? Get your ass over here and sign!
You mean to tell me you'd rather have Josh McCown, Nick Foles, Matt Barkley, or Landry Jones? If you tell me that then you're telling me one of three things, you're a liar, you don't watch football, or it's not about on the field play.

I can admit that he may not be a top level starter but you have to admit that he definitely is talented enough to be in the league. If you don't believe that he belongs in the league then at least be honest enough to admit that it has nothing to do with on the field play and examine yourself.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

March's If You Don't Sit Your Ass Down Award

So it would appear that the moment is finally upon us to present the Golden Ethan Allen to someone. Boy we have some highly qualified candidates who can rightfully be given a royal side eye and told to check themselves, lest they wreck themselves. Well folks I think you'll agree with this month's choice. I wasn't going to choose this person but a few days ago he said something so remarkably stupid it knocked the person I had chosen clear off the list. You got lucky this time Lena Dunham.

The man who is this month's recipient is.... Dr. Ben Carson! Ben, get your slow mumbling ass up here so you can sit your ass down!

Boy I don't even know where to begin with this guy. First of all I hadn't forgotten that he called the glorious institution and amazing beacon of poultry perfection "Popeyes" a Popeyes organization.
 Sir I will not stand idly by as you refuse to put some respect on this fine chain's name. And to make it worse he was bragging about sending some poor cashier a one way ticket to Armed Robbery Station. That's not a good thing you sentient sloth!

And then this week, the dear doctor said one of the most idiotic and downright stupid things I've ever heard in my entire life. While speaking to HUD employees he said...ahem, and I quote: "There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less."

Pretty damn stupid right? When I heard these comments I wanted to use my gifted hands to give the good doctor a gift of my own. Eyore inspired ding bat. An immigrant is not a person forcibly brought over and forced to work. And no matter how hard or how long they worked they weren't doing it for less because of some form of work ethic, they were doing it because they'd die if they didn't work.What you're doing with comments like this is downplaying the brutality of slavery and comes off as trying to whitewash the past sins of this country.

So for your remarkably tone deaf and historically inaccurate comments (not to mention the passive disrespect of Popeyes) I present you with this...

Ben...Sit your ass down!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

9 Years of Excellence!

On February 27, 2008 I posted a blog post in my newly christened blog where I called out the hypocrisy of Natalie Cole criticizing Amy Winehouse. Nine years later I’m still typing away, sometimes angrily, sometimes happily, but all the time I’m just being me. Who would have thought that a decade ago when the moniker of the Chocolate Puma was bestowed upon me by my good friend Kevin that 1. I’d still be going by that and 2. I’d have a blog by the same name for 9 of those years. It is in this spirit that I present to you the 9 of my most random thoughts at the current moment given that this was the initial goal when I started this, a place for my random thoughts. 

9.  Given the uncertain times, and just straight up fuckery in which we are constantly being inundated with, seeing the good people of Moonlight win was a moment that completely warmed my soul. And of course the petty part of me loved seeing the Oscar ripped away from La La Land which was wildly hilarious.
He had a black ass year.
8. I know many people are not a fan of the trade that sent Boogie Cousins to Sacramento but I love it. I think that this makes New Orleans a wildly attractive landing spot for free agents.
Teaming with Anthony Davis, together they are averaging a combine 58 points per game and this is only after 3 games. Give them time and Alvin Gentry could have a formidable team in the West soon. They’ll at least be wildly entertaining.

7.  I’m seeing a ton of hot takes after Casey Affleck won the Oscar for best actor. Some of the more trash takes center around Nate Parker getting snubbed come award season. Some are even going as far as to blame black feminists for the snub, and asking where the outrage over Affleck was. Look, if you’re arguing that Nate Parker should have gotten shine because Affleck did, you’re an asshole. You should want the same thing to happen to Affleck and not access to the right to be a predator. 

6. Donald Trump can’t properly tie his tie and he orders a dry aged steak well done with ketchup on it. That’s ya’ll man.

5. There are very few things on the planet earth that O hate more than shitty acoustic covers of hip-hop songs. I heard some guitar strumming moron covering Kendric Lamar's 'King Kunta.' It made me so angry I almost drove to a Guitar Center and slapped the first person I saw buying a guitar.
These songs stand on their own, you're not doing it favor by slowing it down and adding a your wailing over a slow strumming of your guitar. Leave hip-hop alone.

4. Anyone who has read me for any amount of time will tell you I am a nerd of the highest order. I long have abandoned going out in order to watch documentaries or crime shows. If there is anything I can recommend to you from the depths of my nerdy ass soul, is to get into the Star Wars Darth Vader comics and do it right damn now.
I don't even care if you don't like comic books, go buy the damn book and revel in the bad assness of one Darth Jerome Vader.

3. For the first time in recent history I wasn't asked the dumb ass question that every black person gets asked in February. "Why is there a black history month? How come there's no white history month?" A quick google search could really help you out. There are numerous months dedicated to the history of ell everyone. If you are too lazy to google then keep your dumb ass question to yourself. It's not my job to educate you.

2. Wrestling fans, do yourself a favor, look up the work that Cody Rhodes is doing particularly in New Japan and Ring of Honor. His "American Nightmare" character is just a work of art and plays on the moniker of the "American Dream" that his father Dusty Rhodes portrayed for years. If he WWE is smart, they'll beg him to come back, put him in the main event where he should have been and continue his masterful work as the American Nightmare.

And last but not least...
1. We are closing in the time when the home of the Chocolate Puma will be welcoming in the Chocolate Cub. I'm consistently racked with anxiety, fear, and excitement. Do I have any idea what I am doing now or will I then? Not at all. But my excitement and eagerness to give this kid all I got and more shall make this an amazing time. Also it doesn't hurt when your wife is smarter than you. 

Alright take it easy peeps.